Guest Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Pointless and fucking irritating bi-annual cunts. "Sorry son, if you want ventelation, you're going to have to put up with us!" So fucking stupid, not only do they piss off creatures thousands of times their size they do other life preserving moves like flying at and straight into a fucking gas burner. I seriously wish we could rid world of these spindly cunts, completely devoid of any kind of kind of intelligence or basic survival instinct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frank Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Pointless and fucking irritating bi-annual cunts. "Sorry son, if you want ventelation, you're going to have to put up with us!" So fucking stupid, not only do they piss off creatures thousands of times their size they do other life preserving moves like flying at and straight into a fucking gas burner. I seriously wish we could rid world of these spindly cunts, completely devoid of any kind of kind of intelligence or basic survival instinct. Kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 One of the bastards has got into my lampshade and it was driving me and my cats mad. Twatted it to the floor and the cats are having a play with the cunting thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Is long legs daddy's pet name for Bronski's mum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Tipulids have rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 just like Alex Salmond, they serve no purpose other than to irritate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 I don't know why they have such great long legs whilst they've got wings and that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Every year we get to mid September and i always say "ooh been lucky ain't seen one of em daddy long legs thingys". Soon as i say it one of the little cunts gets into my bedroom when I'm reading before bedy byes. Then I'm having to chase the fucker round the bedroom ceiling with a rolled up copy of "Pikey monthly'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Don't these things have a venom that can seriously harm you but they don't have the fangs to inject it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 When I see one of these bloody things, I get the cricket bat out, and swing away. On average, it takes me only a couple of good swings, and the worthless little cunt is done. If I am in the mood for a laugh, I tell the missus my shoulder is aching, and that she will have to do the little bastard in. She'll miss the fucker a hundred times, but put holes in the wall, and break lamps like a pro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 I'd rather converse with a Daddy Long Legs than BronyKeith. I wouldn't consider what Bronski posts as "conversing." Monosyllabic gibberish doesn't count as carrying a conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Frank Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 Don't these things have a venom that can seriously harm you but they don't have the fangs to inject it? Correct. They also fire blanks from their oversized nuts dangling between legs 5 and 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheCatWoman Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 When I was a little girl and terrified of all things insecty, we used to get loads of these fuckers in the house and I used to squash them up against the wall. There were literally dozens of smeared daddy long legs around my bedroom wall. I got bitten by a fucking horse fly the other day. Didn't half hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 Don't these things have a venom that can seriously harm you but they don't have the fangs to inject it?Urban myth, first of all, there are actually three kinds of critters called daddy longlegs. The common name daddy longlegs is most often used to describe Opiliones, aka harvestmen. Opiliones are arachnids, but not spiders. They have no venom glands at all, and are absolutely not venomous. The nickname daddy longlegs may also refer to a crane fly, which is a true fly and a member of the order Diptera. Crane flies do not pose a threat, either. Sometimes, the name daddy longlegs is used for another group of arachnids, the spiders of the family Pholcidae. These spiders are also called cellar spiders. Cellar spiders do have venom glands. However, there is no scientific evidence whatsoever to confirm that their venom can harm a human being. No studies have been done on cellar spider venom to measure its toxicity to people, according to spider experts at the University of California-Riverside. Pholcid spiders do have short fangs, but not any shorter than other spiders that have been known to bite humans. The cellar spider's fangs are similar in structure to those of a brown recluse spider, which we know can and does bite humans. Again, there is no evidence or proof to the claim that their fangs are too short to bite a person. In fact, the show Mythbusters tackled this daddy longlegs legend back in 2004. Host Adam Savage subjected himself to a cellar spider bite, proving that the daddy longlegs spider is indeed capable of breaking human skin. The results? Savage reported nothing more than a very mild, short-lived burning sensation. Analysis of the daddy longlegs' venom revealed it's nowhere near as potent as venom from a black widow spider. So, you really don't need to worry about daddy longlegs, of any variety. They are still utter cunts though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 When I was a little girl and terrified of all things insecty, we used to get loads of these fuckers in the house and I used to squash them up against the wall. There were literally dozens of smeared daddy long legs around my bedroom wall. I got bitten by a fucking horse fly the other day. Didn't half hurt. Bug gut splatter is a serious cunt. Scrubbing the walls before painting to get the shite off only means you have to wait for the plaster to dry. If you don't clean the cunts remains off your walls before they dry, you'll need an electrical sander to get it off. Just look at how much effort it takes to clean a wind screen after a long drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 They were called Jenny Long Legs where I grew up - presumably because it was assumed that anything so whiny and annoying had to be female. Ah, Scotland, good to have you in the Union. