Cap'n Cunt Posted December 28, 2017 Report Share Posted December 28, 2017 On 27/12/2017 at 7:40 PM, luke swarm said: I think Quincy may be able to help you in the random placing of faecal matter in your living quarters Cap, if you can get him on a Saturday after a night on the ale I think you would be in for a rare treat and no mistake. Thanks for the heads-up, however my interest in faecal matter is not a 'random placement' thing, this would amount to little more than a dirty protest or perhaps a Tracey Emin installation. My faecal interest is more focused and precise - I procure the services of busty ladies to defecate atop my glass-topped coffee table whilst I masturbate beneath. Did you not attend a public school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 29, 2017 Report Share Posted December 29, 2017 46 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Thanks for the heads-up, however my interest in faecal matter is not a 'random placement' thing, this would amount to little more than a dirty protest or perhaps a Tracey Emin installation. My faecal interest is more focused and precise - I procure the services of busty ladies to defecate atop my glass-topped coffee table whilst I masturbate beneath. Did you not attend a public school? I know a bloke in Cheshire who'd probably do that for a fiver and suck you off for a extra couple of quid. Ram golf clubs up his arse, and yours if you want, for free Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 It seems this gormless Hull Slag has been passed around by the Hurghada Prison Officers Association so much they’ve got bored of her crying while they molest her doughy arse. So today the Egyptian President will reportedly pardon the Chavvy Trollop, and I’m sure it’s completely all above board and absolutely no taxpayers money has changed hands for the soppy cow. Definitely. I can’t wait till she’s home on Humberside and our local Ron Burgandy, Peter Levy, can secure an interview with her, probing her more thoroughly than Egyptian customs on her ordeal and making her blub. Then she can pop along and see my colleagues in GU medicine who will happily burn off the inevitable genital warts for her and mop out her battered fanny with some cold Inadine; they might find a stray tramadol. Then it’ll be home to cry for hours in the shower. Doesn’t matter how many times you dunk it in Harpic love, you’ll never be clean again and no sane man will want you. Welcome home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couldn't give a shit Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 Just now, Last Cunt Standing said: It seems this gormless Hull Slag has been passed around by the Hurghada Prison Officers Association so much they’ve got bored of her crying while they molest her doughy arse. So today the Egyptian President will reportedly pardon the Chavvy Trollop, and I’m sure it’s completely all above board and absolutely no taxpayers money has changed hands for the soppy cow. Definitely. I can’t wait till she’s home on Humberside and our local Ron Burgandy, Peter Levy, can secure an interview with her, probing her more thoroughly than Egyptian customs on her ordeal and making her blub. Then she can pop along and see my colleagues in GU medicine who will happily burn off the inevitable genital warts for her and mop out her battered fanny with some cold Inodine; they might find a stray tramadol. Then it’ll be home to cry for hours in the shower. Doesn’t matter how many times you dunk it in Harpic love, you’ll never be clean again and no sane man will want you. Welcome home! On the other hand, I hope the Egyptians have got a sense of humour and deport her to Bali with half a kilo of smack shoved up her twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 If this lady is released, give it a few days for the exclusive in a news rag of "her story". A handsome paycheque awaits. Max Clifford was a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 46 minutes ago, The Beast said: If this lady is released, give it a few days for the exclusive in a news rag of "her story". A handsome paycheque awaits. Max Clifford was a cunt. I'm going to put a tenner on her winning the next "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here". If she can eat Egyptian prison food, she can eat anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I'm going to put a tenner on her winning the next "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here". If she can eat Egyptian prison food, she can eat anything. I reckon @Quincy Cockfingers is the man to test your theory. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I'm going to put a tenner on her winning the next "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here". If she can eat Egyptian prison food, she can eat anything. If she is in the jungle next year, expect the newly single Ant “Forehead” McPartlin to steam on in for a bit of her hairy pie back at the Palazzo Versace. He’s quite used to rough Northern birds, and she can sort him out with some Trammies after he’s showed her his Witchetty Grub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couldn't give a shit Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 Just now, The Beast said: If this lady is released, give it a few days for the exclusive in a news rag of "her story". A handsome paycheque awaits. Max Clifford was a cunt. Not if the law of the land is applied correctly with regard to press payments to convicted criminals for stories about their crimes. Not to mention the possible charge she faces in the UK for exporting an illegally obtained controlled substance. The first article I see will be reported to the filth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: If she is in the jungle next year, expect the newly single Ant “Forehead” McPartlin to steam on in for a bit of her hairy pie back at the Palazzo Versace. He’s quite used to rough Northern birds, and she can sort him out with some Trammies after he’s showed her his Witchetty Grub. I'm not sure whether presenters are allowed to take part in the 'bushtucker' trials. