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Crimewatch


Jiggerycock

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This programme is of legitimate interest only to the .00001% of  the population who actually witnessed any of the crimes they cover, who can be arsed to watch this load of old cathode-ray wank in the first place and who then go "Swelp me! I bloody knew I forgot something last month!  Sainsbury's for bullets, condoms, Vaseline.....spunked my money up the wall in Ladbrokes....dodged the balaclavered nutter with the sawn-off shotgun running out of NatWest.....pork pie and a pint in 'The Old English Racist'. Christ I best phone Plod! The quality of that pork pie was a disgrace!" Otherwise it gives folks without access to porn and rotten.com a vicarious thrill about the evils of the world, whilst shoring up their asinine prejudices. They fucking WANT you to have nightmares! That's the whole point.

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The crime is that the "mystery killer" took out Jill Dando instead of Nick Ross.

 

For professional reasons Mrs Baws does enjoy the odd true crime / serial killer program from time to time (there are entire channels dedicated to that shit, 24x7) but even she won't watch Crimewatch. They might as well just get Jeremy fucking Kyle to present it.

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Guest SackMyCook

I find it funny when the investigating officer in charge is given their few minutes of air time. The usual old classics like, "we are keeping an open mind" or in other words they haven't got the fucking foggiest idea about the culprit. Or "he was in a blue car with the registration beginning with the letter V" that helps to narrow it down to 400,000 vehicles. There are too many chestnuts to list.

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Appeal to the public? What the fuck are we paying you for plod? You dont investigate fucking anything, the list of stuff you do nothing about just gets longer and fucking longer.

Quick there's someone with an out of date tax disc.

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I find it funny when the investigating officer in charge is given their few minutes of air time. The usual old classics like, "we are keeping an open mind" or in other words they haven't got the fucking foggiest idea about the culprit. Or "he was in a blue car with the registration beginning with the letter V" that helps to narrow it down to 400,000 vehicles. There are too many chestnuts to list.

Maybe they should get that fat blonde woman off "Criminal Minds". They give her  "who has a white van with a dent in the side in Seattle" she keys in (bish bosh bash) and viola "I have 3 with a dent in the side: One owner's dead; one owners in jail and one owners a convicted peadophile". Right thats the fucker, tool up we're on our way.

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Appeal to the public? What the fuck are we paying you for plod? You dont investigate fucking anything, the list of stuff you do nothing about just gets longer and fucking longer.

Quick there's someone with an out of date tax disc.

Never see a copper on the beat? Go to a random vehicle check and you'll see over 30 of the buggers standing there and then they do fuck all but just watch the handful of DVLA nazis interviewing innocent motorists! You can see where the met police's priorities lie!

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A load of fucking old 'Drosswatch'

When are the Old Bill, actually gonna police themselves and do what the fuck they've been paid for?

They have every fucking method under the sun at their disposal to catch criminals, from DNA analysis, Infra red radar & forensics, a helicopter and even a fucking whistle, but no. They expect US to do their own dirty work for them whilst they're busy inventing-up evidence against some poor cunt who broke both legs of an intruder to his home, or busy destroying/losing any evidence against their very own criminal activities.  

They are all fucking HOPELESS at solving crimes, unless they catch the cunts red-handed, and even then they allow many of them to get away without any charge. 

'CopperWatch' would be a more befitting program, where folks can phone in to grass up the many hundreds of bent, lying, law-breaking, cunts that the vast majority of them truly are. How much more PUBLIC evidence did they need for example, to nick the rapists of Rotherham? Everything that they received was swept under the fucking carpet!  All coppers are cunts, every last of the bastards.   

The arseholes on these cop reality shows do themselves no favour the way they treat motorists they pull over for either the slightest infringement or "a hunch"! Fucking nazis the lot of them

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Maybe they should get that fat blonde woman off "Criminal Minds". They give her  "who has a white van with a dent in the side in Seattle" she keys in (bish bosh bash) and viola "I have 3 with a dent in the side: One owner's dead; one owners in jail and one owners a convicted peadophile". Right thats the fucker, tool up we're on our way.

Fucking brilliant! And if that chunky penis-dodger isn't available they could always get the weird cunt from 24 in to redivert some miltary satellites to provide HD quality surveillance footage of the incident that they weren't even fucking pointing at when it happened!

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Fucking brilliant! And if that chunky penis-dodger isn't available they could always get the weird cunt from 24 in to redivert some miltary satellites to provide HD quality surveillance footage of the incident that they weren't even fucking pointing at when it happened!

Could they use it to find out who burgled a cake shop in Derby and stole 500 donuts, only clues found were a half eaten jam ring and a broken plastic sword.
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No one put the fear up the crims more than Shaw Taylor. The silly old bastard.

Keep 'em peeled! When I was a kid Police 5 was always on before the friday film at 10.30. And they use to have 'Junior police 5' aimed at kids on a saturday morning, where some kids had their raleigh choppers stolen. Thats when our caravan site got raided and all the villagers came for us.

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Guest KuntaCunty

Anybody that wishes to watch crime, need only go to the nearest town centre, and watch the vandals defacing cars, assaulting pensioners at knife point, and kicking fuck out of some nerdy brat, whose unwed mum has sheltered him from reality by breastfeeding him until he was 12.  The telly can't come close tot he quality programmes happening right outside our fucking doors. 

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A load of fucking old 'Drosswatch'
When are the Old Bill, actually gonna police themselves and do what the fuck they've been paid for?
They have every fucking method under the sun at their disposal to catch criminals, from DNA analysis, Infra red radar & forensics, a helicopter and even a fucking whistle, but no. They expect US to do their own dirty work for them whilst they're busy inventing-up evidence against some poor cunt who broke both legs of an intruder to his home, or busy destroying/losing any evidence against their very own criminal activities.  
They are all fucking HOPELESS at solving crimes, unless they catch the cunts red-handed, and even then they allow many of them to get away without any charge. 
'CopperWatch' would be a more befitting program, where folks can phone in to grass up the many hundreds of bent, lying, law-breaking, cunts that the vast majority of them truly are. How much more PUBLIC evidence did they need for example, to nick the rapists of Rotherham? Everything that they received was swept under the fucking carpet!  All coppers are cunts, every last of the bastards.

Yeah.... and another thing..........

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