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"Remember <insert 80's product/event/celebrity here>? Oh, it were magic weren't it? I remember eating me Mam's mushy peas and chips when I saw it on't telly!"

*audience doubled over in hysterics and applause*

Am I missing something with this fat cunt? Nostalgia =/= comedy as far as I'm concerned. If they were merely laughing at what a cholesterol-caching fucking butterblimp he is, I'd be inclined to chuckle along, but 100 dates of people paying real money to hear this twat waffle on about utter Lanc-wank shit completely baffles the tits off me. Each to their own and all that, but if someone I'm talking to quotes this cunt, or even mentions their lack of disdain for him, I'll just automatically assume that they aren't exactly the brightest ember in the fire.


 

 

 

 

 

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

Peter Kay was lampooned perfectly in this Shooting Stars sketch:

 

It says a lot about how shit Peter Kay is as a comedian, that a totally shit-tier rehash of Shooting Stars can send him up long after their weird humour turned to shit.

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10 minutes ago, Decimus said:

He's made a career out of being a professional northerner.

A vile fat cunt who I'd wager absolutely fucking stinks of two week old Billy Bear ham.

I don't like Peter Kay. Or any other regional comedian. That fucks off Jasper Carrot, Billy Connelly, Max Boyce, Jethroe and fucking Jedward. In fact, the biggest laugh I ever get is looking for cunts I don't like in the death column of the local rag.

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5 minutes ago, Manky said:

I don't like Peter Kay. Or any other regional comedian. That fucks off Jasper Carrot, Billy Connelly, Max Boyce, Jethroe and fucking Jedward. In fact, the biggest laugh I ever get is looking for cunts I don't like in the death column of the local rag.

Agreed.

The majority of these regional comedians seem to base their entire act around the fact that they have an accent.

That swivel-eyed cunt Russell Howard is the worst culprit, punctuating every punchline with a Bristolian accent in attempt to detract from the fact that he's about as funny as waking up confused and with a sore arse in Alan Bennett's bed.

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57 minutes ago, Decimus said:

He's made a career out of being a professional northerner.

A vile fat cunt who I'd wager absolutely fucking stinks of two week old Billy Bear ham.

I knew I'd liked a "Billy Bear" comment once before. It would be churlish and inconsistent not to reward this latest reference likewise.

 

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46 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I wish some cunt would eat Sarah Millican.

 

41 minutes ago, Decimus said:

They'd have to swallow the magic flashing pill first and turn the tables on her. The fat cunt is like Pac Man, gobbling up everything in fucking sight.

She is about as funny as botulism, I agree, but I saw her other half by chance recently, after a mate got me a ticket, and it's the most I've laughed at a live comedy gig in fucking ages. He must hand all his shit jokes down to her. She probably eats them too.

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1 hour ago, nocti said:

 

She is about as funny as botulism, I agree, but I saw her other half by chance recently, after a mate got me a ticket, and it's the most I've laughed at a live comedy gig in fucking ages. He must hand all his shit jokes down to her. She probably eats them too.

I was dragged along to a Sunday night at the Palladium few years back and she was on the bill. The only reason I agreed to go was that Art Garfunkel was the headline act (he was awful), and her act consisted of stories on biscuits, cakes and cats. Utter drivel, in a monotonous whiney voice. 

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1 hour ago, nocti said:

She is about as funny as botulism, I agree, but I saw her other half by chance recently, after a mate got me a ticket, and it's the most I've laughed at a live comedy gig in fucking ages. He must hand all his shit jokes down to her. She probably eats them too.

I now judge all other comedians by the "Jerry Sadowitz" standard, and all are found wanting.

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Guest judgetwi

Kay is a bit too northern for my tastes but I much prefer him to the usual crowd of sneering, condescending right-on P fucking C pro-EU oh so metropolitan elitist arsewipes who infest Channel 4 and the Blairite Broadcasting Corporation.

 

Russell Brand is a CUNT.

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Guest judgetwi
1 hour ago, Ape said:

Didn’t Sadowitz believe Savile to be a paedophile years before it all came out?

Fuck me ,my old Mum knew about it  because she told me every time the cunt popped up on the telly.

 

Oh....and Esther ‘Childline’ Rantzen knew about it too the lying hypocritical old witch.

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8 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

Fuck me ,my old Mum knew about it  because she told me every time the cunt popped up on the telly.

 

Oh....and Esther ‘Childline’ Rantzen knew about it too the lying hypocritical old witch.

Yeah !

I mean if only Rantzen had been sleeping with the Head of General Features at the BBC, she might have been able to report it to him

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7 hours ago, Manky said:

I don't like Peter Kay. Or any other regional comedian. That fucks off Jasper Carrot, Billy Connelly, Max Boyce, Jethroe and fucking Jedward. In fact, the biggest laugh I ever get is looking for cunts I don't like in the death column of the local rag.

Jedward look like overstretched rent boys

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Guest Lady Penelope
7 hours ago, ratcum said:

good one jiggly. Remember her sidekick Cyril on That's Life? Cross-eyed fuck's dead now I hope

He's still alive and 143 years old and lives on Baffin Island.

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