Guest Snatch Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 1 hour ago, judgetwi said: That was men’s talk between me and Apple. No need for you to butt and In like a nosy old woman. Go and hang the washing out before it starts raining again. Football? Men? Yeah right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 12 minutes ago, Snatch said: Football? Men? Yeah right. iron men or men irons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 7 hours ago, applescruff14 said: I wouldn't say no to a bit of her outside football though. How does she compare to "The Woman"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 The series distilled into one day. Stoneman and Vince look pretty and then get out Cook (Melbourne and its shirtfront track aside) looks NFG now Root doesn't convert, we look to be sitting pretty though - until in two overs, we hand the initiative back to them. All we need tomorrow is the patent English lower order collapse, raising our hopes by getting them 'fuck all for 2' only for Smith to crack out another 150-plus and it's like deja-vu all over again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 8 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: The series distilled into one day. Stoneman and Vince look pretty and then get out Cook (Melbourne and its shirtfront track aside) looks NFG now Root doesn't convert, we look to be sitting pretty though - until in two overs, we hand the initiative back to them. All we need tomorrow is the patent English lower order collapse, raising our hopes by getting them 'fuck all for 2' only for Smith to crack out another 150-plus and it's like deja-vu all over again. Malan and Mo need to put on 100 and the rest get us up to 400 or well loose by an inns again. Twats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 I hate the Sydney test for many reasons. Usually because all hope is gone of a victory, the remnants of a shattered England side are usually no longer even entertaining unless they are Ronnie Irani, I’ve lost my taste for VB, blown my budget on seafood at Doyles, and have to give some thought to the impending ride home to winter in the English NHS. These days though, it’s this load of cock; http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-02/glenn-mcgrath-raising-the-bar-for-10th-pink-test-at-the-scg/9298990 I hate the sight of the Barmy Army having to be nice to that Arch Cunt McGrath for even one day. In fact I rather suspect she faked her own death to escape the cunt droning on about the day he took 8-41 against Northants during intercourse. Day three at the SCG is a day to spend on the beach. The Pink Test is something entirely different where I’m from. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 54 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I hate the Sydney test for many reasons. Usually because all hope is gone of a victory, the remnants of a shattered England side are usually no longer even entertaining unless they are Ronnie Irani, I’ve lost my taste for VB, blown my budget on seafood at Doyles, and have to give some thought to the impending ride home to winter in the English NHS. These days though, it’s this load of cock; http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-02/glenn-mcgrath-raising-the-bar-for-10th-pink-test-at-the-scg/9298990 I hate the sight of the Barmy Army having to be nice to that Arch Cunt McGrath for even one day. In fact I rather suspect she faked her own death to escape the cunt droning on about the day he took 8-41 against Northants during intercourse. Day three at the SCG is a day to spend on the beach. The Pink Test is something entirely different where I’m from. I sat on a table next to Ian Botham and Viv Richards at Doyles almost 20 years ago. Both great crickets, one a total cunt, however Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 Just now, Stubby Pecker said: I sat on a table next to Ian Botham and Viv Richards almost 20 years ago. Both great crickets, one a total cunt, however Wasn’t one of them a grasshopper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 16 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: The series distilled into one day. Stoneman and Vince look pretty and then get out Cook (Melbourne and its shirtfront track aside) looks NFG now Root doesn't convert, we look to be sitting pretty though - until in two overs, we hand the initiative back to them. All we need tomorrow is the patent English lower order collapse, raising our hopes by getting them 'fuck all for 2' only for Smith to crack out another 150-plus and it's like deja-vu all over again. That horrible looking prick is at the crease as we speak. They will score 600+ in this innings like we did back in 2011. At least Warner is gone but that's as good as its going to get. I would sack Root as captain after this test and maybe reconsider him in perhaps 2020 or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 6 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I hate the Sydney test for many reasons. Usually because all hope is gone of a victory, the remnants of a shattered England side are usually no longer even entertaining unless they are Ronnie Irani, I’ve lost my taste for VB, blown my budget on seafood at Doyles, and have to give some thought to the impending ride home to winter in the English NHS. These days though, it’s this load of cock; http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-02/glenn-mcgrath-raising-the-bar-for-10th-pink-test-at-the-scg/9298990 I hate the sight of the Barmy Army having to be nice to that Arch Cunt McGrath for even one day. In fact I rather suspect she faked her own death to escape the cunt droning on about the day he took 8-41 against Northants during intercourse. Day three at the SCG is a day to