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Jude Law


Ape™️

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He's never really amounted to much other than lead roles in shit movies and supporting roles in shit movies, so at least he's consistent. I always forget that he's a man until I see his generic face pop up on the screen due to his deceiving name and entirely forgetful presence. He makes the likes of Brenden Fraser and Billy Zane look like Patric Stewart and Ian McKellen in comparison, and the continuous disappointment of him not having tits and a growler only make me hate him more.  

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2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

He's never really amounted to much other than lead roles in shit movies and supporting roles in shit movies, so at least he's consistent. I always forget that he's a man until I see his generic face pop up on the screen due to his deceiving name and entirely forgetful presence. He makes the likes of Brenden Fraser and Billy Zane look like Patric Stewart and Ian McKellen in comparison, and the continuous disappointment of him not having tits and a growler only make me hate him more.  

A couple of his former lovers have revealed that he is woefully inadequate in the trouser department. Eh-oh Tinky Winky.

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10 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

He's called fucking Jude. Jude!

What do you expect?

The only thing I liked him in was 'Love, Honour and Obey', and that thing about ram-raiders, I think it was called 'Shopping'. And Sean Pertwee stole the show in both of those. Sean Pertwee is a decent actor that never quite hit the big time. Like his contemporary, Sean Bean, who seems to be gaining momentum now that he's old and haggard.

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7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The only thing I liked him in was 'Love, Honour and Obey', and that thing about ram-raiders, I think it was called 'Shopping'. And Sean Pertwee stole the show in both of those. Sean Pertwee is a decent actor that never quite hit the big time. Like his contemporary, Sean Bean, who seems to be gaining momentum now that he's old and haggard.

Sean Bean has made a name for himself in his later years because he's always killed before whatever show/movie he's in inevitably turns to shit in the later seasons/hours. He'll never be remembered for his many years as Sharpe to the youngsters today, but his last stands as Boromir and Ned Stark have made him legend. No one talks about Elijah Wood these days, do they? 

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4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The only thing I liked him in was 'Love, Honour and Obey', and that thing about ram-raiders, I think it was called 'Shopping'. And Sean Pertwee stole the show in both of those. Sean Pertwee is a decent actor that never quite hit the big time. Like his contemporary, Sean Bean, who seems to be gaining momentum now that he's old and haggard.

Sean Bean is a fuck up merchant. He fucked up the Sharpe series. I read all the books and Sharpe was a cockney from Wapping. Paul McGann, far better actor, started filming but broke his leg playing football so they brought in Bean to replace him. McGann would have played Sharpe as a Londoner.

And in the film 'C$sh' Bean fucked up a scene by calling a character by his real name. Fucking useless

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14 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Sean Bean has made a name for himself in his later years because he's always killed before whatever show/movie he's in inevitably turns to shit in the later seasons/hours. He'll never be remembered for his many years as Sharpe to the youngsters today, but his last stands as Boromir and Ned Stark have made him legend. No one talks about Elijah Wood these days, do they? 

I mainly remember Elijah Wood for getting properly fucked up by Marv in Sin City, and being the most unlikely and unconvincing football hooligan ever in Green Street. 

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8 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sean Bean is a fuck up merchant. He fucked up the Sharpe series. I read all the books and Sharpe was a cockney from Wapping. Paul McGann, far better actor, started filming but broke his leg playing football so they brought in Bean to replace him. McGann would have played Sharpe as a Londoner.

And in the film 'C$sh' Bean fucked up a scene by calling a character by his real name. Fucking useless

The TV show was hardly a high budget production. The amount of times I saw rubber swords bend just before the camera cut away and red felt tip lines drawn across white shirts to signify slash wounds when I watched it tells me that the focus was on overall set and costume design than actors. Bean was pretty terrible in it, but so were the rest of them really. The mid 90's cheesiness was part of the charm for me. 

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Just now, Roadkill said:

The TV show was hardly a high budget production. The amount of times I saw rubber swords bend just before the camera cut away and red felt tip lines drawn across white shirts to signify slash wounds when I watched it tells me that the focus was on overall set and costume design than actors. Bean was pretty terrible in it, but so were the rest of them really. The mid 90's cheesiness was part of the charm for me. 

A comparable show, Hornblower, however was superb and a lavish production, only slightly marred by the flintlock rifles and pistols obviously having barrels made of 1mm walled steel tubing. The firearms of the period would have been quarter inch walled hexagonal forged. But aside from that, it's above criticism as far as capturing the atmosphere of life at sea during the napoleonic wars.

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18 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

The TV show was hardly a high budget production. The amount of times I saw rubber swords bend just before the camera cut away and red felt tip lines drawn across white shirts to signify slash wounds when I watched it tells me that the focus was on overall set and costume design than actors. Bean was pretty terrible in it, but so were the rest of them really. The mid 90's cheesiness was part of the charm for me. 

Bit difficult staging battles like Badajoz and Ciudiad Rodrigo with 150 extras. 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
5 hours ago, Roadkill said:

The TV show was hardly a high budget production. The amount of times I saw rubber swords bend just before the camera cut away and red felt tip lines drawn across white shirts to signify slash wounds when I watched it tells me that the focus was on overall set and costume design than actors. Bean was pretty terrible in it, but so were the rest of them really. The mid 90's cheesiness was part of the charm for me. 

Can't be as bad as the opening titles to the Onedin Line, apparently set in 1860 but you can see a shadow of the helicopter with the film crew on in nearly every fucking overhead shot. Class

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Guest Trumpton  Bacon
7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A comparable show, Hornblower, however was superb and a lavish production, only slightly marred by the flintlock rifles and pistols obviously having barrels made of 1mm walled steel tubing. The firearms of the period would have been quarter inch walled hexagonal forged. But aside from that, it's above criticism as far as capturing the atmosphere of life at sea during the napoleonic wars.

Excellent and concise. Mark Kermode better fucking watch out.

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7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

A comparable show, Hornblower, however was superb and a lavish production, only slightly marred by the flintlock rifles and pistols obviously having barrels made of 1mm walled steel tubing. The firearms of the period would have been quarter inch walled hexagonal forged. But aside from that, it's above criticism as far as capturing the atmosphere of life at sea during the napoleonic wars.

Wow. It must have been great experiencing the atmosphere of life at sea during the Napoleonic Wars. You are such a lucky man.

Or kidding us.

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