Bottled water in Europe.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

So the tap water in Europe is consistently shite, dangerous fare. As such you have to buy bottled shite, and that stuff always gives me the fear.

You have to go to some fucking dodgy tourist-mugging shop, pay money to some guy viewing you with contempt, to sneak a few bottles of this shite back to your hotel. Might as well buy a bootleg Clipper lighter and a novelty fridge magnet at the same time:

 

Just what? Can you point me in the direction of the aquifer this was abstracted from? Or the illicitly intercepted water main at the back of the disused bus garage. I'm sure the mob are in on this and all. This stuff might give me some gut-wretching disease, and I don't know it yet.  Thee might be microbes in there who set up shop in my optic nerves and turn me blind over the course of a long weekend.

Yet you see the locals, with their olive-tone skin and their superior sartorial elegance, shambling about with 2 litre flagons of the stuff, so it must be alright? This fuck-knows branded clear stuff that looks and acts like water.

Then you try and get smart and take 2 litres of this weird stuff to the beach, and it gets warm and you end up grinding sand into the screw-top. Crunch crunch, gulp gulp.

 

Just be a bit more like Scotland and figure out how to make acceptable water come out your fucking taps. 

Brexit means Brexit.

[Guest judgetwi]

....... or you could stay at home and stop boring the shit out of foreigners who don’t give a fuck about your moaning and groaning. 

[Guest luke swarm]

7 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

So the tap water in Europe is consistently shite, dangerous fare. As such you have to buy bottled shite, and that stuff always gives me the fear.

You have to go to some fucking dodgy tourist-mugging shop, pay money to some guy viewing you with contempt, to sneak a few bottles of this shite back to your hotel. Might as well buy a bootleg Clipper lighter and a novelty fridge magnet at the same time:

 

Just what? Can you point me in the direction of the aquifer this was abstracted from? Or the illicitly intercepted water main at the back of the disused bus garage. I'm sure the mob are in on this and all. This stuff might give me some gut-wretching disease, and I don't know it yet.  Thee might be microbes in there who set up shop in my optic nerves and turn me blind over the course of a long weekend.

Yet you see the locals, with their olive-tone skin and their superior sartorial elegance, shambling about with 2 litre flagons of the stuff, so it must be alright? This fuck-knows branded clear stuff that looks and acts like water.

Then you try and get smart and take 2 litres of this weird stuff to the beach, and it gets warm and you end up grinding sand into the screw-top. Crunch crunch, gulp gulp.

 

Just be a bit more like Scotland and figure out how to make acceptable water come out your fucking taps. 

Brexit means Brexit.

Tap water across the whole of Europe is put through rigorous monitoring and is perfectly safe, it may have regional taste differences but that does not affect it safety, only stupid soft cunts buy water or are in an airport where water bought in from outside the port is liable to explode spontaneously.

I would make one amendment to the statement above and that is that the water from North Wales is utter shite in quality and taste, but as its all piped down to supply the west midlands its deemed fit for purpose. I drive over to Buxton for my weekly supply.    

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

We have safe but very hard water in Sussex, tastes shite and furs kettles and scales toilets up in a week. May be safe but a lot of bottled water tastes better.

Louis Perrier and St John Harmsworth were cunts.

[Witheredscrote]

8 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

So the tap water in Europe is consistently shite, dangerous fare. As such you have to buy bottled shite, and that stuff always gives me the fear.

You have to go to some fucking dodgy tourist-mugging shop, pay money to some guy viewing you with contempt, to sneak a few bottles of this shite back to your hotel. Might as well buy a bootleg Clipper lighter and a novelty fridge magnet at the same time:

 

Just what? Can you point me in the direction of the aquifer this was abstracted from? Or the illicitly intercepted water main at the back of the disused bus garage. I'm sure the mob are in on this and all. This stuff might give me some gut-wretching disease, and I don't know it yet.  Thee might be microbes in there who set up shop in my optic nerves and turn me blind over the course of a long weekend.

Yet you see the locals, with their olive-tone skin and their superior sartorial elegance, shambling about with 2 litre flagons of the stuff, so it must be alright? This fuck-knows branded clear stuff that looks and acts like water.

Then you try and get smart and take 2 litres of this weird stuff to the beach, and it gets warm and you end up grinding sand into the screw-top. Crunch crunch, gulp gulp.

 

Just be a bit more like Scotland and figure out how to make acceptable water come out your fucking taps. 

Brexit means Brexit.

All this effort, and not one like. French water is excellent, my geese can't drink enough of it...

[Witheredscrote]

8 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

We have safe but very hard water in Sussex, tastes shite and furs kettles and scales toilets up in a week. May be safe but a lot of bottled water tastes better.

Louis Perrier and St John Harmsworth were cunts.

Is your brain furred up? Drink some Cillit Bang.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

7 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

All this effort, and not one like. French water is excellent, my geese can't drink enough of it...

Just liked it out of spite.

[Guest luke swarm]

5 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

All this effort, and not one like. French water is excellent, my geese can't drink enough of it...

Water is water, French water is for gay cunts who don't know how to order beer in restaurants. Here in the West Midlands if you order a mineral water in a pub, you are basically saying that you are available for bum sex.  

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

9 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Is your brain furred up? Drink some Cillit Bang.

Quoi, tu vis des oies jusqu'à ce que ta queue soit endolorie?

[Guest luke swarm]

10 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Quoi, tu vis des oies jusqu'à ce que ta queue soit endolorie?

cut that out, we will have no abusive bad language here.

[Cuntybaws]

9 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Just be a bit more like Scotland and figure out how to make acceptable water come out your fucking taps. 

