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Having the burning hot shits at tea time


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Guest KuntaCunty

Its fucking agony :(:o

 

Agreed.  Fucking horrid affliction, that.  Had a bout just a few weeks ago, for which the Thai feast was to blame.  Missus likes things extra hot.  I prefer mild heat, because the ingredients shouldn't be overpowered. 

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Guest cuntcrapper

After 36 years of giardiasis I learned that baby wipes are the only answer, but only after papering a bit first.

 

I find this too, what ratio of paper to wipes do you prefer? I find that two to one paper, to wipes is the best approach. I tried a 2 to 2 regime at first but found I got piles as a result. I have now settled on Aldi 'Mamia' wipes, at 64p for 65 sheets, their good value. Their also good for cleaning under the bonnet of the car with and if you've done a good job with the two pieces of arse wipe paper initially you can easily multi-task with them...

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Guest Alfie Noakes

I find this too, what ratio of paper to wipes do you prefer? I find that two to one paper, to wipes is the best approach. I tried a 2 to 2 regime at first but found I got piles as a result. I have now settled on Aldi 'Mamia' wipes, at 64p for 65 sheets, their good value. Their also good for cleaning under the bonnet of the car with and if you've done a good job with the two pieces of arse wipe paper initially you can easily multi-task with them...

Like the handy universal oil a 3 in 1 ratio works best. 3 paper to 1 wipe. Can block the drains if you aren't careful though.

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I haven't had a solid shit for years. Its like my withered old arsepipe has reverted to producing sloppy green baby shit. I occasionally have to fish out bits of my liver and stuff it back up. Your not getting away from me that easy you cunt you've got more booze to process.

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Guest Alfie Noakes

Blimey, you lot dont know the meaning of rectal destruction. I promise you that 36 years of giardia was nearly my reason to book a one way ticket to dignitas. Nothing stays inside you for more than an hour and the organism multiplies by two every two hours producing kilos of itself per day which has to escape. As it breeds it poisons the blood with toxins and as it is an anaerobic organism it produces hydrogen sulphide gas in zeppelin like qualities. The gas stinks of rotten eggs and comes out as both prolific belching and farting, the thing is you dare not fart unless over the porcelain as the chance of following through is a dead certainty. The organism generates heat and it comes out wetter and hotter than a vindaloo through a flamethrower.
Caught it in Egypt, it is true what they say, when abroad dont drink the water.

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I haven't had a solid shit for years. Its like my withered old arsepipe has reverted to producing sloppy green baby shit. I occasionally have to fish out bits of my liver and stuff it back up. Your not getting away from me that easy you cunt you've got more booze to process.


I enjoy these intimate peeps into your domestic life, Grumps... It's a bit like the Archers..... On PCP.
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If it's like "passing glass" pain or more a nagging discomfort made worse by defecation? Or more like a continuous arching pain or a severe cramp in the anal canal? There may be something seriously wrong with you or not.

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