Decimus Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 Lenny fuckin Henry is a thick cunt. Well you would be if you fuckin get into bed in the street wouldn't you? I mean, what with pigeons shittin on the cunt's dreaming visage an all, you'd think the thick cunt'd find a hotel from the chain he's advertising. But, a bed on the street clearly gives the pillow-slapper an advantage over all the rest of the red nose Cunty presenters who go kerb crawlin after the show. Lenny can't be that thick, after all. And, why doesn't he have a cuppa before he gets into bed? I'lll tell ya fuckin why. The fuckin tea bags in them hotels he pushes are recycled panty-pads - the piss catcher ones, from pensioners, after they have been piped by their grandsons. And he wears striped pyjamas. Why? Does he actually want to look like a fat tube of bollockin toothpaste, what with really white teeth? I thought you were advertising hotels Len, not fuckin minty Cunty? And, why is the moon never full on the sign? Can't they afford the paint? Fuck me. I'm going back to sleep....AH - FUCK! Lenny has just jumped into my bed and there's a fuckin TV camera and film and sound crew. Bastards! Can't fuckin leave folk alone. Fuck off you cunts. And Lenny - get outa my fuckin sack you puss-filled ass blast. You blithering fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yariman Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 That was fucking appalling - I felt like a cunt for persisting in reading it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 I was watching a bit of telleh myself last night, and switched over 3 times to BBC1 'just to have a look'. I felt like some rubber necking ambulance chaser watching this Carousel of Shite unfurl in front of my disbelieving, appalled eyes. I bore it for a maximum on one minute a time, as you might your brother giving you a Chinese burn, and then had to turn over before it burnt my eyes. I saw Orlando Bloom burst from a stage and no fucker recognised him, including me, so the presenters laboured and laboured the point "Orlando Bloom ladies and gentleman - Orlando Bloom from the films ladies and gentleman". CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 ......and while I'm in moaning mood... that cunt Lenny Henry has modeled his look on Luther which makes me feel like I need a shower when I am perving over Idris Elba. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted March 14, 2015 Report Share Posted March 14, 2015 Clarkson gives these out for free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted March 15, 2015 Report Share Posted March 15, 2015 Lenny Henry is actually hilarious compared with Al Murray , a true cunt of cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Well this is back with us again. Was accosted by a bloke dressed as Superman outside of the local Sainsbury's rattling a bucket. I managed to get round him only to nearly run into a huge fucking column of 'Red nose day' mugs just inside the door. If that column goes the distance without some myopic cunt slamming into them, I'll be fucking surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 On 12/03/2015 at 21:51, judgetwi said: Ok i know it's for good causes. I know nobody forces you to watch rich cunts on the telly telling us poor cunts to give up our money. I geddit ok? But what fucking winds me up is being stuck at work with stupid , unfunny, boring fucking bastards trying desperately to be "wacky" because it's all for charidee. Give me a fucking break please!!! I used to work with this complete bastard who was just like that character in the Fast Show wearing stupid clothes and trying desperately to be funny. RND was a massive event for him. He planned it for months in advance and had 3 or 4 changes of clothing he used throughout the day. Anyway, after about 6 years of this cunt his final Red Nose Day arrived because he was due to retire before the next one. This was going to be his last opportunity to show off to a captive audience without getting smacked in the gob and he was going to make the most of it. It was all he could talk about for weeks. Anyway, the day before he got a phone call telling him his Mum had just dropped dead from a massive heart attack. Obviously he fucked off immediately. Now nobody said anything but we were all thinking...........at least we won't have to put up with the cunt tomorrow........every cloud etc. etc. You probably won't believe this but the next morning he was at the gate , dressed as a FUCKING ANGEL, complete with wings on his back, stopping cars and demanding money for charidee. His next costume was the FUCKING DEVIL! Talk about bad taste! He spent the rest of the day acting the cunt while his poor Mother's corpse was still warm. These sort of cunts need to be shot! I met his wife once and she seemed quite normal so fuck knows how she put up with the wanker 24/7. She must be a fucking saint i reckon. I'd do it Wogan style - £5k in expenses first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 On 14/03/2015 at 09:30, Guest yariman said: That was fucking appalling - I felt like a cunt for persisting in reading it... Oh Yaz, you Tamakeri loving, Hentai fetishist slag. The only woman on here who ever made me laugh. Come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 My dad