You'd be safer just drinking your own piss than trusting the water in some further reaches of Europe, with the added bonus that it would have more alcohol and glucose in it.

[colonelkurtz]

We've been draining Ullswater and Thirlmere round these parts for longer than I can remember ... that Wordsworth must have thought us a right bunch of cunts.

[ratcum]

9 hours ago, judgetwi said:

....... or you could stay at home and stop boring the shit out of foreigners who don’t give a fuck about your moaning and groaning. 

fuck me

[Guest Bill Stickers]

You've really surpassed yourself on the niche, dog-shit nom front. 

[Decimus]

18 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

So the tap water in Europe is consistently shite, dangerous fare. As such you have to buy bottled shite, and that stuff always gives me the fear.

You have to go to some fucking dodgy tourist-mugging shop, pay money to some guy viewing you with contempt, to sneak a few bottles of this shite back to your hotel. Might as well buy a bootleg Clipper lighter and a novelty fridge magnet at the same time:

 

Just what? Can you point me in the direction of the aquifer this was abstracted from? Or the illicitly intercepted water main at the back of the disused bus garage. I'm sure the mob are in on this and all. This stuff might give me some gut-wretching disease, and I don't know it yet.  Thee might be microbes in there who set up shop in my optic nerves and turn me blind over the course of a long weekend.

Yet you see the locals, with their olive-tone skin and their superior sartorial elegance, shambling about with 2 litre flagons of the stuff, so it must be alright? This fuck-knows branded clear stuff that looks and acts like water.

Then you try and get smart and take 2 litres of this weird stuff to the beach, and it gets warm and you end up grinding sand into the screw-top. Crunch crunch, gulp gulp.

 

Just be a bit more like Scotland and figure out how to make acceptable water come out your fucking taps. 

Brexit means Brexit.

I can picture you now, Dan. Twelve chins quivering with rage as you park your fat fucking Scottish arse in a tiny, blue plastic chair at a Lineker's bar in Benidorm. Flinging your faeces around the room whilst incoherently screaming "egg and chips!" as the Dago waiter informs you that the special of the day is calamari.

[Guest Trumpton Bacon]

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

the special of the day is calamari.

Surely, you mean onion rings?

[Neil]

So they're the cunts here eh? When abroad you can buy 4 two litre bottles for less than a euro and yet here some stupid cunts pay  £1.50 for a small bottle,Brits need arse fucking for buying bottled water.

[Cap'n Cunt]

9 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

You'd be safer just drinking your own piss than trusting the water in some further reaches of Europe, with the added bonus that it would have more alcohol and glucose in it.

I like drinking my own piss. Even in non-survival situations, like when I'm watching telly. 

[Guest luke swarm]

8 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I like drinking my own piss. Even in non-survival situations, like when I'm watching telly. 

do you have to use a glass?

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

19 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

So the tap water in Europe is consistently shite, dangerous fare. As such you have to buy bottled shite, and that stuff always gives me the fear.

You have to go to some fucking dodgy tourist-mugging shop, pay money to some guy viewing you with contempt, to sneak a few bottles of this shite back to your hotel. Might as well buy a bootleg Clipper lighter and a novelty fridge magnet at the same time:

 

Just what? Can you point me in the direction of the aquifer this was abstracted from? Or the illicitly intercepted water main at the back of the disused bus garage. I'm sure the mob are in on this and all. This stuff might give me some gut-wretching disease, and I don't know it yet.  Thee might be microbes in there who set up shop in my optic nerves and turn me blind over the course of a long weekend.

Yet you see the locals, with their olive-tone skin and their superior sartorial elegance, shambling about with 2 litre flagons of the stuff, so it must be alright? This fuck-knows branded clear stuff that looks and acts like water.

Then you try and get smart and take 2 litres of this weird stuff to the beach, and it gets warm and you end up grinding sand into the screw-top. Crunch crunch, gulp gulp.

 

Just be a bit more like Scotland and figure out how to make acceptable water come out your fucking taps. 

Brexit means Brexit.

Better than the piss that comes out of taps in London. It is supposedly ok. Maybe it is ok, if you are a plant or a dump wanting flushed. 

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

I can picture you now, Dan. Twelve chins quivering with rage as you park your fat fucking Scottish arse in a tiny, blue plastic chair at a Lineker's bar in Benidorm. Flinging your faeces around the room whilst incoherently screaming "egg and chips!" as the Dago waiter informs you that the special of the day is calamari.

I did it all for you.

[Cap'n Cunt]

13 hours ago, luke swarm said:

do you have to use a glass?

Of course I use a glass. Do you think I'm some kind of philistine? 

[Guest luke swarm]

1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

Of course I use a glass. Do you think I'm some kind of philistine? 

forgive me, I thought you might drink it straight from source but that could sprain ones lower back I suppose.

[Stubby Pecker]

16 hours ago, Decimus said:

I can picture you now, Dan. Twelve chins quivering with rage as you park your fat fucking Scottish arse in a tiny, blue plastic chair at a Lineker's bar in Benidorm. Flinging your faeces around the room whilst incoherently screaming "egg and chips!" as the Dago waiter informs you that the special of the day is calamari.

You used the quivering 12 chins shit yesterday dipshit in yet another missive from our self proclaimed leading idiot. Up your game.

[Decimus]

16 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

You used the quivering 12 chins shit yesterday dipshit in yet another missive from our self proclaimed leading idiot. Up your game.

Morning, Stubby. I haven't got you scheduled in for a thrashing until mid-afternoon, so if you wouldn't mind chucking a bucket of ice water over your excited maggot and calming the fuck down until then it would be much appreciated. 

Ta.