England Cricket Cuntbreeds

[Ape™️]

2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Have faith brother, remember the Aussies are very, very shit. Take Warner, Smith and Strac out and there not much else. We however, have some quality fast bowlers, looks like we finally found a top 3. I'd move Bairstow up to 6 and play Buttler as keeper-he's far to good a player to leave out, look at what de kock does for the saffas and Mcullum did. Moeen needs to grow a pair though if he's batting at 5. How about this:

Cook, Hameed, Jennings, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Woakes, Broad, Anderson

Fucking right, and don't forget Davis, Hendry and Parrot.

[Jake The Muss]

On 2/17/2017 at 8:42 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

Have faith brother, remember the Aussies are very, very shit. Take Warner, Smith and Strac out and there not much else. We however, have some quality fast bowlers, looks like we finally found a top 3. I'd move Bairstow up to 6 and play Buttler as keeper-he's far to good a player to leave out, look at what de kock does for the saffas and Mcullum did. Moeen needs to grow a pair though if he's batting at 5. How about this:

Cook, Hameed, Jennings, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Woakes, Broad, Anderson

Yeah, can't argue too much with that line up, but maybe swap Hameed to three and have Jennings opening with Cook. Broad for captain for me as he is an aggressive player, hopefully Root's batting doesn't suffer as he is England's top batsman.

[Jake The Muss]

On 2/17/2017 at 8:47 PM, Ape said:

Fucking right, and don't forget Davis, Hendry and Parrot.

Would that be Joe Davis..?

[camberwell gypsy]

On 17/02/2017 at 8:47 PM, Ape said:

Fucking right, and don't forget Davis, Hendry and Parrot.

Or Peter, Paul and Mary 

[Eric Cuntman]

9 hours ago, Fender777 said:

Would that be Joe Davis..?

That cunt had an easy route to legend status. Won the world title twenty odd times, but in that era there were only half a dozen pro snooker players and they were fat old men bumbling around with pints of Guinness. Ray Reardon was the first truly professional player, Alex Higgins had phenomenal talent but alcohol prevented him from realising his potential. Along came Davis and Hendry, and then O'Sullivan who is without doubt the Greatest ever to wield a leather tipped broom handle.

[Stubby Pecker]

13 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That cunt had an easy route to legend status. Won the world title twenty odd times, but in that era there were only half a dozen pro snooker players and they were fat old men bumbling around with pints of Guinness. Ray Reardon was the first truly professional player, Alex Higgins had phenomenal talent but alcohol prevented him from realising his potential. Along came Davis and Hendry, and then O'Sullivan who is without doubt the Greatest ever to wield a leather tipped broom handle.

Agreed. 

I'm also pretty sure you're the greatest to wield a felching stool with combined anal dildo 

[Eric Cuntman]

56 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Agreed. 

I'm also pretty sure you're the greatest to wield a felching stool with combined anal dildo 

We all have to be good at something. I'm just chuffed to get the recognition!

[Stubby Pecker]

15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

We all have to be good at something. I'm just chuffed to get the recognition!

Everyone's got to have a hobby old bean

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That cunt had an easy route to legend status. Won the world title twenty odd times, but in that era there were only half a dozen pro snooker players and they were fat old men bumbling around with pints of Guinness. Ray Reardon was the first truly professional player, Alex Higgins had phenomenal talent but alcohol prevented him from realising his potential. Along came Davis and Hendry, and then O'Sullivan who is without doubt the Greatest ever to wield a leather tipped broom handle.

Absolutely spot-on, Eric. These days I miss Michaela Tabb, who did much to promote the women's side of snooker. I know she was fond of players sinking the pink before a deep-screw for the brown.  

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

Absolutely spot-on, Eric. These days I miss Michaela Tabb, who did much to promote the women's side of snooker. I know she was fond of players sinking the pink before a deep-screw for the brown.  

Michaela is a fucking scots minx and I miss greatly her bending over to replace the blue, and her calling out the score of 69 in that accent.

[applescruff14]

On 17/02/2017 at 8:42 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

Have faith brother, remember the Aussies are very, very shit. Take Warner, Smith and Strac out and there not much else. We however, have some quality fast bowlers, looks like we finally found a top 3. I'd move Bairstow up to 6 and play Buttler as keeper-he's far to good a player to leave out, look at what de kock does for the saffas and Mcullum did. Moeen needs to grow a pair though if he's batting at 5. How about this:

Cook, Hameed, Jennings, Root, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Moeen, Woakes, Broad, Anderson

I don't think that 11 will win us the Ashes, Australia will rip that team apart.

If England do pull it off I have to go to work in my pants, will not go back on my word either but it's unlikely I'm going to be there then anyway.

[applescruff14]

On 20/02/2017 at 2:17 AM, Fender777 said:

Yeah, can't argue too much with that line up, but maybe swap Hameed to three and have Jennings opening with Cook. Broad for captain for me as he is an aggressive player, hopefully Root's batting doesn't suffer as he is England's top batsman.

I have to go work in my pants if England win the Ashes in Australia ?? 

[Wolfie]

4 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

If England do pull it off I have to go to work in my pants, will not go back on my word either but it's unlikely I'm going to be there then anyway.

While on the subject of pulling things off, have you considered wanking yourself into an early grave, so we no longer have to suffer the monotony of your posts?

[nocti]

4 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

I have to go work in my pants if England win the Ashes in Australia ?? 

Hardly an embarrassing forfeit when bleaching public toilets on a night shift. If anything you'll blend in.

