Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: Pleb. If the dickhead who thinks he's on an "eight day golfing holiday", why is it posting on here? Imagination is a wonderful thing, I speak from experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 On 22/10/2017 at 13:51, Eric Cuntman said: That was what I was thinking of. They called it a 'SRImech' I think. The srimech manoeuvre ? Is that the one if your windpipe gets blocked? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, King Billy said: The srimech manoeuvre ? Is that the one if your windpipe gets blocked? lol I think that's the Heimlich manoeuvre, it looks a bit like bumming though, so if their face is turning blue, I would stab them in the throat with a Swiss Army knife, and stick a plastic biro tube in the hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: I think that's the Heimlich manoeuvre, it looks a bit like bumming though, so if their face is turning blue, I would stab them in the throat with a Swiss Army knife, and stick a plastic biro tube in the hole. I have one of these: https://www.swisstool.co.uk/st/huntsman-red-swiss-army-knife.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI09eIzJX74gIVSfhRCh1oewAEEAYYASABEgIDiPD_BwE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: I think that's the Heimlich manoeuvre, it looks a bit like bumming though, so if their face is turning blue, I would stab them in the throat with a Swiss Army knife, and stick a plastic biro tube in the hole. What do you call a woman with a corkscrew arm a screwdriver arm and a bottle opener leg and a file for the other leg? Swiss Army Wife lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, Earl Albert of Ross said: I have one of these: https://www.swisstool.co.uk/st/huntsman-red-swiss-army-knife.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI09eIzJX74gIVSfhRCh1oewAEEAYYASABEgIDiPD_BwE But I'm afraid to take it out of my abode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, King Billy said: What do you call a woman with a corkscrew arm a screwdriver arm and a bottle opener leg and a file for the other leg? Swiss Army Wife lol Yeah but can she DT? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross said: I have one of these: https://www.swisstool.co.uk/st/huntsman-red-swiss-army-knife.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI09eIzJX74gIVSfhRCh1oewAEEAYYASABEgIDiPD_BwE I've got one similar, and a little key ring one. I always lose the little tweezers or the toothpick though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I think that's the Heimlich manoeuvre, it looks a bit like bumming though, so if their face is turning blue, I would stab them in the throat with a Swiss Army knife, and stick a plastic biro tube in the hole. The Heinrich Manoeuvre changed millions of lives for the better 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 OMG, Richard Dreyfuss just said "bullshit" on live telly at 19:13hrs. Angela Scanlon (I think she's gorgeous) apologised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, ratcum said: The Heinrich Manoeuvre changed millions of lives for the better It was a fucking gas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 12 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross said: OMG, Richard Dreyfuss just said "bullshit" on live telly at 19:13hrs. Angela Scanlon (I think she's gorgeous) apologised. One doodlydoodoo one doodlydoodoo one. I bet you sing it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 11 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross said: OMG, Richard Dreyfuss just said "bullshit" on live telly at 19:13hrs. Angela Scanlon (I think she's gorgeous) apologised. I would eat Dreyfuss' shit if it gained me access to Scanlon's feet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, ratcum said: I would eat Dreyfuss' shit if it gained me access to Scanlon's feet Pervert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, scotty said: Pervert. okay I was just kidding about the feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 2 hours ago, ratcum said: okay I was just kidding about the feet. I should hope so. They're even uglier than roops feet, and at least a size 9. 🤮🤮 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 1 minute ago, scotty said: I should hope so. They're even uglier than roops feet, and at least a size 9. 🤮🤮 Still, people had respect in them days. You could come on heavy at the butchers and it was cheap black pudding for a week. Period poverty my fuckin arse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted June 21, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 3 hours ago, Earl Albert of Ross said: If the dickhead who thinks he's on an "eight day golfing holiday", why is it posting on here? Imagination is a wonderful thing, I speak from experience. I leave for my golfing holiday tomorrow. Do you have anything to say about that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 2 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: I leave for my golfing holiday tomorrow. Do you have anything to say about that? I thought you were leaving today? Get your story right Punkers. Don't forget that king-sized tube of KY Jelly and make sure you don't use condoms, like a good Catholic. p.s Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 9 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: I leave for my golfing holiday tomorrow. Do you have anything to say about that? Tomorrow night You’ll be leaving on Sunday after mass. I’m afraid you’re going to have to take a polygraph Mr. Bullshit. Please phone Dr. Cunt to arrange an urgent appointment. Or alternatively Fuck Off lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted June 21, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: I thought you were leaving today? Get your story right Punkers. Don't forget that king-sized tube of KY Jelly and make sure you don't use condoms, like a good Catholic. p.s Fuck off Happiness for you would be an old whaling station and an ancient harpoon fired up your backside from short range... lol. lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 Just now, Earl of Punkape said: Happiness for you would be an old whaling station and an ancient harpoon fired up your backside from short range... lol. lol. I expect that Major has got a Moby Dick. lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 3 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: Happiness for you would be an old whaling station and an ancient harpoon fired up your backside from short range... lol. lol. That’s not exactly how normal people play ‘Golf’ Is that what you call target golf? Chew golf balls and die poof lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 4 minutes ago, Glowworm said: I expect that Major has got a Moby Dick. lol I expect you have a ‘pendulous scrotum’ lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted June 21, 2019 Report Share Posted June 21, 2019 9 minutes ago, Glowworm said: I expect that Major has got a Moby Dick. lol Jealousy will get you nowhere you gin soaked old tranny. Feel free to put caustic soda in your Horlicks later! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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