scotty Posted July 27, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2019 After committing a rape, I always carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop me running if I'm carrying a fire extinguisher. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 27, 2019 Report Share Posted July 27, 2019 1 hour ago, scotty said: After committing a rape, I always carry a fire extinguisher. No one will stop me running if I'm carrying a fire extinguisher. That depends .. if its a big fucking fire extinguisher you will need to have had physical training to run more than a minute of two with it and if its one those little fuckers no one will notice .. far better to carry a few dud grenades or a small package marked SEMTEX as no fucker will dare go near you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 27, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2019 10 hours ago, Glowworm said: That depends .. if its a big fucking fire extinguisher you will need to have had physical training to run more than a minute of two with it and if its one those little fuckers no one will notice .. far better to carry a few dud grenades or a small package marked SEMTEX as no fucker will dare go near you. While that is probably true, I rather doubt that the joke would work quite as well if "fire extinguisher" was replaced with "small package marked SEMTEX". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 27, 2019 Report Share Posted July 27, 2019 9 minutes ago, scotty said: While that is probably true, I rather doubt that the joke would work quite as well if "fire extinguisher" was replaced with "small package marked SEMTEX". I have to admit that I did have a vision of a certain bearded doctor running with a fire extinguisher. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted July 28, 2019 Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 A Catholic priest and a choirboy are walking through the woods. The boy says ,”it’ll be dark soon Father, it’s getting a bit scary.” The priest says “you’re scared? I’ve gotta walk back on my own.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Salty Piss Flap Posted July 28, 2019 Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 Two necrophiliacs were walking past the city mortuary. Said one to the other..."Fancy stopping in for a cold one?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 28, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 9 hours ago, Glowworm said: I have to admit that I did have a vision of a certain bearded doctor running with a fire extinguisher. Perhaps he'd never have got caught pen, if he'd followed that advice. And we wouldn't be facing the population crisis now upon us. 🤔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 28, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 A girl I know was sexually assaulted by a troupe of mime artists last night. They did unspeakable things to her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 28, 2019 Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 1 hour ago, scotty said: Perhaps he'd never have got caught pen, if he'd followed that advice. And we wouldn't be facing the population crisis now upon us. 🤔 He was working on the wrong age group so far as I can see the only group that really gained anything were the pension funds of the old biddies usually expired husbands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 28, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 23 minutes ago, Glowworm said: He was working on the wrong age group so far as I can see the only group that really gained anything were the pension funds of the old biddies usually expired husbands. In terms of collective productivity, end of life culling makes far more sense than the oft-repeated mantra of needing another war. Shipman was ahead of his time, in a few decades when the planet is burning he'll be hailed as a visionary. Hospitals will have euthanasia wards named after him and doctors will have to sport Shipman/Kelly style beards. (Even the women.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 28, 2019 Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 Just now, scotty said: In terms of collective productivity, end of life culling makes far more sense than the oft-repeated mantra of needing another war. Shipman was ahead of his time, in a few decades when the planet is burning he'll be hailed as a visionary. Hospitals will have euthanasia wards named after him, and all doctors will have to sport Shipman/Kelly style beards. I was thinking more of killing them before they have the chance to reproduce .. it is still end of life care whatever age you kill them at. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 28, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 2 minutes ago, Glowworm said: I was thinking more of killing them before they have the chance to reproduce .. it is still end of life care whatever age you kill them at. Fair point, if a tad pedantic. We don't necessarily need to stop reproduction, although it desperately needs to be slowed, but I reckon by about 65 or 70 the morphine should be singing it's siren call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 28, 2019 Report Share Posted July 28, 2019 14 hours ago, scotty said: Fair point, if a tad pedantic. We don't necessarily need to stop reproduction, although it desperately needs to be slowed, but I reckon by about 65 or 70 the morphine should be singing it's siren call. I have been looking some of the samples in the 18 to 50 age group. All too many of them both male and female are covering themselves with tattoos, what the fuck is going on? Covering themselves with tattoos is what savages do. These cunts need to be exterminated. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 21 hours ago, Glowworm said: I have been looking some of the samples in the 18 to 50 age group. All too many of them both male and female are covering themselves with tattoos, what the fuck is going on? Covering themselves with tattoos is what savages do. These cunts need to be exterminated. Or sent to live in Norfolk. Given a choice, I suspect most would opt for the former. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 27 minutes ago, King Billy said: Or sent to live in Norfolk. Given a choice, I suspect most would opt for the former. I would happy for them to go to Norfolk just so long as they keep walking when they reach Yarmouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 Something else that seems to have become frequent with late teens/early twenties women is the practice of covering the backs of their hands with tattoos all the way to the base of the fingers. Quite bewildering that they disfigure themselves so visibly in this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 2 minutes ago, Glowworm said: Something else that seems to have become frequent with late teens/early twenties women is that practice covering the backs of their hands with tattoos all the way to the base of the fingers. Quite bewildering that they disfigure themselves so visibly in this way. Usually to deflect the eye from the mind bogglingly hideous faces they invariably have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 37 minutes ago, King Billy said: Usually to deflect the eye from the mind bogglingly hideous faces they invariably have. That used to be what was happening but these days the issue is affect the prettier ones too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 4 hours ago, Glowworm said: That used to be what was happening but these days the issue is affect the prettier ones too They're saving space elsewhere on their bodies for the pictorial and literary tributes to the 14 brown kids, by 70 potential fathers, that they will inevitably spit out of their Mackerel satchel in the future. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 29, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 46 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: They're saving space elsewhere on their bodies for the pictorial and literary tributes to the 14 brown kids, by 70 potential fathers, that they will inevitably spit out of their Mackerel satchel in the future. "mackerel satchel", ffs eric 😄😄😄😄😄 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 1 minute ago, scotty said: "mackerel satchel", ffs eric 😄😄😄😄😄 I was torn between that and 'cod-clamp'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 29, 2019 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 35 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I was torn between that and 'cod-clamp'. So, what tipped the scales? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 29, 2019 Report Share Posted July 29, 2019 10 minutes ago, scotty said: So, what tipped the scales? I saw what you did there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted August 6, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 My missus is insisting I quit my job because she thinks it’s cruel we’ve started testing our new products on rabbits. I suppose she’s got a point, I work in a hammer factory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 51 minutes ago, scotty said: My missus is insisting I quit my job because she thinks it’s cruel we’ve started testing our new products on rabbits. I suppose she’s got a point, I work in a hammer factory. Is it them what do the hammer horror films? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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