Burns Night

[CCArchive]

Haggis & turnips, tartan and bagpipes, lashings of cheap blended whisky, and a bunch of pretentious fuckwits spouting incomprehensible drivel in an archaic barbarian dialect. Just another day in Scotland, then. Tam O'Shanter was a cunt.

[Guest Ollyboro]

Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient yells -

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place"

Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient shouts -

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Worried about where he is, Charles turns to the accompanying doctor and asks "Is this a psychiatric ward?"

"No," replies the doctor, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

 

Fuck right off.