BBC News

[KingRollo]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I think so. Some large German salami with dynamite hidden in the middle. 

Just a thought - do you think 'Allo 'Allo is where Withers learned French?

[KingRollo]

6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I thought it was 'The Fallen Madonna with the large boobies' by Van Klopp! 

That's the one! - I stand corrected

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, KingRollo said:

Just a thought - do you think 'Allo 'Allo is where Withers learned French?

Pink Panther films.

"No, the minkey, do you have a permit for the minkey?"

[Guest judgetwi]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I live in London Wolfman and I have to say I’d probably feel safer if Inspector Clouseau or Herr Flick was the Met Commissioner rather than Cressida ‘bell end’ Dickface.

I hate to tell you this but the next Commissioner WILL be Inspector Clouseau, otherwise known as Assistant Commissioner, Head of Counter Terrorism (😁😁😁) Neil Basu. A box ticker, EU apologist, much favoured by the BBC and the most incompetent fucking copper ever employed anywhere.

Nailed on mate. Get your fucking mortgage on it.

[King Billy]

32 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

He seems upset. It's probably because his bootleg dvds/cds aren't selling.

Rollo, can you cheer him up? 

‘Anal Carnage 12. The fallout’ has been a bit slow off the shelves, so cut the fake posh bender a bit of slack GG.

[camberwell gypsy]

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

Pink Panther films.

"No, the minkey, do you have a permit for the minkey?"

Good moaning! I was just pissing in the street.

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, judgetwi said:

I hate to tell you this but the next Commissioner WILL be Inspector Clouseau, otherwise known as Assistant Commissioner, Head of Counter Terrorism (😁😁😁) Neil Basu. A box ticker, EU apologist, much favoured by the BBC and the most incompetent fucking copper ever employed anywhere.

Nailed on mate. Get your fucking mortgage on it.

Him and Craig Mackey should be executed against the same wall.

[King Billy]

10 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

I hate to tell you this but the next Commissioner WILL be Inspector Clouseau, otherwise known as Assistant Commissioner, Head of Counter Terrorism (😁😁😁) Neil Basu. A box ticker, EU apologist, much favoured by the BBC and the most incompetent fucking copper ever employed anywhere.

Nailed on mate. Get your fucking mortgage on it.

Sorry Judge. Can’t talk right now. The removal van’s just turned up.

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Sorry Judge. Can’t talk right now. The removal van’s just turned up.

Have you noticed that @KingRollo has made it onto the leaderboard? What an eclectic mix. 2 kings, 1 emperor and a frog.

[KingRollo]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Have you noticed that @KingRollo has made it onto the leaderboard? What an eclectic mix. 2 kings, 1 emperor and a frog.

Hadn't clocked it young Eric! Have a like!

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Have you noticed that @KingRollo has made it onto the leaderboard? What an eclectic mix. 2 kings, 1 emperor and a frog.

Out of likes. IOU

[Last Cunt Standing]

49 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

I hate to tell you this but the next Commissioner WILL be Inspector Clouseau, otherwise known as Assistant Commissioner, Head of Counter Terrorism (😁😁😁) Neil Basu. A box ticker, EU apologist, much favoured by the BBC and the most incompetent fucking copper ever employed anywhere.

Nailed on mate. Get your fucking mortgage on it.

Really? I heard Ian Hopkins had been tapped up for it as an external appointment and he’s keen to top up his pension for a couple of years. I’m sure you’ll thoroughly approve of his CV. These people aren’t Coppers any more, they are administrators. 

https://www.gmp.police.uk/police-forces/greater-manchester-police/areas/greater

[Eric Cuntman]

3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Really? I heard Ian Hopkins had been tapped up for it as an external appointment and he’s keen to top up his pension for a couple of years. I’m sure you’ll thoroughly approve of his CV. These people aren’t Coppers any more, they are administrators. 

https://www.gmp.police.uk/police-forces/greater-manchester-police/areas/greater

I quite like you LCS. Although not in a gay, bum penetrating kind of way. So fuck off if you fancied your chances.

just saying.

[Guest judgetwi]

8 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Really? I heard Ian Hopkins had been tapped up for it as an external appointment and he’s keen to top up his pension for a couple of years. I’m sure you’ll thoroughly approve of his CV. These people aren’t Coppers any more, they are administrators. 

https://www.gmp.police.uk/police-forces/greater-manchester-police/areas/greater

A cracking CV Bertie Boy.

Peacefuls noncing under age girls all over Greater Manchester......Ian cries.

Peacefuls blow up little girls at a pop concert......Ian sobs.

Illegal street parties all over Manchester.......Ian is “disgusted” and weeps like a girl.

Sounds ideal. Ian and Suckdick Khunt should get on like a house on fire. Trouble is, he’s a bit white isn’t he? Is he a Gaylord, because that would definitely help. 

However, Neil has a lot of friends at the Guardian and the BBC and they would be well pissed off if Neil is overlooked. There may well be cries of raaaaaay-sism and we wouldn’t want that would we?

You may be right Bertie but it would require Jellyfish Johnson and Bullshitter Patel to grow a pair overnight and I haven’t seen much evidence of that happening. I just wish I could get down William Hill and get a bet on the next Commissioner to be a useless, lazy, politically correct, arselicking piece of shit. Sadly, they’re not in the business of giving money away. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I quite like you LCS. Although not in a gay, bum penetrating kind of way. So fuck off if you fancied your chances.

just saying.

