Cuntybaws Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 Why in the name of blue holy fuck do advertisers think people will be duped into wanting their shitty fucking products if they employ a parade of uncoordinated spastics jiving around for no apparent reason? I can assure Bartle Bogle Hegarty and their ilk that the sight of that sag-titted witch Lorraine Kelly and her cadre of cunts twitching about in a range of clothing for fat old people is not going to improve sales - unless it's sales of anti-emetics. Nor do I believe that sad lonely housewives with less money than sense actually believe that logging on to an internet bingo site will turn their living room into a Bollywood party. The latest Terpsichorean abomination is an advert for the Happy Egg Company – fucking eggs! There are undoubtedly bigger and better things to worry about, but still, fuck these fucking cunts, fuck them all to death! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 Pensioners hearing aid adverts in magaines and newspapers are another curse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Why in the name of blue holy fuck do advertisers think people will be duped into wanting their shitty fucking products if they employ a parade of uncoordinated spastics jiving around for no apparent reason? I can assure Bartle Bogle Hegarty and their ilk that the sight of that sag-titted witch Lorraine Kelly and her cadre of cunts twitching about in a range of clothing for fat old people is not going to improve sales - unless it's sales of anti-emetics. Nor do I believe that sad lonely housewives with less money than sense actually believe that logging on to an internet bingo site will turn their living room into a Bollywood party. The latest Terpsichorean abomination is an advert for the Happy Egg Company – fucking eggs! There are undoubtedly bigger and better things to worry about, but still, fuck these fucking cunts, fuck them all to death! Terpsichorea? Please don't use big words I don't know. It gives me a headache guy, it gives me a headache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 moneysupermarket.com builders and twerkers. Nuke the cunts. and the cunt who thought it would be a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Why in the name of blue holy fuck do advertisers think people will be duped into wanting their shitty fucking products if they employ a parade of uncoordinated spastics jiving around for no apparent reason? I can assure Bartle Bogle Hegarty and their ilk that the sight of that sag-titted witch Lorraine Kelly and her cadre of cunts twitching about in a range of clothing for fat old people is not going to improve sales - unless it's sales of anti-emetics. Nor do I believe that sad lonely housewives with less money than sense actually believe that logging on to an internet bingo site will turn their living room into a Bollywood party. The latest Terpsichorean abomination is an advert for the Happy Egg Company – fucking eggs! There are undoubtedly bigger and better things to worry about, but still, fuck these fucking cunts, fuck them all to death! It's the biggest con Hollywood ever foisted on us. The notion that we are going about our everyday, mundane existence, when, of a sudden, we are compelled to burst into song and start gallivanting about the place like a gored robot. So you get the fat autistic one off 'The Kids from Fame' going for a shit when suddenly it evolves into something Cecil B De Mille would have rejected as being 'a bit over the top' with Carman Miranda types, body popping hither, thither and yon (particularly 'yon') intoning some number about 'I'm having a dump...hot-diggity...a Trafalgar-Class Number 2!' ....and don't get me started on that Austrian Nun, stinking out the gaff with her' tazered pig' machinations, whittering on about 'The hills being alive with the sound of music' when as we all know they're alive with shotgun blasts of suicidal farmers topping themselves because their EEC subsidies won't be rolling in for much longer. It's the fucking lies I can't stand. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: Terpsichorea? Please don't use big words I don't know. It gives me a headache guy, it gives me a headache. you ignorant uneducated old moo...Terpsichoria...tis a common word used all the time in Wolverhampton, hence the everyday phrase "fucking hell my Terpsichords are fucking being ripped to shreds by this cheap poundland bogroll our kid" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 27, 2016 Report Share Posted October 27, 2016 1 hour ago, luke swarm said: you ignorant uneducated old moo...Terpsichoria...tis a common word used all the time in Wolverhampton, hence the everyday phrase "fucking hell my Terpsichords are fucking being ripped to shreds by this cheap poundland bogroll our kid" Never got that med school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 If this is a competition, then I nominate that fucking cheese party advert. I win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 50 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: If this is a competition, then I nominate that fucking cheese party advert. I win. Not so fast. The induction video for Crayford Motor Parts Direct is still the original and best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 But me name's Kevin? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 4 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: But me name's Kevin? Me ears are alight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Not so fast. The induction video for Crayford Motor Parts Direct is still the original and best. You piss taking cunt baws, I preferred it when I was a millionaire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 Just now, Eddie said: You piss taking cunt baws, I preferred it when I was a millionaire. I think we all preferred that Ed. Except, perhaps, for Ape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I think we all preferred that Ed. Except, perhaps, for Ape. Ape was in on it, we came up with a plan to dupe the corner when he popped in for a new car aerial to replace the coat hanger on his yugo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 You're all cunts as the "shake and vac" woman was the best by miles. They play it at abortion clinics these days so it's timeless too. Konigstigernacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 I would like to advertise the fact that Decimus 'dancing' on the end of a hang man's noose would be the best and very appealing. Does this count? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 4 minutes ago, Bedbug said: I would like to advertise the fact that Decimus 'dancing' on the end of a hang man's noose would be the best and very appealing. Does this count? Withers, put this Bedbuggering business to bed, it's doing nothing for me, or anyone else for that matter. Bring the dead French cunt back, there's a good lad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: Withers, put this Bedbuggering business to bed, it's doing nothing for me, or anyone else for that matter. Bring the dead French cunt back, there's a good lad. I attended poor old Withers funeral on Friday, it was a very big affair. He had endured so much pain toward the end but retained his dignity and quick wit 'til his last breath. His coffin seemed to glow slightly in the crematorium chapel, and this was put down to all the radiotherapy. At his request only the coffin was burnt, and Withers corpse is powering a discotheque in Lyon. R.I.P old Scrotey friend, you selfless soppy sod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 27 minutes ago, Bedbug said: I attended poor old Withers funeral on Friday, it was a very big affair. He had endured so much pain toward the end but retained his dignity and quick wit 'til his last breath. His coffin seemed to glow slightly in the crematorium chapel, and this was put down to all the radiotherapy. At his request only the coffin was burnt, and Withers corpse is powering a discotheque in Lyon. R.I.P old Scrotey friend, you selfless soppy sod. His coffin must have resembled a long wooden pipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 On 27/10/2016 at 10:51 AM, Cuntybaws said: Why in the name of blue holy fuck do advertisers think people will be duped into wanting their shitty fucking products if they employ a parade of uncoordinated spastics jiving around for no apparent reason? I can assure Bartle Bogle Hegarty and their ilk that the sight of that sag-titted witch Lorraine Kelly and her cadre of cunts twitching about in a range of clothing for fat old people is not going to improve sales - unless it's sales of anti-emetics. Nor do I believe that sad lonely housewives with less money than sense actually believe that logging on to an internet bingo site will turn their living room into a Bollywood party. The latest Terpsichorean abomination is an advert for the Happy Egg Company – fucking eggs! There are undoubtedly bigger and better things to worry about, but still, fuck these fucking cunts, fuck them all to death! A rant from the top shelf, Baws, with which I wholeheartedly concur. Add dystonia and dyskinesia afflicted fuckwits to the copy (no mention of parkinsons) and err...you've sold it to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 On 27/10/2016 at 2:19 PM, Jiggerycock said: It's the biggest con Hollywood ever foisted on us. The notion that we are going about our everyday, mundane existence, when, of a sudden, we are compelled to burst into song and start gallivanting about the place like a gored robot. So you get the fat autistic one off 'The Kids from Fame' going for a shit when suddenly it evolves into something Cecil B De Mille would have rejected as being 'a bit over the top' with Carman Miranda types, body popping hither, thither and yon (particularly 'yon') intoning some number about 'I'm having a dump...hot-diggity...a Trafalgar-Class Number 2!' ....and don't get me started on that Austrian Nun, stinking out the gaff with her' tazered pig' machinations, whittering on about 'The hills being alive with the sound of music' when as we all know they're alive with shotgun blasts of suicidal farmers topping themselves because their EEC subsidies won't be rolling in for much longer. It's the fucking lies I can't stand. I fucking hate musicals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 6 hours ago, Bedbug said: I attended poor old Withers funeral on Friday, it was a very big affair. He had endured so much pain toward the end but retained his dignity and quick wit 'til his last breath. His coffin seemed to glow slightly in the crematorium chapel, and this was put down to all the radiotherapy. At his request only the coffin was burnt, and Withers corpse is powering a discotheque in Lyon. R.I.P old Scrotey friend, you selfless soppy sod. During this weekend I've witnessed what must be the most banal pile of fucking shit the corner has ever seen. I don't know what's worse.. your makeshift tedious bedbug bollocks, or the huge disappointment that is Quincy Cockfingers. Either way, you can consider this my last post until withers is properly reinstated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 26 minutes ago, Frank said: During this weekend I've witnessed what must be the most banal pile of fucking shit the corner has ever seen. I don't know what's worse.. your makeshift tedious bedbug bollocks, or the huge disappointment that is Quincy Cockfingers. Either way, you can consider this my last post until withers is properly reinstated. Have this one on the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 32 minutes ago, Frank said: During this weekend I've witnessed what must be the most banal pile of fucking shit the corner has ever seen. I don't know what's worse.. your makeshift tedious bedbug bollocks, or the huge disappointment that is Quincy Cockfingers. Either way, you can consider this my last post until withers is properly reinstated. Stenhousemuir 0 St Johnstone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 30, 2016 Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 47 minutes ago, Frank said: During this weekend I've witnessed what must be the most banal pile of fucking shit the corner has ever seen. I don't know what's worse.. your makeshift tedious bedbug bollocks, or the huge disappointment that is Quincy Cockfingers. Either way, you can consider this my last post until withers is properly reinstated. We can't all driver a Renault Kadjar Fran. You take all the time you need me old china. Better still, fuckin kill yourself. Minkey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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