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TA - Travel Anouncements


Ape™️

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I’m sure many of you will be familiar with this feature of car radios, where the station you are listening to can be interrupted by local travel announcements, to keep you informed of any problems in the area you’re currently travelling through. In principle, a great idea that could help avoid some massive great traffic jam. However, in reality, a complete load of utter fucking shit. A traffic warning is only of use if the information it contains is both accurate, current and timely. Travelling back from London to Gloucester today, in fucking atrocious conditions, I was only made aware of trouble on both the M4 and the A417 after I was already well and truly fucked. Absolutely no warning whatsoever. Complete load of utter fucking shit.

Fuck off.

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33 minutes ago, Ape said:

I’m sure many of you will be familiar with this feature of car radios, where the station you are listening to can be interrupted by local travel announcements, to keep you informed of any problems in the area you’re currently traveling through. In principle, a great idea that could help avoid some massive great traffic jam. However, in reality, a complete load of utter fucking shit. A traffic warning is only of use if the information it contains is both accurate, current and timely. Travelling back from London to Gloucester today, in fucking atrocious conditions, I was only made aware of trouble on both the M4 and the A417 after I was already well and truly fucked. Absolutely no warning whatsoever. Complete load of utter fucking shit.

Fuck off.

It’s a pity you didn’t skid on a patch of black ice, go under the wheels of a large Hgv and then get trapped in your own burning vehicle.....

lol.

lol.

Fuck off.

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Guest luke swarm
35 minutes ago, Ape said:

I’m sure many of you will be familiar with this feature of car radios, where the station you are listening to can be interrupted by local travel announcements, to keep you informed of any problems in the area you’re currently traveling through. In principle, a great idea that could help avoid some massive great traffic jam. However, in reality, a complete load of utter fucking shit. A traffic warning is only of use if the information it contains is both accurate, current and timely. Travelling back from London to Gloucester today, in fucking atrocious conditions, I was only made aware of trouble on both the M4 and the A417 after I was already well and truly fucked. Absolutely no warning whatsoever. Complete load of utter fucking shit.

Fuck off.

I have been trying for years to switch that TA function on my car radio off with absolutely no success. Other than switching the radio off it just keeps interrupting all the time with traffic alerts from Birmingham, fuckall use around the Wolverhampton area.

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51 minutes ago, Ape said:

I’m sure many of you will be familiar with this feature of car radios, where the station you are listening to can be interrupted by local travel announcements, to keep you informed of any problems in the area you’re currently travelling through. In principle, a great idea that could help avoid some massive great traffic jam. However, in reality, a complete load of utter fucking shit. A traffic warning is only of use if the information it contains is both accurate, current and timely. Travelling back from London to Gloucester today, in fucking atrocious conditions, I was only made aware of trouble on both the M4 and the A417 after I was already well and truly fucked. Absolutely no warning whatsoever. Complete load of utter fucking shit.

Fuck off.

I sincerely hope you suffer a massive heart attack this Christmas Ape. Ideally at the dinner table before the entire family. 

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2 hours ago, luke swarm said:

I have been trying for years to switch that TA function on my car radio off with absolutely no success. Other than switching the radio off it just keeps interrupting all the time with traffic alerts from Birmingham, fuckall use around the Wolverhampton area.

I'm in the same boat when comes to mrs peckers car, swam. There I am humming away to the usual nursery rhyme CD and on comes some cunt telling me to avoid the Gloucester ring road or stonehouse or some other local shit hole. 

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1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I'm in the same boat when comes to mrs peckers car, swam. There I am humming away to the usual nursery rhyme CD and on comes some cunt telling me to avoid the Gloucester ring road or stonehouse or some other local shit hole. 

Did you grow up with the fruit picking West family in Gloucester ?

lol.

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4 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Did you grow up the fruit picking West family in Gloucester ?

lol.

Don't get me wrong, P. I hate Stubby and think that he should fuck off and never post here again. No one would miss him as his contributions thus far have only contained numerous repetitious ways of killing someone in a wood chipper and/or soft porn swim suit shots.

However, consider yourself reported.

Idiot.

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23 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Did you grow up the fruit picking West family in Gloucester ?

lol.

What’s wrong with you? Seriously, you’re not wired up correctly are you? The diet of semen you indulge in has addled your tiny brain. It’s best for all concerned, and by that I mean everyone currently alive on planet earth, if you kill yourself immediately.  

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Guest Lady Penelope

 

3 hours ago, luke swarm said:

I have been trying for years to switch that TA function on my car radio off with absolutely no success. Other than switching the radio off it just keeps interrupting all the time with traffic alerts from Birmingham, fuckall use around the Wolverhampton area.

A bit like the pagers we were issued with on the trains in the early 2000s. It was really useful to know about a points failure at Redruth when you were on the Shrewsbury to Crewe local.

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2 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

 

A bit like the pagers we were issued with on the trains in the early 2000s. It was really useful to know about a points failure at Redruth when you were on the Shrewsbury to Crewe local.

Were you a train “hostess” before you went “on the game”.?

lol.

 

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Guest luke swarm
18 minutes ago, Ape said:

What’s wrong with you? Seriously, you’re not wired up correctly are you? The diet of semen you indulge in has addled your tiny brain. It’s best for all concerned, and by that I mean everyone currently alive on planet earth, if you kill yourself immediately.  

you are what you eat they say Ape, This weekend I think Pinkape has been consuming a far larger dosage of African Athletes fruit than normal for him, judging by his increasingly manic and erratic posting......I only hope Roops or Rick see fit to resting him further over the coming days.

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1 minute ago, luke swarm said:

you are what you eat they say Ape, This weekend I think Pinkape has been consuming a far larger dosage of African Athletes fruit than normal for him, judging by his increasingly manic and erratic posting......I only hope Roops or Rick see fit to resting him further over the coming days.

He’s just liked one of “Lady” Penelope’s posts. He’s clearly out of his tiny mind.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

My advice would be to stop wasting your money on kids toys and invest in an up to date sat nav that automatically re-route around traffic issues. My Focus successfully saved me 45 minutes of delays on the A14 last week as it thought it would be better driving through the centre of Newmarket. 50 minutes later on I was back on the A14, but the other side of the traffic jam. What a fucking result.

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5 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

My advice would be to stop wasting your money on kids toys and invest in an up to date sat nav that automatically re-route around traffic issues. My Focus successfully saved me 45 minutes of delays on the A14 last week as it thought it would be better driving through the centre of Newmarket. 50 minutes later on I was back on the A14, but the other side of the traffic jam. What a fucking result.

I have NEVER met the "slow traffic ahead" that my car's satnav warns me of. I find circling vultures are the best indication of trouble ahead. That and a mushroom cloud.

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7 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

My advice would be to stop wasting your money on kids toys and invest in an up to date sat nav that automatically re-route around traffic issues. My Focus successfully saved me 45 minutes of delays on the A14 last week as it thought it would be better driving through the centre of Newmarket. 50 minutes later on I was back on the A14, but the other side of the traffic jam. What a fucking result.

Drew, we all know the only car journey you ever make is to the off-licence, so fuck off.

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