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 Yes it seems that they have pardoned the dopey cow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 9 hours ago, Bubba C said: I reckon @Quincy Cockfingers is the man to test your theory. What’s this? Explain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 16 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: What’s this? Explain. Nevermind, you’re drunk. Have you had chance to review the terms of our reconciliation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted January 26, 2018 Report Share Posted January 26, 2018 6 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Nevermind, you’re drunk. Have you had chance to review the terms of our reconciliation? You both sleep with llamas... Yawn. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 27, 2018 Report Share Posted January 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Bubba C said: Nevermind, you’re drunk. Have you had chance to review the terms of our reconciliation? I so am not. What are these terms again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 27, 2018 Report Share Posted January 27, 2018 I suppose that in Hull she is now a celeb. I wonder if they will lay on a ticker tape parade.? This woman was guilty. In a sense, she has been very lucky. I wonder if she truly appreciates this or, will she peddle her time “in Hell” hard luck story for the rest of her life. No prizes for the correct answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 28, 2018 Report Share Posted January 28, 2018 On 27 January 2018 at 12:48 AM, Quincy Cockfingers said: I so am not. What are these terms again? Quincy you slag, steer clear of this welshist he'll have your jug eared head "rammed" through a stock fence in no time, the way he likes to approach his other girlfriends/victims Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 28, 2018 Report Share Posted January 28, 2018 4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Quincy you slag, steer clear of this welshist he'll have your jug eared head "rammed" through a stock fence in no time, the way he likes to approach his other girlfriends/victims Reported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 13 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Quincy you slag, steer clear of this welshist he'll have your jug eared head "rammed" through a stock fence in no time, the way he likes to approach his other girlfriends/victims You can have Quincyfuckingknifeinthebackfingers. Like yourself, he had the chance to apologise for his crimes against me and outright refused. Quincy, look what has befallen Stubby for crossing my path, he's a jibbering fucking mess. Prepare yourself, you're a marked cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 On 27/01/2018 at 7:12 AM, cuntspotter said: or, will she peddle her time “in Hell” hard luck story for the rest of her life. No prizes for the correct answer. The Engineer's Thumb". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 On 28/01/2018 at 5:42 PM, Stubby Pecker said: Quincy you slag, steer clear of this welshist he'll have your jug eared head "rammed" through a stock fence in no time, the way he likes to approach his other girlfriends/victims Shut up stubby, I can sort these “two” fuck sticks out without you dribbling about like a gay downs chap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 14 hours ago, Decimus said: You can have Quincyfuckingknifeinthebackfingers. Like yourself, he had the chance to apologise for his crimes against me and outright refused. Quincy, look what has befallen Stubby for crossing my path, he's a jibbering fucking mess. Prepare yourself, you're a marked cunt. If my crime be hilarity, I plead guilty. Your path, like many roads in the UK, has a white creamy line down the middle of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 11 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: If my crime be hilarity, I plead guilty. Your path, like many roads in the UK, has a white creamy line down the middle of it. Most spunk stained roads lead to the east, where you holiday no doubt: A house swap with decs only he stays to swap something with you in return for a dirty "mud" facial What you reading? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 22 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Most spunk stained roads lead to the east, where you holiday no doubt: A house swap with decs only he stays to swap something with you in return for a dirty "mud" facial What you reading? A great piece by “Dominos”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 29, 2018 Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5327317/Laura-Plummer-pardon-withdrawn.html You know what the secret to comedy is? Timing. I’d say the Egyptians have mastered it. Laughing my arse off. I wonder which guard will pull her in the nightly raffle tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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