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Extreme paranoia about the omnipresent threat of noncing


Guest Bill Stickers

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Guest Bill Stickers

Just tried to buy a pair of chinos in a ghastly shopping centre. The queue for the men's till was fucking massive.

I spot that the kids till section, 30 metres away and in plain view, has nobody queuing at it.

I try and pay there and am told by the gormless retail drone I can't as I'm a single adult male.

Not every cunt wants to frot against, fiddle and diddle every minor they see. 

A policy implemented to appease the most reactionary of cunts with a gold subscription to the Mail Online. Fuck off.

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Guest Bill Stickers
3 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

I recently got forcibly removed from my local Morrisons, just for asking if they sold binoculars and tissues whilst stood in the Back To School section.

You fucking disgust me, shopping in Morrisons. 

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6 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Just tried to buy a pair of chinos in a ghastly shopping centre. The queue for the men's till was fucking massive.

I spot that the kids till section, 30 metres away and in plain view, has nobody queuing at it.

I try and pay there and am told by the gormless retail drone I can't as I'm a single adult male.

Not every cunt was to frot against, fiddle and diddle every minor they see. 

A policy implemented to appease the most reactionary of cunts with a gold subscription to the Mail Online. Fuck off.

Very true. A couple of decades ago, a responsible adult, upon seeing an obviously lost child would approach the kid, enquire as to where it's parents were and if necessary, escort it to the police station so the kid could be safely returned home. Nowadays most people would ignore the kid for fear of an angry mob reminiscent of the villagers from Frankenstein, descending on them screaming, "paedophile!". 

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Guest Bill Stickers
2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Very true. A couple of decades ago, a responsible adult, upon seeing an obviously lost child would approach the kid, enquire as to where it's parents were and if necessary, escort it to the police station so the kid could be safely returned home. Nowadays most people would ignore the kid for fear of an angry mob reminiscent of the villagers from Frankenstein, descending on them screaming, "paedophile!". 

It's not all bad. I hate kids. A decade ago I would have felt obliged to pull a drowning kid out of a pool.

Now I can just let the little fucker drown without having to question my conscience. 

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7 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Just tried to buy a pair of chinos in a ghastly shopping centre. The queue for the men's till was fucking massive.

I spot that the kids till section, 30 metres away and in plain view, has nobody queuing at it.

I try and pay there and am told by the gormless retail drone I can't as I'm a single adult male.

Not every cunt was to frot against, fiddle and diddle every minor they see. 

A policy implemented to appease the most reactionary of cunts with a gold subscription to the Mail Online. Fuck off.

The gormless retail drone is actually an astute reader of people's character. As you were buying chinos, she wanted to send you to the gay checkout counter.

Mrs Manky doesn't let me do any shopping. I don't let her go to the bar.

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Guest Bill Stickers
Just now, Cuntybaws said:

You fucking disgust me. Chinos?

 

Just now, Manky said:

The gormless retail drone is actually an astute reader of people's character. As you were buying chinos, she wanted to send you to the gay checkout counter.

Mrs Manky doesn't let me do any shopping. I don't let her go to the bar.

Two ageing old cunts still squeezing themselves into Levi jeans. And I'm the one that gets accused of looking a nonce. 

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1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said:

It's not all bad. I hate kids. A decade ago I would have felt obliged to pull a drowning kid out of a pool.

Now I can just let the little fucker drown without having to question my conscience. 

I'm of a similar mindset. When I'm driving, I've noticed that if I see a dog or cat on the pavement, I slow down significantly, I don't when it's a chavlet.

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2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

 

Two ageing old cunts still squeezing themselves into Levi jeans. And I'm the one that gets accused of looking a nonce. 

Fuck off. I am a wrangler man. Hard wearing denim keks for hard men.

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11 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Two ageing old cunts still squeezing themselves into Levi jeans. And I'm the one that gets accused of looking a nonce. 

Sorry Bill, until today I hadn't realised you were a member of Boyzone. With hindsight, though, all the signs were there. Mikey?