had a serious alcohol addiction. George Best turned down his liver, but that’s another story. He had the reddest nose imaginable. He never received a fucking farthing from these cunts. The whole thing is a fucking massive ponzy scam. So without wishing to appear uncharitable they can all fuck off and do whatever cunts do after theyve fucked off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Khiwa Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Nothing says "Cunts!" like a bunch of talentless millionaires on primetime tv nagging the general public for their hard earned pittance, then basking in the glory of how much "they" raised. It's just a massive an ego trip for these profile boosting fuckers. Chris Evans is one of the worst. If he's that concerned about supporting Comic Relief, why doesn't he give them £12m instead of spending it on a Ferrari? Fucking hypocrites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 3 minutes ago, King Billy said: My dad had a serious alcohol addiction. George Best turned down his liver, but that’s another story. He had the reddest nose imaginable. He never received a fucking farthing from these cunts. The whole thing is a fucking massive ponzy scam. So without wishing to appear uncharitable they can all fuck off and do whatever cunts do after theyve fucked off. Hardly a revelation. Having you, turned him to drink. Your mother got off lightly. My three, never drank at all. They were too busy doing LSD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Khiwa said: Nothing says "Cunts!" like a bunch of talentless millionaires on primetime tv nagging the general public for their hard earned pittance, then basking in the glory of how much "they" raised. It's just a massive an ego trip for these profile boosting fuckers. Chris Evans is one of the worst. If he's that concerned about supporting Comic Relief, why doesn't he give them £12m instead of spending it on a Ferrari? Fucking hypocrites. You'll notice the home of white middle class privilege and the British class system has dreamt up this mocking jamboree. I think Dirty Den's NHS Lottery is cleaner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day,Red Cock Day I'm calling it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 10 minutes ago, King Billy said: My dad had a serious alcohol addiction. George Best turned down his liver, but that’s another story. He had the reddest nose imaginable. He never received a fucking farthing from these cunts. The whole thing is a fucking massive ponzy scam. So without wishing to appear uncharitable they can all fuck off and do whatever cunts do after theyve fucked off. You know it was a flaming bulbous honk because he picked it incessantly with his freshly cut finger nails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Neil said: My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day,Red Cock Day I'm calling it You could send them a sperm donation just to spread the love Neil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Neil said: My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day,Red Cock Day I'm calling it You'll win, hands down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 And another thing. Last year while my missus was at her mums funeral. I decided to phone up and book a couple of prossies to relieve my feelings of abandonment and betrayal by my so called “soul mate” Imagine my surprise and, to be honest anger, when my name started flashing up on the telly thanking me for my donation towards the local womens refuge. I went down there fucking raging but to no avail. All the birds in there looked a bit fucking battered. One can only assume their pimps were responsible and none of them really did it for me.And to top it all I had to fake a street mugging when she questioned me about the missing money from her credit card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 11 minutes ago, Neil said: My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day,Red Cock Day I'm calling it Hand Relief. You've got something there Neil. Instead of red noses you could have a plastic hand on a spring that moves in a gentle wanking movement. £2 each. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 18 minutes ago, Neil said: My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day,Red Cock Day I'm calling it A charity wankathon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 19 minutes ago, Crab said: You know it was a flaming bulbous honk because he picked it incessantly with his freshly cut finger nails. He had no arms mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Just now, King Billy said: He had no arms mate And before you defile his memory any more mate. Or legs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 23 minutes ago, Neil said: My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day That's nothing new, can't you give it up for Lent, or summat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 27 minutes ago, Neil said: My contribution will be having 6 wanks in a day,Red Cock Day I'm calling it All 6 of your male friends may not be free that day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 A free wank sock with every donation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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