Guest N/A Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 So the fucking clue is in the name although it is a jolly jape and play on the word "quick" or have they chosen to call themselves "kwik" so as to avoid trade descriptions? Took my black mans wheel 3 series to KF as had a slow puncture that became a flat. Not a rare car by any stretch of the imagination, not like it's a Fraiser Nash or a Lamborghini Muira Sv right hand drive with gold wheels and sunburst red body Fucking chimp tells me my tyre not in stock and it will be 2 days to get one in!!! Now bmw in their fucking nazi Germany wisdom do not provide a spare wheel anymore, they have a pump and some gel to seal a puncture.....but the tyre is off the rim. Fucking useless. So chimp says do you want a taxi...and I say no I want a fucking tyre ! And Kwik...like the fucking shop name says !!! Two other monkeys step into the shop cabin and get all giddy.....I remind them of the master servant relationship....and they remind me they have no fucking tyres in a fucking tyre shop.......I call them cunts. One of the chimps takes umbrage at being cunted and tries to make a move but meets with my fucking raging annoyance. I hobble round the corner to Abduls Tyres they have lots of my tyres in stock. Don't believe that fucking wank advert on the telly.....KW are fucking useless mongs and a right set of jumpy cunts who all need a fucking car jack to fail and drop a 2 tonne rusty Range Rover on their heads. Proper useless cunts and not a GCSE amongst them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 (edited) Range rovers use aluminium body panels and therefore don't rust. Shit nom. by the way which ultimately demonstrates what a moron you are as most sensible people would pre book an appointment for a slow puncture which would then give the garage an opportunity to check stock was available. 2/10 for lack of effort. Typical BMW driver, can't see beyond the bonnet of the car. Edited May 19, 2016 by Drew P Pissflaps fatty fingers and sticky keyboard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 "Hello, I would like to book an appointment for a slow puncture. No, I haven't got one yet but Pissflaps said should be sensible. OK, thanks, I will drive over a nail on Sunday" is Droopy a spacker? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 3 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Range rovers use aluminium body panels and therefore don't rust. As the saying goes, if you want to drive into the desert, drive a Range Rover, if you want to come back, drive a Land Cruiser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 48 minutes ago, Manky said: "Hello, I would like to book an appointment for a slow puncture. No, I haven't got one yet but Pissflaps said should be sensible. OK, thanks, I will drive over a nail on Sunday" is Droopy a spacker? If you re-read the post Monumental Fuck Knuckle said he knew he had a slow puncture but was somehow surprised when it did finally turn into a flat. Put some fucking air in and book an appointment you useless fucking Northern shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 KwikFit are a bunch of cunts though for replacing tyres when a simple repair will do. Robbing bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 29 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: If you re-read the post Monumental Fuck Knuckle said he knew he had a slow puncture but was somehow surprised when it did finally turn into a flat. Put some fucking air in and book an appointment you useless fucking Northern shite. Why let the facts get in the way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 15 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: KwikFit are a bunch of cunts though for replacing tyres when a simple repair will do. Robbing bastards. What the fuck do you know about cars? You're a girl aren't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 35 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: KwikFit are a bunch of cunts though for replacing tyres when a simple repair will do. Robbing bastards. Just let your husband get it fixed love, there's a good girl. Every mechanic in every garage will froth at the wallet when a bird drives in, then froth at the cock after ripping her off if she's halfway fuckable. It's a basic law of nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 41 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: What the fuck do you know about cars? You're a girl aren't you? They put crumple zones in cars for a good reason and women use them. Sometimes Wahabi Clerics have the right idea. Stick a bag on their heads and don't let the cunts drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: KwikFit are a bunch of cunts though for replacing tyres when a simple repair will do. Robbing bastards. Too right, often the local Pop & Son outfit supply tyres more cheaply as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 46 minutes ago, Manky said: They put crumple zones in cars for a good reason and women use them. Sometimes Wahabi Clerics have the right idea. Stick a bag on their heads and don't let the cunts drive. On your bike Manky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: What the fuck do you know about cars? You're a girl aren't you? Didn't spend 8 years drag racing and learn nothing Drew. Reciprocating