and Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 Every time I go into town theres some cunt of a teenager with a fuckin' beard, playing an acoustic guitar, probably trying to impress his twat of a girlfriend or get signed up to a recording contract. I'm sick of the cunts, that ginger twat Ed Sheeran has a lot to answer for. What's wrong with a Srat and a 100watt Marshall stack ? That'll blow the whiskers off these namby-pamby, Gillette dodging, music student wanabees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 Every time I go into town theres some cunt of a teenager with a fuckin' beard, playing an acoustic guitar, probably trying to impress his twat of a girlfriend or get signed up to a recording contract. I'm sick of the cunts, that ginger twat Ed Sheeran has a lot to answer for. What's wrong with a Srat and a 100watt Marshall stack ? That'll blow the whiskers off these namby-pamby, Gillette dodging, music student wanabees. They usually hung around with other piss pots and winos. They all leave pavements smelling very foul. Lazy, useless cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 It's the Guy Garvey effect.Some blob of a 'Joe Everyman' banging out heartfelt missives to the greboes the crusties and the goths from behind a beard the Taleban would thin was a bit 'showy'. But whilst Elbow can produce something majestic and wonderful, 'Provincial Greasebal Plank Spanker' may as well have a sign up saying 'Visionary Poet - PLEASE FUCK ME!!!' So desperate is he to get laid.You catching any of this Brony? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 Round these parts its usually some twat trying to be James Morrison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 These cunts are now no longer limited to park benches, shop doorways and subways thanks to every other formerly half-decent pub now putting on these open fucking mic nights. The last thing I want to hear when unwinding with a pint, is some fucking monotonous faux-cockney spastic cunt with an acoustic guitar, who knows about as many chords as he does words of the English language, singing about his heart being broken when what should be broken is his fingers, shins, ribs and neck. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Rape and buggery 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Rape and buggery Request or offer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Request or offer? An order Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 And they never take a break! Fucking crowing for hours and hours. You walk back three hours later and the cunt is still at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Any cunt remember Badly Drawn Boy? No, thought not... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Any cunt remember Badly Drawn Boy? No, thought not... I do. His hat had a fetid stench that was a cross between Harvey Price's incontinence pants and his slut of a mothers decrepit snatch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 I remember Peter Sarstedt almost packing out the lounge bar of The Crown at Chislehurst during the early nineties. Admission free. He was on for about an hour and opened with "Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)?", ended with it and managed to squeeze it in again twice in the middle. I'm not sure if the gig was scheduled to run longer, but after the fourth rendition there was an awkward silence interrupted by someone yelling, "Give it a fucking rest, you cunt." Give the bloke a break Drew. It must be hard to fill out an hour when you've only written one song that people know. And that was shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 I remember Peter Sarstedt almost packing out the lounge bar of The Crown at Chislehurst during the early nineties. Admission free. He was on for about an hour and opened with "Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)?", ended with it and managed to squeeze it in again twice in the middle. I'm not sure if the gig was scheduled to run longer, but after the fourth rendition there was an awkward silence interrupted by someone yelling, "Give it a fucking rest, you cunt" "... just for a laugh - ha ha ha haaa" ... was there ever a more cuntsworthy lyric ever written and sung like a twat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 "... just for a laugh - ha ha ha haaa" ... was there ever a more cuntsworthy lyric ever written and sung like a twatYou're onto something here, that's for sure.If I could turn back time (see what I did there?) I'd have a word with Joni Mitchell and tell her to drop that fucking 'faux-bass voice-segue-into-stupid-cackle' bit she does in the final chorus of 'Big Yellow Taxi'Proper gets on my tits that does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 "... just for a laugh - ha ha ha haaa" ... was there ever a more cuntsworthy lyric ever written and sung like a twat Sarstedt.... Rhymes with bastard, ha ha haaaa......... I'll get my coat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Barry Ryan..... ELOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEZE! ............ Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Barry Ryan..... ELOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEZE! ............ Cunt. Spot, your language is atrocious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2020 On 19/02/2015 at 15:41, nocti said: Spot, your language is atrocious. And his spelling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 31, 2020 Report Share Posted January 31, 2020 3 hours ago, Joker said: And his spelling! That was... anachronistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuggerLugs Posted January 31, 2020 Report Share Posted January 31, 2020 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: That was... anachronistic. Eric, I've just done dry January, I'm off out on the pish and Mrs. Lugs can't be arsed. This could get very fucking messy. Stand by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 31, 2020 Report Share Posted January 31, 2020 11 minutes ago, BuggerLugs said: Eric, I've just done dry January, I'm off out on the pish and Mrs. Lugs can't be arsed. This could get very fucking messy. Stand by. I remember your 'postcards' from the Mediterranean episode. Now you have no tolerance after 4 weeks abstinence. This should be good. See you when your ban is up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuggerLugs Posted January 31, 2020 Report Share Posted January 31, 2020 7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I remember your 'postcards' from the Mediterranean episode. Now you have no tolerance after 4 weeks abstinence. This should be good. See you when your ban is up. It gets worse. I'm off to Spain again tomorrow. Pissed as a cunt postcards from the.Med. Vol 35 (El rincon de los coños, la película) incoming. Just to stay on topic, I've never had either a beard, nor a guitar and that useless cunt Valdez never did show up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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