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1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Just tried to buy a pair of chinos in a ghastly shopping centre. The queue for the men's till was fucking massive.

I spot that the kids till section, 30 metres away and in plain view, has nobody queuing at it.

I try and pay there and am told by the gormless retail drone I can't as I'm a single adult male.

Not every cunt was to frot against, fiddle and diddle every minor they see. 

A policy implemented to appease the most reactionary of cunts with a gold subscription to the Mail Online. Fuck off.

A cracking fucking nom, Bill, although you have committed a school boy error in admitting that you bought a pair chinos. I'm not sure what sort of reaction you were expecting, but it's almost like you didn't realise that apart from myself and Roadkill, your captive audience doesn't include anyone under the age of 35. 

Did you buy any espadrilles to go with them? Don't answer me on here, just PM me the pictures.

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Guest Bill Stickers
36 minutes ago, Decimus said:

A cracking fucking nom, Bill, although you have committed a school boy error in admitting that you bought a pair chinos. I'm not sure what sort of reaction you were expecting, but it's almost like you didn't realise that apart from myself and Roadkill, your captive audience doesn't include anyone under the age of 35. 

Did you buy any espadrilles to go with them? Don't answer me on here, just PM me the pictures.

Nothing wrong with a pair of chinos as long as they are an understated colour - black, brown, grey. 

Any cunt seen wearing burgundy, red, yellow or green is probably one of punkapes shifting (short hand for shirt lifting henceforth) bullingdon club benders. 

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

A cracking fucking nom, Bill, although you have committed a school boy error in admitting that you bought a pair chinos. I'm not sure what sort of reaction you were expecting, but it's almost like you didn't realise that apart from myself and Roadkill, your captive audience doesn't include anyone under the age of 35. 

Did you buy any espadrilles to go with them? Don't answer me on here, just PM me the pictures.

The fuck are chinos? Shoes?

Edited by Roadkill (temp)
Pants. Never mind.
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52 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Nothing wrong with a pair of chinos as long as they are an understated colour - black, brown, grey. 

Any cunt seen wearing burgundy, red, yellow or green is probably one of punkapes shifting (short hand for shirt lifting henceforth) bullingdon club benders. 

I think you've been rumbled as a Marks & Spencer shopping, pant wetting, senile old fool. 

Still, a great nom nonetheless, if it happened to me, I'd no doubt find myself reporting the incident. 

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21 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

You forgot the faux leather elbow patches on a stinking old tweed blazer. 

Yep, those are for the hardcore teacher set, the tweed often paired with murky green, chunky corduroy trousers, rumpled at the ankles. One of my teachers dressed exactly like that, and drove a beige Morris Marina, of course.

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15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Yep, those are for the hardcore teacher set, the tweed often paired with murky green, chunky corduroy trousers, rumpled at the ankles. One of my teachers dressed exactly like that, and drove a beige Morris Marina, of course.

I didn't realise you knew Mr Weekes. 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
5 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Just tried to buy a pair of chinos in a ghastly shopping centre. The queue for the men's till was fucking massive.

I spot that the kids till section, 30 metres away and in plain view, has nobody queuing at it.

I try and pay there and am told by the gormless retail drone I can't as I'm a single adult male.

Not every cunt wants to frot against, fiddle and diddle every minor they see. 

A policy implemented to appease the most reactionary of cunts with a gold subscription to the Mail Online. Fuck off.

Chinos??? Have you just awoken from a coma that was induced in the 80's?

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5 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Just tried to buy a pair of chinos in a ghastly shopping centre. The queue for the men's till was fucking massive.

I spot that the kids till section, 30 metres away and in plain view, has nobody queuing at it.

I try and pay there and am told by the gormless retail drone I can't as I'm a single adult male.

Not every cunt wants to frot against, fiddle and diddle every minor they see. 

A policy implemented to appease the most reactionary of cunts with a gold subscription to the Mail Online. Fuck off.

That's nothing, Stubbs got thrown out of his local swimming pool because the 's' fell of his Speedos, well that, and other much more serious stuff....

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