gudgeon pins an all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 1 hour ago, scotty said: Just let your husband get it fixed love, there's a good girl. Every mechanic in every garage will froth at the wallet when a bird drives in, then froth at the cock after ripping her off if she's halfway fuckable. It's a basic law of nature. The last mechanic to service my car didn't look old enough to have dropped his bollocks let alone know what his cock is for apart from pissing in a potty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 21 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: On your bike Manky My bitch detector says there are too many women on the roads at this time. I'll just wait till later when they are all at home watching Loose Women and making menfolks tea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 You mean they didn't break out into some godawful Dick Van Dyke pastiche of a song and dance routine about you not being able to 'get better than a Kwik Fit Fitter....with the fucking big lie of a pay off line.... 'we're the boys to trust!' No jazz hands - no business! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 33 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: DIdn't spend 8 years drag racing a d learn nothing Drew. Reciprocating gudgeon pins an all. Lewis Hamilton drives F1 cars but i wouldn't trust him to fill my washer bottle on my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 31 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: The last mechanic to service my car didn't look old enough to have dropped his bollocks let alone know what his cock is for apart from pissing in a potty. Out of interest, why did you let him service your car then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 14 minutes ago, scotty said: Out of interest, why did you let him service your car then? It was bob-a-job week 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 40 minutes ago, Manky said: My bitch detector says there are too many women on the roads at this time. I'll just wait till later when they are all at home watching Loose Women and making menfolks tea. I don't do either Mank, as both activities are a complete waste of time. The last time I prepared poisoned mushrooms for him, he refused to eat them. Ungrateful cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 58 minutes ago, scotty said: Out of interest, why did you let him service your car then? Coz I'm too old and can't be arsed to do it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 I always go to "Traveller Tom's" round the corner for my tyres. Its the same with Halfords. I took my car for its MOT there because they're 15 quid cheaper. It failed because of the rear brake light bulb was faulty and needed a new one. So I asked them to change it, only to be told they dont stock light bulbs. Its Halfords for fuck sake. So I said I'd go to Halfords 4 miles away, get them to install it and bring it back. Which I did, only to be told to come back at 3.30 next day to inspect it. Told them to boil their heads and I wouldn't move until they did it there and then. Wankers. Next time I'll take it "Dodgy Dennis" for its MOT. Only takes 10 minutes there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 11 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: So the fucking clue is in the name although it is a jolly jape and play on the word "quick" or have they chosen to call themselves "kwik" so as to avoid trade descriptions? Took my black mans wheel 3 series to KF as had a slow puncture that became a flat. Not a rare car by any stretch of the imagination, not like it's a Fraiser Nash or a Lamborghini Muira Sv right hand drive with gold wheels and sunburst red body Fucking chimp tells me my tyre not in stock and it will be 2 days to get one in!!! Now bmw in their fucking nazi Germany wisdom do not provide a spare wheel anymore, they have a pump and some gel to seal a puncture.....but the tyre is off the rim. Fucking useless. So chimp says do you want a taxi...and I say no I want a fucking tyre ! And Kwik...like the fucking shop name says !!! Two other monkeys step into the shop cabin and get all giddy.....I remind them of the master servant relationship....and they remind me they have no fucking tyres in a fucking tyre shop.......I call them cunts. One of the chimps takes umbrage at being cunted and tries to make a move but meets with my fucking raging annoyance. I hobble round the corner to Abduls Tyres they have lots of my tyres in stock. Don't believe that fucking wank advert on the telly.....KW are fucking useless mongs and a right set of jumpy cunts who all need a fucking car jack to fail and drop a 2 tonne rusty Range Rover on their heads. Proper useless cunts and not a GCSE amongst them. What a load of boring bollocks. Why don't you join ISIS ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 37 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: Coz I'm too old and can't be arsed to do it myself. I meant, why didn't you take it to another garage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 32 minutes ago, Punkape said: What a load of boring bollocks. Why don't you join ISIS ? Do ISIS do MOTs? I might go there then. They may be in Peckham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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