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 When I was a little girl and terrified of all things insecty, we used to get loads of these fuckers in the house and I used to squash them up against the wall. There were literally dozens of smeared daddy long legs around my bedroom wall. I got bitten by a fucking horse fly the other day. Didn't half hurt. When I was little I was scared of the coal man who lived down the road at number 53. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 They were called Jenny Long Legs where I grew up - presumably because it was assumed that anything so whiny and annoying had to be female. Ah, Scotland, good to have you in the Union. A bit unfair on the fairer sex there Bawsy - you're forgetting the whining crybaby cunt Oscar Pistorius. Come to think of it, he'd be known as Ozzy Short Legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 Urban myth, first of all, there are actually three kinds of critters called daddy longlegs. The common name daddy longlegs is most often used to describe Opiliones, aka harvestmen. Opiliones are arachnids, but not spiders. They have no venom glands at all, and are absolutely not venomous. The nickname daddy longlegs may also refer to a crane fly, which is a true fly and a member of the order Diptera. Crane flies do not pose a threat, either. Sometimes, the name daddy longlegs is used for another group of arachnids, the spiders of the family Pholcidae. These spiders are also called cellar spiders. Cellar spiders do have venom glands. However, there is no scientific evidence whatsoever to confirm that their venom can harm a human being. No studies have been done on cellar spider venom to measure its toxicity to people, according to spider experts at the University of California-Riverside. Pholcid spiders do have short fangs, but not any shorter than other spiders that have been known to bite humans. The cellar spider's fangs are similar in structure to those of a brown recluse spider, which we know can and does bite humans. Again, there is no evidence or proof to the claim that their fangs are too short to bite a person. In fact, the show Mythbusters tackled this daddy longlegs legend back in 2004. Host Adam Savage subjected himself to a cellar spider bite, proving that the daddy longlegs spider is indeed capable of breaking human skin. The results? Savage reported nothing more than a very mild, short-lived burning sensation. Analysis of the daddy longlegs' venom revealed it's nowhere near as potent as venom from a black widow spider. So, you really don't need to worry about daddy longlegs, of any variety. They are still utter cunts though! You're not David Attenborough are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 You're not David Attenborough are you? No I am not as good as him! I'm a cunt, I don't think Sir David has ever been a cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 Pointless and fucking irritating bi-annual cunts. "Sorry son, if you want ventelation, you're going to have to put up with us!" So fucking stupid, not only do they piss off creatures thousands of times their size they do other life preserving moves like flying at and straight into a fucking gas burner. I seriously wish we could rid world of these spindly cunts, completely devoid of any kind of kind of intelligence or basic survival instinct. One turned up last night in me b-room, I wasn't happy for it to join me, so I got me navy lamb's wool cardigan (Hobbs 2012 Autumn collection) & swung it round at the blighter - I then had a restful nights sleep knowing the cunt had snuffed it, & it wouldn't be tickling me nostrils at 3.00 am - as they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 When I was little I was scared of the coal man who lived down the road at number 53. When I was little I was scared of my brothers because they used to beat the shit out of me for a laugh. Then my granddad taught me how to box and I used to get beaten up even worse because I pissed them off even more by hurting them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 Mrs Grumps used to have a few of these cunts poking out the sides of her undies. I chased her with fly spray until she kicked me in the balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 Mrs Grumps used to have a few of these cunts poking out the sides of her undies. I chased her with fly spray until she kicked me in the balls. How was she able to swing a leg at moving clock weights? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 She managed to hit the left one and inertia cannoned it into right one and I was unable to move or breath until they stopped by which time she had made her getaway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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