Guest Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 After a tug one morning I stared straight at the sun and now I'm blind as a post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Did you use your avatar as a muse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 He'll never divorce Miss Right... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 You seem to be developing a habbit for needing advice from our local resident wanker, this really is his field of specialty so over to you Bronski. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 I usually wear sunglasses during my masturbationary sessions, along with a black lace dress and a pair of 'fuck me' high heels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 I usually wear sunglasses during my masturbationary sessions, along with a black lace dress and a pair of 'fuck me' high heels. Are you sure about this? You missed out the jaffa. (My mother's 86 by the way) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Mentioned in the song 'Give Peace A Chance' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Mentioned in the song 'Give Peace A Chance' You should be thinking less about masturbation, and more about that girl at work..................unless you're doing both.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 You should be thinking less about masturbation, and more about that girl at work..................unless you're doing both.... I am clutching at straws on that one and like an idiot have paid for the upgrade on the dating site, should have saved my money really, I am the king of wishful thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Fuck that for a game of jihadis, apple. Grab that bint at work, take her to Wetherspoons for a carvery lunch and a pint, then fuck the shit out of her. We're rooting for you. Get back to us and tell us how you get on. Steer clear of the cranberry sauce, though..unless you smear it over her tits. If so, a picture or two wouldn't go amiss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted August 14, 2014 Report Share Posted August 14, 2014 Fuck that for a game of jihadis, apple. Grab that bint at work, take her to Wetherspoons for a carvery lunch and a pint, then fuck the shit out of her. We're rooting for you. Get back to us and tell us how you get on. Steer clear of the cranberry sauce, though..unless you smear it over her tits. If so, a picture or two wouldn't go amiss.If he uses the tartar he could do some bragging afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 A friend of mine does the internet dating game, and he is always shagging, have you met anyone of the site yet? I have more chance of going to the moon, there are women on there that were on there a year so that must say something about their character and ambition, some if not all are like trying to communicate with people from the dark ages. If aliens came to this planet looking for intelligent life the last thing they will do is log on to the site I use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 Fuck that for a game of jihadis, apple. Grab that bint at work, take her to Wetherspoons for a carvery lunch and a pint, then fuck the shit out of her. We're rooting for you. Get back to us and tell us how you get on. Steer clear of the cranberry sauce, though..unless you smear it over her tits. If so, a picture or two wouldn't go amiss. If I asked her she wouldn't say yes and then I would have to avoid her like the plague and if it leaked out It might cost me my job which would then cost me a house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 If I asked her she wouldn't say yes and then I would have to avoid her like the plague and if it leaked out It might cost me my job which would then cost me a house. I don't understand - why would asking her out cost you your job - are you a teacher ? Care worker in an old folks home ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 A friend of mine does the internet dating game, and he is always shagging, have you met anyone of the site yet? I'm shocked, shocked to hear of this behaviour. How anyone would want to meet up with someone from Internet discourse alone baffles me. Unless they have big tits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 16, 2014 Report Share Posted August 16, 2014 I don't understand - why would asking her out cost you your job - are you a teacher ? Care worker in an old folks home ? It is the knock on effect it could have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 I don't understand - why would asking her out cost you your job - are you a teacher ? Care worker in an old folks home ? It would be like asking India to follow on in their own backyard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 It is the knock on effect it could have. You have to give us more info - is she the boss's wife ? You could always go back to being a tradesman ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 You have to give us more info - is she the boss's wife ? You could always go back to being a tradesman ? No nothing like that, it is just plain to see it's never going to happen. It is like trying to start a car that hasn't got an engine. Same old, same old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 25, 2014 Report Share Posted November 25, 2014 One of the fit birds at work has given her notice. I'm quite upset. Back to scanning the hidden cameras in the ladies, then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 Back to scanning the hidden cameras in the ladies, then? Shut your trap cunt wagon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scabies Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 juss fuckd er gutz owt @ sofa an she fart on wite cuvva lyke marsbars HAHA y wank fuckers get err bend ass up wop it in HAHA sooo funee fuckers kill me HAHA no womans no crys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scabies Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 6 kids mak slak ass HAHA fuckers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 juss fuckd er gutz owt @ sofa an she fart on wite cuvva lyke marsbars HAHA y wank fuckers get err bend ass up wop it in HAHA sooo funee fuckers kill me HAHA no womans no crys I wish I'd said that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 26, 2014 Report Share Posted November 26, 2014 I wish I'd said that. You will, Oscar, you will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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