Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Why do some people feel it's acceptable to suddenly jam on their brakes and stop in the road just because their fucking phone is ringing? I was following a car tonight that suddenly did this and came to a halt about two foot from the curb. No indicators on to say it was pulling in, the idiot just stopped. I didn't know what the reason for this manoeuvre was initially and sat behind patiently in case there was an animal in the road or the car had a problem. However, ir soon became apparent from the arm waving going on that the cunt was on the 'phone and completely oblivious to the three or four cars stuck behind him. Fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 I had some bell end kiddy on a shitty 125 motorbike tail gating me this morning doing about 50. If I had to slam on the anchors to avoid the numerous dear and wild boar that roam this region he'd now be having every bone in his body bolted back together. I was praying for my phone to ring so I had a legitimate reason to stop and have cuntchops slam into my bumper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 The current trend towards larger and larger mobile phone screens is potentially bad news for anyone with a normal sized arsehole who does this in front of me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 the numerous dear and wild boar that roam this region Forest of Dean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 How bist thee old butt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 The current trend towards larger and larger mobile phone screens is potentially bad news for anyone with a normal sized arsehole who does this in front of me. I can imagine an iPhone 6 plus, shoved sideways up an arsehole, would definitely bring tears to the recipients eyes....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 How bist thee old butt That'll be a yes then! I'm not far away and work with a number of foresters ol' butt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 I wonder how long it will be before Frank arrives to declare this nom a pile of shit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 I can imagine an iPhone 6 plus, shoved sideways up an arsehole, would definitely bring tears to the recipients eyes....... I miss the eighties. That said, it wouldn't even have touched the sides of George Michael's. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 That'll be a yes then! I'm not far away and work with a number of foresters ol' butt. I'm not a true native, just an immigrant from over the Severn. Driving like a twat wasn't invented in the forest but they've defiantly perfected it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 I'm not a true native, just an immigrant from over the Severn. Driving like a twat wasn't invented in the forest but they've defiantly perfected it They certainly have. Driving like a cunt in the forest seems to be the norm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 They certainly have. Driving like a cunt in the forest seems to be the norm. Got to get home to shag their sisters/cousins/pets/sheep etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Mobiles are for cunts Thanks for that highly articulate contribution to the thread, Del. As usual, you come across as a bit of a thicko. Merry Christmas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Well what do you expect for a cuntish nom, rocket science? Mobiles are for rude ignorant dumb cunts who have no friends, no conversation, and can't do a fucking thing without looking on their mobile every two minutes or sit on steps playing stupid 3 year old kids games - cunts the lot of them. I certainly don't expect rocket science from you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 18, 2014 Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 How bist thee old butt I've gigged many times throughout the forest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 On 18/12/2014 at 20:35, Iam Ape said: I wonder how long it will be before Frank arrives to declare this nom a pile of shit? This is the only nomination you have done that I can find... It’s awful... Don’t do any more you fucking wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 3 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: This is the only nomination you have done that I can find... It’s awful... Don’t do any more you fucking wanker. Fancy popping round for G&T Gavin? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 21, 2019 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 31 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: This is the only nomination you have done that I can find... It’s awful... Don’t do any more you fucking wanker. If this the only nomination of mine that you can find, then you’re clearly more of a useless piece of semen-infused shit than I previously thought. Fuck off, you weedy little poof. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted February 21, 2019 Report Share Posted February 21, 2019 I imagine grape looks like a stroke victim when he's driving his car, Vroom Vroom! red cars go faster derr durrr! His big tongue flapping around out of the window and spit all over the inside of the windscreen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 22, 2019 Report Share Posted February 22, 2019 18 hours ago, EreptileDysfunction said: I imagine grape looks like a stroke victim when he's driving his car, Vroom Vroom! red cars go faster derr durrr! His big tongue flapping around out of the window and spit all over the inside of the windscreen. Rubbish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted February 22, 2019 Report Share Posted February 22, 2019 3 hours ago, Bubba C said: Rubbish. No it's true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted March 21, 2019 Report Share Posted March 21, 2019 I'd rather the cunt stop to answer the mobile, catch Pokemon or connect on Grindr than try and do it whilst still moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted March 21, 2019 Report Share Posted March 21, 2019 On 22/02/2019 at 19:50, Erroreptile404 said: No it's true! I'm glad you're dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted March 21, 2019 Report Share Posted March 21, 2019 On 22/02/2019 at 19:50, Erroreptile404 said: No it's true! I'm afraid bubbles is correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 22, 2019 Report Share Posted March 22, 2019 On 21/02/2019 at 20:46, Iam Ape said: If this the only nomination of mine that you can find, then you’re clearly more of a useless piece of semen-infused shit than I previously thought. Fuck off, you weedy little poof. Anyway not a very successful nomination was it ? Failure to make a second page is truly awful and a correct barometer of your insignificance and literary impotence. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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