Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 1 minute ago, Bubba C said: You misspelt “mispelt”. Are you a norn Irish-jock mongrel retard? Don’t quibble over details. It makes you appear womanly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 Just now, Bubba C said: You misspelt “mispelt”. Are you a norn Irish-jock mongrel retard? The worst type. An angry prod trying to be more jock than liver disease. The Orange Order marching cunt makes me sick. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 Just now, Decimus said: The worst type. An angry prod trying to be more jock than liver disease. The Orange Order marching cunt makes me sick. Fill my tractor up with half price green diesel, you euro/Stirling constantly preferring cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Bubba C said: I’ve got a dick (mine, for avoidance of faggoty doubt) that needs sucking. You in? If he was in need of a toothpick, he'd use one of his own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 (edited) Clique. Delicate mutual masturbation. I'm fucking blessed to be a privateer. Edited September 27, 2018 by Eric Cuntman Decs, How do u tolerate these queers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 29, 2018 Report Share Posted September 29, 2018 On 9/23/2018 at 2:44 PM, Frank said: Apart from Alf, the lot of you make me fucking sick. I’m leaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2018 When I asked my nine year old why he was so upset, he replied that his teacher had called me a bad parent. "Finish your pint" I said, "and we'll go and have it out with him." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2018 Just been watching the news, and apparently police are holding three men over a fire in West London. Bit harsh, I wonder what they've done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 29, 2018 Report Share Posted September 29, 2018 26 minutes ago, scotty said: Just been watching the news, and apparently police are holding three men over a fire in West London. Bit harsh, I wonder what they've done. Its a rather common police tactic to turn up the heat on criminals to get a confession, Scotto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 29, 2018 Report Share Posted September 29, 2018 47 minutes ago, scotty said: Just been watching the news, and apparently police are holding three men over a fire in West London. Bit harsh, I wonder what they've done. They usually grill suspects 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: They usually grill suspects Consider that nicked gypps 👍 (stealing from a gypsy, oh the irony) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 an abortion walks into a bar. "You're a bit early aren't you?" said the barman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 Panza walks up to the Bar, with dog-shit in is hand... "Oi, Barman!" he shouts, "THIS, was on your doorstep, I almost tripped over" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 Little Tommy turns up 3 hours late for school. His teacher asks; "why so late?" "I'm sorry miss, my dad got badly burned this morning" "oh, I'm so sorry Tommy, I hope he's going to be ok." "afraid not miss... they don't fuck about at the crematorium." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 I went to the Islamic Wedding Show at Olympia last week. There wasn’t much to see..... just a load of bin bags and pairs of handcuffs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Queefer Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 1 hour ago, judgetwi said: I went to the Islamic Wedding Show at Olympia last week. There wasn’t much to see..... just a load of bin bags and pairs of handcuffs. Mainly 9 year old brides with walking difficulties caused by FGM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 58 minutes ago, Queefer said: Mainly 9 year old brides with walking difficulties caused by FGM ........or possibly the Kalashnikovs strapped to their inside legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 30, 2018 Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 Bro' Darkie, goes to speak with his Dr. "Me 'elmit has dropped-off me dick, in it" He tells his doc., whilst adding, "me got it in me pocket fer ya to stitch it back on." Bro' D, pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, and unfolds it to show his Dr. "THAT's no helmet" says his Dr, "THAT's a Walnut-Whip!" "Nahhh, me et dat in de waitin' room" he replies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 5, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 I organise a special quiz night at the local hospice. It's like a regular quiz, but the teams have a subs bench. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 5, 2018 Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 I was standing in queue at the bank when a sweet soft spoken old lady asked if I would assist her in checking her balance. I pushed her and she fell over, so I told her it wasn't very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 6, 2018 Report Share Posted October 6, 2018 23 hours ago, scotty said: I organise a special quiz night at the local hospice. It's like a regular quiz, but the teams have a subs bench. You'll be in need of some questions then, for future quizzes... Q. Old timer, answer the following as best able to with a pen: You've had your life. You're on the verge of complete darkness. How do you want me to snuff you out? a) Cyanide capsule b) Nil by mouth c) Get it over with quickly and club me death d) Show me Franks avatar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 6, 2018 Report Share Posted October 6, 2018 18 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: I was standing in queue at the bank when a sweet soft spoken old lady asked if I would assist her in checking her balance. I pushed her and she fell over, so I told her it wasn't very good. I was with an oldy. She was gasping her last breaths. "I've only got 3 last minutes of life left in me, promise me you'll do me one final thing I beseech you" she gasped. I boiled the old bitch an egg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2018 41 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: You'll be in need of some questions then, for future quizzes... Q. Old timer, answer the following as best able to with a pen: You've had your life. You're on the verge of complete darkness. How do you want me to snuff you out? a) Cyanide capsule b) Nil by mouth c) Get it over with quickly and club me death d) Show me Franks avatar. There's only 24 hours in a day and an endless queue of geriatrics requiring my services 'eavens, efficiency is my watchword. I don't squander valuable injecting time on petty consent forms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted October 6, 2018 Report Share Posted October 6, 2018 9 hours ago, scotty said: There's only 24 hours in a day and an endless queue of geriatrics requiring my services 'eavens, efficiency is my watchword. I don't squander valuable injecting time on petty consent forms. You've got be kind-of nice to 'em Scotto, at least whilst they sign along the dotted line upon their Last Will & Testament. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted October 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2018 First rule of Fight Club.... Never hold it in the Saudi embassy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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