[applescruff14]

On 13/02/2017 at 10:13 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

I would have made Broad captain as he's unlikely to play much more ODI stuff ever again, seems still to be a real force with the ball, if not a match winner with every spell but solid and miserly (maidens=wickets). Wether he has a good cricket brain, a couldn't comment, but Root plays all three forms, should be captain for a long time, but not now. If he stops consistently scoring there's no other go to men in the middle order. Hammed and Jennings look pretty good but they ain't going to play 20 tests before the first conker at the Gabba. Unfortunately we've got to hope the Aussies are still selecting shit players come November. 

We certainly let SA score about 70 runs too many in this current test. The only reason we hold the advantage is due to Root's 190 but he was dropped on 16 and stumped off a no ball on 149, I would have thought that would be out as you can be run out of a no ball so surely you can be out of a stumping.

[Guest Ollyboro]

56 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

 surely you can be out of a stumping.

I know what you're saying, Apple, but it would cause uproar in the amputee cricket world.

[Stubby Pecker]

1 hour ago, applescruff14 said:

We certainly let SA score about 70 runs too many in this current test. The only reason we hold the advantage is due to Root's 190 but he was dropped on 16 and stumped off a no ball on 149, I would have thought that would be out as you can be run out of a no ball so surely you can be out of a stumping.

We're still going to thrash them, ton for Cook, declare at tea, pitch doing everything. And their best bowler is banned next game for telling Stokes he's a cunt. I'd be fucking pissed off if I was Adil Rashid to get over looked for Dawson who seems not to be able to bat, bowl or field. 

[Guest N/A]

On 27/07/2016 at 10:39 PM, Fender777 said:

I love the game of cricket as it's more skillful than the poofs game of choice (football) but there is many a cuntbrain that plays the game..as things stand with English cricket..not too bad at the moment but i am sure that will not last and soon the wankers will be losing silly games to Afghanistan...and Germany, Argentina if they ever play them at cricket..but fuck em, the middle order is a stinker of a cuntbundle, only Cook and Root are holding the innings together with some hitting down the order..but it's the middle order who need to pull their fucking fingers out and earn their crust..i would find a new opener as Hales doesn't seem to be doing his bit in the test side, bring Root up to three and find a couple of new young guns for 4 & 5, i think the bowling attack is in good shape and jonny bairstow is finding his feet now..cricket thread as promised OB..

Cricket is an upper middle class wankfest. Played  at the international level by a bunch of fucking immigrants..... How the fuck can we have several England captains who were not even born in England..... Alan Lamb, etc.....can't even be arsed to remember their fucking South African names.

you should follow a bloody good proper English sport like cycling..... you would never see us have an African heading up our best cycling team....that would be fucking ridiculous!!!

[applescruff14]

23 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

We're still going to thrash them, ton for Cook, declare at tea, pitch doing everything. And their best bowler is banned next game for telling Stokes he's a cunt. I'd be fucking pissed off if I was Adil Rashid to get over looked for Dawson who seems not to be able to bat, bowl or field. 

No ton for Cook but a fantastic result and to bowl them out for 119 was a great effort. Dawson took 4 wickets in the game and conceded 101 runs which was nearly SA's second innings score and scored 0 in both innings with the bat. I would bring back Rashid for the 2nd test as he did well in India.

[applescruff14]

23 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

I know what you're saying, Apple, but it would cause uproar in the amputee cricket world.

Indeed it would, but in all seriousness if you can be run out of a no ball then surely you can be stumped off a no ball.

[Ape™️]

22 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Cricket is an upper middle class wankfest. Played  at the international level by a bunch of fucking immigrants..... How the fuck can we have several England captains who were not even born in England..... Alan Lamb, etc.....can't even be arsed to remember their fucking South African names.

you should follow a bloody good proper English sport like cycling..... you would never see us have an African heading up our best cycling team....that would be fucking ridiculous!!!

Much like your every utterance (that means the stuff you say). 

Fuck off.

[Guest N/A]

1 hour ago, Ape said:

Much like your every utterance (that means the stuff you say). 

Fuck off.

Ape....  go tidy your bed sit it stinks.

[Guest N/A]

On 27/07/2016 at 10:39 PM, Fender777 said:

I love the game of cricket as it's more skillful than the poofs game of choice (football) but there is many a cuntbrain that plays the game..as things stand with English cricket..not too bad at the moment but i am sure that will not last and soon the wankers will be losing silly games to Afghanistan...and Germany, Argentina if they ever play them at cricket..but fuck em, the middle order is a stinker of a cuntbundle, only Cook and Root are holding the innings together with some hitting down the order..but it's the middle order who need to pull their fucking fingers out and earn their crust..i would find a new opener as Hales doesn't seem to be doing his bit in the test side, bring Root up to three and find a couple of new young guns for 4 & 5, i think the bowling attack is in good shape and jonny bairstow is finding his feet now..cricket thread as promised OB..

Fucking amateurish game....wasn't even a paid profession until some cunt decided it was good for filling shit loads of hours on the telly.  Used to be middle and upper class cunts pouncing around on a field..... now it's just a load on non English pretend English wankers like KP crisp flying the flag for english shit sporting cunts.   Like that fake tennis bird.  

[camberwell gypsy]

23 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Cricket is an upper middle class wankfest. Played  at the international level by a bunch of fucking immigrants..... How the fuck can we have several England captains who were not even born in England..... Alan Lamb, etc.....can't even be arsed to remember their fucking South African names.

you should follow a bloody good proper English sport like cycling..... you would never see us have an African heading up our best cycling team....that would be fucking ridiculous!!!

African, heading up our best cycling team- I see what you did there MC. Have a like

[Guest N/A]

9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

African, heading up our best cycling team- I see what you did there MC. Have a like

Well done for getting it...of course Ape will be lost in this one. Because he's a thick cunt.

i will explain it to him when he grows up.