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Tata Steely Dan

Elf on a fucking Shelf

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Another fucking moronic American form of bullshit thrust upon us for no reason. Some creepy little gnome cunt is meant to be watching your children every day between "Thanksgiving" (retarded American festival of obesity) and Christmas. Or some shite like that. Sounds like something a paedophile would come up with.

Saw this shit for sale at the weekend. "The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition". Where is this a tradition? Jimmy Savile's house? It isn't a tradition. Some daft yank woman wrote a book in 2005.I know that 12 years is about one tenth the total age of the United States, but that does not constitute (geddit?) a 'Tradition' on these shores. Fuck off.

Funny-Elf-Shelf-Ideas.jpg

 

Paedos want this in your house.

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45 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Better than a Trump on a stump 

Unless he's impaled on it through the chest!

43 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Dick on a stick?

Frank?  

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On 06/12/2017 at 7:36 PM, Tata Steely Dan said:

Another fucking moronic American form of bullshit thrust upon us for no reason. Some creepy little gnome cunt is meant to be watching your children every day between "Thanksgiving" (retarded American festival of obesity) and Christmas. Or some shite like that. Sounds like something a paedophile would come up with.

Saw this shit for sale at the weekend. "The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition". Where is this a tradition? Jimmy Savile's house? It isn't a tradition. Some daft yank woman wrote a book in 2005.I know that 12 years is about one tenth the total age of the United States, but that does not constitute (geddit?) a 'Tradition' on these shores. Fuck off.

Funny-Elf-Shelf-Ideas.jpg

 

Paedos want this in your house.

Great nom. Mrs B was telling me about this shite the other day, after being told how her friends in work were doing crazy things with it for their kids. Now usually it takes considerable alcohol for me to converse with her, but this time I was sober and had to cut her off with a swift right hook, I mean, she bumped into a door as she’s a clumsy so-and-so.

Anyway, have you heard about the ‘night before Christmas box’? It’s another retail-sector invented pile of wank for gullible cunts/point-scoring divorced parents. 

Bah cuntbug. 

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On 12/10/2017 at 9:32 PM, Bubba C said:

Now usually it takes considerable alcohol for me to converse with her, but this time I was sober and had to cut her off with a swift right hook, I mean, she bumped into a door as she’s a clumsy so-and-so.

Who says the Welsh aren't a romantic lot?

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4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

Supposed to be going to a Christmas Lunch today .. the weird cunts are holding it in a vegan restaurant :(

That is their way of telling you that they HAD to invite you, but don't want you to turn up.  Or in more common terms, "fuck off, Pen, you're not wanted here!"

You've heard that before, I'm sure.  

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7 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Well done Wiz. I didn't want to say this myself for fear of offending the piss stinking, retarded old slag.

The very worst that could happen is you feel a sudden stabbing pain in your belly from where she jabs the needle in the miniature voodoo version of you.  Now if it were Punkape....

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On 14/12/2017 at 11:38 AM, Lady Penelope said:

Supposed to be going to a Christmas Lunch today .. the weird cunts are holding it in a vegan restaurant :(

Are they fuckin' gay?

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18 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

I fucked off to a Wetherspoons instead.

Tell you truth you old mangled bint, you never got invited anywhere.

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On 12/15/2017 at 10:15 PM, Lady Penelope said:

I fucked off to a Wetherspoons instead.

Yes, but are they fuckin' gay?

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