applescruff14 Posted October 19, 2017 Report Share Posted October 19, 2017 16 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Warner has taken up the role of pantomime Ocker gobshite, from pretty stiff competition. You could be absolutely right. We have a 'Harmison' moment from Ball One, Day One and it all goes downhill faster than a Glaswegian bin man on Christmas Eve. That appears to be the received wisdom (apart from one-eyed cunts like Botham who'd predict a 5-0 England win if we fielded a team of 11 Jade Dernbaches). I just wouldn't be surprised if it was closer than is being predicted. Blokes a dick but also a 2017/18 Ashes winner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 20, 2017 Report Share Posted October 20, 2017 On 10/18/2017 at 11:18 PM, applescruff14 said: Blokes a dick but also a 2017/18 Ashes winner. The Aussie women's cricket team is warming up to give a right kicking to our lads prior to the ashes. Apple, have you considered how you will get on in the event the ashes do go back to Australia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted October 22, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2017 I don't see the ashes all doom and gloom, sure England have some batting issues but Cook and Root are still world class players along with Broad and Anderson in the bowling department. Then we have the likes of Bairstow, Ali and Stokes (he will play) who on their day can hammer any attack. The Aussie cuntbundles are not that much better with the exception of Smith as their world class batsman, but i do see the Aussies edging it but only just, should be a good series. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted October 23, 2017 Report Share Posted October 23, 2017 6 hours ago, Fender777 said: I don't see the ashes all doom and gloom, sure England have some batting issues but Cook and Root are still world class players along with Broad and Anderson in the bowling department. Then we have the likes of Bairstow, Ali and Stokes (he will play) who on their day can hammer any attack. The Aussie cuntbundles are not that much better with the exception of Smith as their world class batsman, but i do see the Aussies edging it but only just, should be a good series. If we can compete with them we'll win because we're better. Our batting is flakey but remember how they got embarrassed by the safas last year (I do!) We need some luck, catch everything and take it to them. If we go down bad in the 1st couple of days we're fucked! Cook, Stoneman, Root, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Buttler, Woakes, Rashid, Broad, Anderson if I were picking it but the selectors will play safe and pick TWO extra batsmen who'll score, 5, 27, 16, 0, 20, 12, 0 and 0 in the first two test (I'm being generous) so why not play another bowler/all rounder? Cunts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 On 20/10/2017 at 8:14 PM, Wizardsleeve said: The Aussie women's cricket team is warming up to give a right kicking to our lads prior to the ashes. Apple, have you considered how you will get on in the event the ashes do go back to Australia? The series is going to finish 5-0 but unlike the other two times it happened England did have a chance of winning before the series started. At least I'm aware this time it will finish 5-0. We have the wrong captain, the openers and all the batsman give me no confidence, we can't win the series just on bowling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 On 23/10/2017 at 12:24 AM, Fender777 said: I don't see the ashes all doom and gloom, sure England have some batting issues but Cook and Root are still world class players along with Broad and Anderson in the bowling department. Then we have the likes of Bairstow, Ali and Stokes (he will play) who on their day can hammer any attack. The Aussie cuntbundles are not that much better with the exception of Smith as their world class batsman, but i do see the Aussies edging it but only just, should be a good series. 5-0 (Let's not kid ourselves) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 2 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: The series is going to finish 5-0 but unlike the other two times it happened England did have a chance of winning before the series started. At least I'm aware this time it will finish 5-0. We have the wrong captain, the openers and all the batsman give me no confidence, we can't win the series just on bowling. No fascinating updates on your employment status for us all to enjoy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 2 hours ago, Ape said: No fascinating updates on your employment status for us all to enjoy? It’s cricket thread....... You’re thicker than a earwig with severe learning disabilities. Cretin. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 7 minutes ago, Punkape said: It’s cricket thread....... You’re thicker than a earwig with severe learning disabilities. Cretin. Fuck off. What the fuck does this mean? I think you should look a little closer to home for your thick earwig, cunt face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 3 hours ago, applescruff14 said: The series is going to finish 5-0 but unlike the other two times it happened England did have a chance of winning before the series started. At least I'm aware this time it will finish 5-0. We have the wrong captain, the openers and all the batsman give me no confidence, we can't win the series just on bowling. If you believe even a single syllable of Punkape's rubbish about religion and catholicism, you still have the option of praying for a miracle! Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 26, 2017 Report Share Posted October 26, 2017 7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: If you believe even a single syllable of Punkape's rubbish about religion and catholicism, you still have the option of praying for a miracle! Just a thought. It would be brilliant if we could bring the Ashes back to England but Australia have the home advantage and will be more geared up for it, 5-0. If England did win I could imagine my manager if I turned up to work in my pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 26, 2017 Report Share Posted October 26, 2017 10 hours ago, Ape said: No fascinating updates on your employment status for us all to enjoy? Only that a P45 could be on the horizon, if I make 2018 it will be a miracle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 26, 2017 Report Share Posted October 26, 2017 On 23/10/2017 at 6:58 AM, Stubby Pecker said: If we can compete with them we'll win because we're better. Our batting is flakey but remember how they got embarrassed by the safas last year (I do!) We need some luck, catch everything and take it to them. If we go down bad in the 1st couple of days we're fucked! Cook, Stoneman, Root, Stokes, Bairstow, Moeen, Buttler, Woakes, Rashid, Broad, Anderson if I were picking it but the selectors will play safe and pick TWO extra batsmen who'll score, 5, 27, 16, 0, 20, 12, 0 and 0 in the first two test (I'm being generous) so why not play another bowler/all rounder? Cunts That team will not defend the Ashes in Australia, the last three times we have played Down Under Ashes we have been holders and only defended them once but were lucky to have even been holders then, it was the miracle of Cardiff that made the 2009 win happen. Remember watching that conclusion shaking like a leaf, Anderson & Panesar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 28, 2017 Report Share Posted October 28, 2017 On 25/10/2017 at 9:29 PM, Wizardsleeve said: If you believe even a single syllable of Punkape's rubbish about religion and catholicism, you still have the option of praying for a miracle! Just a thought. Come on England, bring the Ashes home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 On 20/10/2017 at 8:14 PM, Wizardsleeve said: The Aussie women's cricket team is warming up to give a right kicking to our lads prior to the ashes. Apple, have you considered how you will get on in the event the ashes do go back to Australia? I believe the team has arrived in Australia, the beginning of the end of our Ashes grasp. December 16th the Ashes will be gone. If the unthinkable does happen and England win I will be going to work in my pants, if I still have a job then. I will be the happiest person on Earth if we bring the Ashes home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 Have you met the woman of your dreams yet Apple? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 16 hours ago, applescruff14 said: I believe the team has arrived in Australia, the beginning of the end of our Ashes grasp. December 16th the Ashes will be gone. If the unthinkable does happen and England win I will be going to work in my pants, if I still have a job then. I will be the happiest person on Earth if we bring the Ashes home. You don't wear pants to work now? No wonder you're anticipating another P45! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 8 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: You don't wear pants to work now? No wonder you're anticipating another P45! Like all good Englishman wiz, he just wants us to beat those Aussie shitcunts and see them blubbing in defeat. Our only hope is that we do win and he'll shut the fuck up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 6 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Like all good Englishman wiz, he just wants us to beat those Aussie shitcunts and see them blubbing in defeat. Our only hope is that we do win and he'll shut the fuck up! He can make me chuckle, Stubbs. He reminds me of a single, English version of Al Bundy. Only never played sport, and probably wouldn't do well in a punch up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 8 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: He can make me chuckle, Stubbs. He reminds me of a single, English version of Al Bundy. Only never played sport, and probably wouldn't do well in a punch up. Al Bundy is possibly the greatest comedy character ever invented. The episode where he took the scouts camping, one kid started blubbing "I want my mommy", Al replies, "yeah, so does your dads brother". I could never understand why he was so reluctant to shag Peggy though.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Al Bundy is possibly the greatest comedy character ever invented. The episode where he took the scouts camping, one kid started blubbing "I want my mommy", Al replies, "yeah, so does your dads brother". I could never understand why he was so reluctant to shag Peggy though.. The episode where he was having a good luck run, and tried desperately to deny it to avoid a bad luck backlash made me laugh so hard I developed an abdominal hernia! My wife isn't keen on the show, I can't work that out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 29, 2017 Report Share Posted October 29, 2017 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: The episode where he was having a good luck run, and tried desperately to deny it to avoid a bad luck backlash made me laugh so hard I developed an abdominal hernia! My wife isn't keen on the show, I can't work that out. Women have a different sense of humour to us. Als' hatred of Marcy was hilarious, and Bud and Kelly were perfectly written characters as well. I wish they would repeat it on Comedy Central or something. Better than anything that passes for a sitcom now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 20 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Have you met the woman of your dreams yet Apple? No, but there is a woman at work although she is quite a bit older than me I like but she's recently divorced and comparing her to the woman that I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 6 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Like all good Englishman wiz, he just wants us to beat those Aussie shitcunts and see them blubbing in defeat. Our only hope is that we do win and he'll shut the fuck up! Only need to draw the series and the Ashes will be on the flight back with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: You don't wear pants to work now? No wonder you're anticipating another P45! I do under my clothes, but if England win the Ashes Down Under this winter I will turn up for work wearing nothing but my pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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