Cap'n Cunt Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 (edited) Lonely? Depressed? No friends? Never fear, Mrs May has appointed a Minister for Loneliness who will come round to your residence and.... umm... stop you being lonely, in some way or another. Tracey Crouch, appointed as aforesaid Minister, is to 'continue the work of Jo Cox'. Edited January 17, 2018 by Mrs Roops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Lonely? Depressed? No friends? Never fear, Mrs May has appointed a Minister for Loneliness who will come round to your residence and.... umm... stop you being lonely, in some way or another. Tracey Crouch, appointed as aforesaid Minister, is to 'continue the work of Jo Cox'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 Can we also have a Minister for 'Hell is other people, keep these soppy cunts away from me and STOP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME!' please? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 Judging by the handful of punters who seem to permanently hang about The Corner, I have written to Ms Crouch noting the site's interest as a stakeholder within the scope of the government's strategic initiative to combat loneliness. I smell income stream potential here. The Corner is unique in that it provides sustenance and succour in equal measure to the comfortably smug as well as the ne'er do wells, the lucid and rational converse as equals with the deluded and deranged. With this in mind I propose CC seeks accreditation as a service provider to help the lonely and ameliorate the effects of isolation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 27 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: Judging by the handful of punters who seem to permanently hang about The Corner, I have written to Ms Crouch noting the site's interest as a stakeholder within the scope of the government's strategic initiative to combat loneliness. I smell income stream potential here. The Corner is unique in that it provides sustenance and succour in equal measure to the comfortably smug as well as the ne'er do wells, the lucid and rational converse as equals with the deluded and deranged. With this in mind I propose CC seeks accreditation as a service provider to help the lonely and ameliorate the effects of isolation. See if you can persuade her to spring for a job lot of fisting butter whilst you're at it. As a practical, much needed 'on the ground' measure I can't think of anything better in the crusade to combat loneliness. Not for me you understand. I crave solitude like Fletch did in that episode of Porridge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: With this in mind I propose CC seeks accreditation as a service provider to help the lonely and ameliorate the effects of isolation. Are we allowed to tell the cunts to kill themselves, or does that bugger up the longer-term cash flow projections? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: Judging by the handful of punters who seem to permanently hang about The Corner, I have written to Ms Crouch noting the site's interest as a stakeholder within the scope of the government's strategic initiative to combat loneliness. I smell income stream potential here. The Corner is unique in that it provides sustenance and succour in equal measure to the comfortably smug as well as the ne'er do wells, the lucid and rational converse as equals with the deluded and deranged. With this in mind I propose CC seeks accreditation as a service provider to help the lonely and ameliorate the effects of isolation. I think that some of the regulars will be rather cross about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: Judging by the handful of punters who seem to permanently hang about The Corner, I have written to Ms Crouch noting the site's interest as a stakeholder within the scope of the government's strategic initiative to combat loneliness. I smell income stream potential here. The Corner is unique in that it provides sustenance and succour in equal measure to the comfortably smug as well as the ne'er do wells, the lucid and rational converse as equals with the deluded and deranged. With this in mind I propose CC seeks accreditation as a service provider to help the lonely and ameliorate the effects of isolation. It's also an excellent recruiting ground for The Ratzi Party VOTE RAT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 I'LL BE BACK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, ratcum said: It's also an excellent recruiting ground for The Ratzi Party VOTE RAT Razi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 How can you call me lonely? I've got loads of friends in the cellar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 39 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Are we allowed to tell the cunts to kill themselves, or does that bugger up the longer-term cash flow projections? Whilst this would provide a solution in ending a lonely person's despair I don't think this sits well with the government's intentions. I will say that in order to save costs I have visited Eddie's firm's website and have nicked his Equality & Diversity Policy and used same in The Corner's submission for accreditation. Instructing punters to "kill yourself" is contrary to the spirit of the policy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Is this a lonely person? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 Frank's tune Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 38 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Is this a lonely person? Only her soft palate. Fucking hell... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 What a load of touchy feely old bollocks! No doubt suggested by some oily marketing cunt to convince us that the politicos really care about the plebs. Saggy May is so thick she can’t say no to anybody , especially when it comes to sucking EU cock. I’m going to write to this deeply unattractive Crouch bitch and give her some sob story about my crippling loneliness . Then i’m going to ask if her “ministry” can bung me a few hundred quid so I can go down the pub and meet some new friends. You never know , if I get my foot in the door first I might get away with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: Whilst this would provide a solution in ending a lonely person's despair I don't think this sits well with the government's intentions. I will say that in order to save costs I have visited Eddie's firm's website and have nicked his Equality & Diversity Policy and used same in The Corner's submission for accreditation. Instructing punters to "kill yourself" is contrary to the spirit of the policy. The drink bleach part is hidden in the small print. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 I am not lonely because I hate people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 5 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: Judging by the handful of punters who seem to permanently hang about The Corner, I have written to Ms Crouch noting the site's interest as a stakeholder within the scope of the government's strategic initiative to combat loneliness. I smell income stream potential here. The Corner is unique in that it provides sustenance and succour in equal measure to the comfortably smug as well as the ne'er do wells, the lucid and rational converse as equals with the deluded and deranged. With this in mind I propose CC seeks accreditation as a service provider to help the lonely and ameliorate the effects of isolation. I'm trying to work out who's more likely to be lonely. People who post on here, or those who give up their free time to run and moderate the place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 9 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: I'm trying to work out who's more likely to be lonely. People who post on here, or those who give up their free time to run and moderate the place? Ouch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 8 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Fucking hell. I'd rather be lonely, and gay. In that order, before anyone gets any ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Fucking hell. I'd rather be lonely, and gay. In that order, before anyone gets any ideas. Why have they picked her. She's never encountered cox in her life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 12 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Fucking hell. I'd rather be lonely, and gay. In that order, before anyone gets any ideas. "Rather be"? You are! Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 1 hour ago, William T.D. Stickers said: I'm trying to work out who's more likely to be lonely. People who post on here, or those who give up their free time to run and moderate the place? A reluctantly respected adversary you may be, but credit where it's due. Fucking good shot (not on your side). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted January 17, 2018 Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 2 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: I'm trying to work out who's more likely to be lonely. People who post on here, or those who give up their free time to run and moderate the place? Impossible to say Bill, but what would you think of fellow punter WS (name withheld for reasons of confidentiality) who levels of loneliness and isolation drove him to create several ID's and then instigated cordial conversations with himself before ensuring his sock-puppets awarded him "likes"? He's the sort of sad sack who, in all probability mails himself birthday and Christmas cards each year, don't cha think? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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