spend on the beach. The Pink Test is something entirely different where I’m from. The blokes a prick, if I found myself having to say anything good about him I'd slit my wrists. I remember his face when India got him out in Calcutta in 2001 and won the test after being asked to follow on, an absolute picture, wasnt so smug then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 8 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Malan and Mo need to put on 100 and the rest get us up to 400 or well loose by an inns again. Twats. We will lose by over an innings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 17 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: How does she compare to "The Woman"? Rolf Harris to Rembrandt Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 19 hours ago, judgetwi said: That was men’s talk between me and Apple. No need for you to butt and In like a nosy old woman. Go and hang the washing out before it starts raining again. The day she took the helm we lose 0-3 at home to fucking Burton Albion, will probably lose to Carlisle in the FA Cup and get a drubbing at Bramall Lane next week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 21 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: The series distilled into one day. Stoneman and Vince look pretty and then get out Cook (Melbourne and its shirtfront track aside) looks NFG now Root doesn't convert, we look to be sitting pretty though - until in two overs, we hand the initiative back to them. All we need tomorrow is the patent English lower order collapse, raising our hopes by getting them 'fuck all for 2' only for Smith to crack out another 150-plus and it's like deja-vu all over again. Fucking hell I'm good, me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 News from the pink Test...... The place looks half fucking empty. Everyone at the beach. Is it too much to hope for that Steve Smith falls on his wicket and gets a stump straight up his hole? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 Yay, seven wickets down and 267 behind, it's a shame the England cricket team aren't Japanese, time for mass Seppuku. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 On 05/01/2018 at 11:41 PM, Last Cunt Standing said: News from the pink Test...... The place looks half fucking empty. Everyone at the beach. Is it too much to hope for that Steve Smith falls on his wicket and gets a stump straight up his hole? Two wickets down at tea and trailing by 280 odd. England should have abandoned the tour ages ago. I would have gone off injured if I'd been James Anderson at Perth to fuck up their celebrations. Wouldn't have give them the satisfaction of taking all 20 wickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 On 05/01/2018 at 9:37 AM, Jiggerycock said: Fucking hell I'm good, me Its inevitable when you're playing on doctored wickets. Middle order batsmen scoring big runs test after test, its a farce. I would stop touring Australia after this. Murali had the right idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 It’s a teeth clenching embarrassment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 2018 has barely got it's kit off and yet the sporting ennui grips like a vice. England 'repeat ad nauseam' in Australia. The Premier League is a competition free, over-hyped mess Cheltenham - though still a riotous celebration in mid-March - casts an ever longer shadow over the Jumps season, the permafrost only enhanced by bookies continuing to squeeze the life out the ante-post markets - and now we've got that cunt Ricci acting like mouth almighty on every media platform available. The 6 Nations? - Rugby's a bit 'meh' for me and Formula One is a fucking pseudo-sport up there with Ice Dancing. Tennis? - I'd rather die. Shit Piss Wank Fuck Toss Cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 Captain Root hospitalised due to dehydration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 50 minutes ago, Albert Ross said: Captain Root hospitalised due to dehydration. Dying of embarrassment more like. Hope he’s had some intravenous courage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted January 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2018 On 12/31/2017 at 7:19 AM, Stubby Pecker said: In the first 3 tests we had opportunities but failed to grab the key moments and let the Aussies run away with it. Their victories were inflated and their bowling looks shite without starc who's top gun. We'll beat them over here as they can't play swing and seam. It was a shit squad who played pointless warm up games agains virtually the same 3 sides with little or no first class players. They should have been out there weeks earlier playing proper games against tough opponents. If the ACB wouldn't accommodate then play the warm up games in South Africa in similar conditions. When the convicts come here give them a couple of warm up vs county second elevens on cabbage patch wickets We'll win in Sydney if we get smith cheaply Fuck me Stubby, Sydney was the biggest defeat of the series, a truly fucking awful game, i never watched it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 14, 2018 Report Share Posted January 14, 2018 3 hours ago, Fender777 said: Fuck me Stubby, Sydney was the biggest defeat of the series, a truly fucking awful game, i never watched it all. It was shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted January 14, 2018 Report Share Posted January 14, 2018 On 07/01/2018 at 11:12 PM, Last Cunt Standing said: Dying of embarrassment more like. Hope he’s had some intravenous courage. Take the captaincy off him, has proved beyond all doubt he cant handle the job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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