That silver tongue of yours would possibly be worth a few quid on the Antiques Roadshow, currently invading my living room via the ABC. The current Mrs LCS is oddly addicted to Eric Knowles, but he’s the only Eric allowed in our house. Pickles, Morecambe, Cantona and Clapton are all on the banned list and sadly now so are you. But thanks anyway. 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

That silver tongue of yours would possibly be worth a few quid on the Antiques Roadshow, currently invading my living room via the ABC. The current Mrs LCS is oddly addicted to Eric Knowles, but he’s the only Eric allowed in our house. Pickles, Morecambe, Cantona and Clapton are all on the banned list and sadly now so are you. But thanks anyway. 

I'm the best Eric. Mrs LCS opinion can go fuck itself. She's clearly deluded.

[King Billy]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm the best Eric. Mrs LCS opinion can go fuck itself. She's clearly deluded.

Bloody Sheilas.

[Last Cunt Standing]

34 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

A cracking CV Bertie Boy.

Peacefuls noncing under age girls all over Greater Manchester......Ian cries.

Peacefuls blow up little girls at a pop concert......Ian sobs.

Illegal street parties all over Manchester.......Ian is “disgusted” and weeps like a girl.

Sounds ideal. Ian and Suckdick Khunt should get on like a house on fire. Trouble is, he’s a bit white isn’t he? Is he a Gaylord, because that would definitely help. 

However, Neil has a lot of friends at the Guardian and the BBC and they would be well pissed off if Neil is overlooked. There may well be cries of raaaaaay-sism and we wouldn’t want that would we?

You may be right Bertie but it would require Jellyfish Johnson and Bullshitter Patel to grow a pair overnight and I haven’t seen much evidence of that happening. I just wish I could get down William Hill and get a bet on the next Commissioner to be a useless, lazy, politically correct, arselicking piece of shit. Sadly, they’re not in the business of giving money away. 

I thought he’d be your cup of tea Judge, especially that bit about him leading expeditions to help Ethiopian street kids. If they let you on the appointments panel, and if there’s any justice they will, I hope it’s televised. There’s quite a few ex UK plod here in Oz, very few with much nice to say about the job of policing UK streets. You do sometimes look around the expats here and wonder who is left to run things over there. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm the best Eric. Mrs LCS opinion can go fuck itself. She's clearly deluded.

I’d tell her, but she’s currently enthralled by a middle aged woman in a floral print waxing lyrical about a coffee table. It’s ghastly. £1500 though. I only let her watch as she’ll be out to work tomorrow while I devote a good hour to arranging my socks. 

[Eric Cuntman]

10 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’d tell her, but she’s currently enthralled by a middle aged woman in a floral print waxing lyrical about a coffee table. It’s ghastly. £1500 though. I only let her watch as she’ll be out to work tomorrow while I devote a good hour to arranging my socks. 

I'm good at socks. I can do that thing where you fold them together into pairs. I'm fucking awesome.

[King Billy]

5 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’d tell her, but she’s currently enthralled by a middle aged woman in a floral print waxing lyrical about a coffee table. It’s ghastly. £1500 though. I only let her watch as she’ll be out to work tomorrow while I devote a good hour to arranging my socks. 

Is an hour in Oz the same length of time as here? Only my daughter used to watch Home and Away every fucking day and it seemed as if it was about 3 hours long. When I found out it was only 1/2 hour I exclaimed “Well I’ll be fucked.”very quietly to myself and went upstairs for a Jimmy White.

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm good at socks. I can do that thing where you fold them together into pairs. I'm fucking awesome.

Fucking science...easy.

[Last Cunt Standing]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm good at socks. I can do that thing where you fold them together into pairs. I'm fucking awesome.

Building up to that Eric. I’m still at the rolled-ball stage but have my viva for folding into pairs later in the week. The 60 minute multiple-choice paper on changing a king size duvet unaided is frankly a bit daunting and I keep putting that off. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

31 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Is an hour in Oz the same length of time as here? Only my daughter used to watch Home and Away every fucking day and it seemed as if it was about 3 hours long. When I found out it was only 1/2 hour I exclaimed “Well I’ll be fucked.”very quietly to myself and went upstairs for a Jimmy White.

I’m sure there’s an atomic clock somewhere keeping us in check Bill, but it does seem amazing to me how much I can get done in a day these days, without all those pesky interruptions every ten minutes. Channel Seven’s Home and Away is for retards. Nobody I know here watches it and it’s generally regarded as a parody. Especially Alf, who pops up on the ads occasionally banging out a vibration plate supposed to help your circulation. A poor man’s Ken Barlow, he gets two fingers rampant in our house. 

[Eric Cuntman]

8 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’m sure there’s an atomic clock somewhere keeping us in check Bill, but it does seem amazing to me how much I can get done in a day these days, without all those pesky interruptions every ten minutes. Channel Seven’s Home and Away is for retards. Nobody I know here watches it and it’s generally regarded as a parody. Especially Alf, who pops up on the ads occasionally banging out a vibration plate supposed to help your circulation. A poor man’s Ken Barlow, he gets two fingers rampant in our house. 

Alf was ok as a Melbourne gangster in 'Prisoner Cell Block H'