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Cunt Christmas presents.


Jake The Muss

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It won't be long til Cuntmas and opening a few crappy pressies from cunts you don't like and they probably don't like you. Clothes that are too big or too small, the worst smelling fragrances on the planet, i was going to say known to mankind but there are some loony lefties on here and i didn't want to be accused of being sexist. I'm sure the pound shops make a wonderful profit this time of year and who knows, this time next year, you might be able to buy your turkey from a pound shop.

So what's your worst presents you have had over the years ?

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Guest judgetwi

One of those faux leather passport covers and a pile of travel brochures. On the top brochure was a post-it note which read “ fuck off and don’t come back.”

 

Cunts.

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Guest Trumpton  Bacon
6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

A used tube of Anusol marked “ sorry to have been such a pain in your arse all year”. 

Cunt. 

Still, he’s dead now. 

Hung himself. 

Sorry for the loss of your boyfriend Doc. Anyway, you're a free agent now and so is Punkape. Go on, fill his eighteenth hole.

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Guest Bill Stickers

What a load of old cock this nomination is.

I'm pretty sure I heard the local women's institute discuss their worst Xmas presents last time I was hiding in their village hall peeping and wanking.

You literally nominate the same subject matter that old ladies and tween magazines discuss.

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19 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

What a load of old cock this nomination is.

I'm pretty sure I heard the local women's institute discuss their worst Xmas presents last time I was hiding in their village hall peeping and wanking.

You literally nominate the same subject matter that old ladies and tween magazines discuss.

Bill, would you please kindly remove yourself from any further participation on this thread and kindly remove yourself from the sub human race as they don't want you either. Take your childish toddler antics to the open corner and wait for me there, i will be along shortly to embarrass you some more.

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18 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

What a load of old cock this nomination is.

I'm pretty sure I heard the local women's institute discuss their worst Xmas presents last time I was hiding in their village hall peeping and wanking.

You literally nominate the same subject matter that old ladies and tween magazines discuss.

You're defiantly on FCs naughty list this year billiam. All those spells in the cooler for acting the gobshite won't go unnoticed by the big fella. The worst present for the corner would be that you didn't drink yourself to death, fail to brain haemorrhage from bad wanger or not get brutally raped to death by a gang of Somali immigrants this festive period. 

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Guest Bill Stickers
28 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

Bill, would you please kindly remove yourself from any further participation on this thread and kindly remove yourself from the sub human race as they don't want you either. Take your childish toddler antics to the open corner and wait for me there, i will be along shortly to embarrass you some more.

 

26 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

You're defiantly on FCs naughty list this year billiam. All those spells in the cooler for acting the gobshite won't go unnoticed by the big fella. The worst present for the corner would be that you didn't drink yourself to death, fail to brain haemorrhage from bad wanger or not get brutally raped to death by a gang of Somali immigrants this festive period. 

Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too.

A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Worst gift ever, was what was supposed to be a laptop computer cooling fan, powered by USB.  The fucking thing got hotter than the computer!  I'm glad I let my wife give it the first run, as it heated her amazonian forest down to a very short, well manicured bonsai!  

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9 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

 

Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too.

A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one.

Give it a rest bill, you take things far too seriously here, it's just lads having a laugh.

On that note, please divulge some tales of your recent stay in the cooler for abject thickness. You lifers really should behave a bit more. Was it worse than your previous multiple month incarceration for crimes untold (probably acting like a silly little cunt unable to stick to the rules)? Did you finger dings arsehole in solitary? And did frank, decs and bubba visit so you could smash one out, Midnight Express style? 

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Guest Trumpton  Bacon
25 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

 

Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too.

A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one.

Evening Bill. Still working swing shift at the trombone factory?

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25 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

 

Here they are! The moron twins. Any moment the minion Snatch will pop his little peanut head up too.

A ragtag ramshackle slapdash clique if I ever saw one.

I have bought you a fanny trimmer for Cuntmas, as you behave like an old tart i thought you would appreciate it.

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16 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Worst gift ever, was what was supposed to be a laptop computer cooling fan, powered by USB.  The fucking thing got hotter than the computer!  I'm glad I let my wife give it the first run, as it heated her amazonian forest down to a very short, well manicured bonsai!  

Haha, does the wife use it regular now ?

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Guest Wizardsleeve
7 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

Haha, does the wife use it regular now ?

She prefers the large old cunt desktop.  She can sit in the nice chair, and tap away at the keys shopping for girly things and telling idiots on Facebook to fuck off.  

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Guest Wizardsleeve
4 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Good to see you're putting some time in on here 7s. I was worried you'd become a fair weather cunt. I've been holding up my end

You should be very careful doing that, Punkape is NOT currently in the cooler. 

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Guest Wizardsleeve
2 minutes ago, ratcum said:

I like old Punky.

I'm thinking of launching a range of preserves made out of dead royals.  Mountbatten Jam will have bits in it

He'll absolutely squeal in delight to read that. 

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