Jiggerycock Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 David Bryant on cryogenics! "Here's McFuck. He's got one in the house and two in the stink, with the Hammer. He needs to curl one out round the whimsical Italian and he'll then be sitting pretty on two's with only one end to go in this frond crockett. We'll be back for the stinking end - but first, over to the mental asylum where we've got Elise Christie in a straight-jacket" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 28 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: David Bryant on cryogenics! "Here's McFuck. He's got one in the house and two in the stink, with the Hammer. He needs to curl one out round the whimsical Italian and he'll then be sitting pretty on two's with only one end to go in this frond crockett. We'll be back for the stinking end - but first, over to the mental asylum where we've got Elise Christie in a straight-jacket" Do you think she maybe Linford's daughter, or John's granddaughter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 It's almost as boring as fishing, the bible, or keeping snakes as pets. Over £32M has been spent by UK sport on these Olympics and in excess of £5.5M of that went to fucking curling. As for Elise Christie, is she still alive? I fear she may well have died from dehydration due to all the blubbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 1 hour ago, DrCunt said: It's almost as boring as fishing, the bible, or keeping snakes as pets. Over £32M has been spent by UK sport on these Olympics and in excess of £5.5M of that went to fucking curling. As for Elise Christie, is she still alive? I fear she may well have died from dehydration due to all the blubbing. Would have been cheaper to just buy Elise a set of stablisers for her skates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 I enjoy curling. If I go more than a few hours without it, me gut starts to hurt. I curled one out an hour ago, it looked like the tail of an Anaconda slithering down the S-pipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: I enjoy curling. If I go more than a few hours without it, me gut starts to hurt. I curled one out an hour ago, it looked like the tail of an Anaconda slithering down the S-pipe. You might have ulcerative colitis. See a doctor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 1 minute ago, Last Cunt Standing said: You might have ulcerative colitis. See a doctor. Just too much fibre and veg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Just too much fibre and veg. According to my Ladybird Big Book of Jungle Animals, the Giant Anaconda has a pale skin and is covered in dark blotches. Like I said, produce a shit like that every few hours and it’s time for a visit from Mr Colonoscopy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 3 hours ago, DrCunt said: It's almost as boring as fishing, the bible, or keeping snakes as pets. Over £32M has been spent by UK sport on these Olympics and in excess of £5.5M of that went to fucking curling. As for Elise Christie, is she still alive? I fear she may well have died from dehydration due to all the blubbing. Apparently 'Arse sliding' is being considered for inclusion at the next winter Olympics. Team Britain is the hot favourites to take most of the medals due to its Olympic history of its athletes ending up on their arses. Elise Christie is favourite for the 400mtrs freestyle and the short track arse sliding race. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 10 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: According to my Ladybird Big Book of Jungle Animals, the Giant Anaconda has a pale skin and is covered in dark blotches. Like I said, produce a shit like that every few hours and it’s time for a visit from Mr Colonoscopy. No man will go that route with me! Besides, going on your information the brown monster would be healthy if not colossal. Just before flushing the thing, I said "fuck off Frank!" An easy mistake to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted February 18, 2018 Report Share Posted February 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: No man will go that route with me! Besides, going on your information the brown monster would be healthy if not colossal. Just before flushing the thing, I said "fuck off Frank!" An easy mistake to make. I to enjoying a good curling once or twice a day, and fuck me sideways if I don't should "fuck off @Frank" as well when flushing the dirty bum sausage Shits, giggles and japery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 13 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Apparently 'Arse sliding' is being considered for inclusion at the next winter Olympics. Team Britain is the hot favourites to take most of the medals due to its Olympic history of its athletes ending up on their arses. Elise Christie is favourite for the 400mtrs freestyle and the short track arse sliding race. The stupid lachrymose cunt was disqualified in all 3 of her events in 2014 too. What was that definition of insanity again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 18 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: David Bryant on cryogenics! My father was a bowler (proper bowls, not that gay fucking crown green shite) and he swore by this Bryant chap. Having skimmed "Bryant on Bowls", I thought he was a cunt myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Extremecunt Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Not bad for a fucking disaster artist. I just watched 30 people being microwaved in a gigantic microwave on potato defrost. Didn't get the desired results lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Extremecunt Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Cheeerio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 2 hours ago, Extremecunt said: Cheeerio Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 apparently one of the Russians has been disqualified because of the use of drugs in the "Russian" team. This puzzles me as the only thing that I can see that may be deemed performance enhancing in the "sport" of curling is probably LSD or magic mushrooms. Seeing lurid hallucinations would be positively beneficial in what is after all just playing Bowls on ice......also what the fuck are those cunts always brushing the ice for, its OCD gone mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 32 minutes ago, luke swarm said: apparently one of the Russians has been disqualified because of the use of drugs in the "Russian" team. This puzzles me as the only thing that I can see that may be deemed performance enhancing in the "sport" of curling is probably LSD or magic mushrooms. Seeing lurid hallucinations would be positively beneficial in what is after all just playing Bowls on ice......also what the fuck are those cunts always brushing the ice for, its OCD gone mad. There’s no Russian team there.They’ve been banned for cheating. Get your facts right Swarm before you start eulogising and pontificating on here you smarmy sod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 5 minutes ago, Punkape said: There’s no Russian team there.They’ve been banned for cheating. Get your facts right Swarm before you start eulogising and pontificating on here you smarmy sod. you utterly thick turd......Russians are competing under the Olympic association flag, those that have no morals at all, the cheating cunt in question even had Russian Olympiad printed on his t shirt if you watch the report. you see it does not matter what you do Pinkape, you are always going to be a wrong un. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 3 minutes ago, Punkape said: There’s no Russian team there.They’ve been banned for cheating. Get your facts right Swarm before you start eulogising and pontificating on here you smarmy sod. You thick illiterate total cunt. Read and reread the post properly and then maybe by the end of next week you may understand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 34 minutes ago, Albert Ross said: You thick illiterate total cunt. Read and reread the post properly and then maybe by the end of next week you may understand it. Good work, Albert! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 13 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Good work, Albert! Sleeve, could you please think before wildly handing out likes to all and sundry, your recent like has pushed Bert into a 10% like average and now gives him a sort of tenous legitimacy. You can see what irresponsible liking can lead to cant you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 5 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Sleeve, could you please think before wildly handing out likes to all and sundry, your recent like has pushed Bert into a 10% like average and now gives him a sort of tenous legitimacy. You can see what irresponsible liking can lead to cant you. I had to Swarm. For the first time, the cunt made me laugh. I believe in positive reinforcement, but he has a long way to go before anybody actually "likes" him as a human being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 15 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: I had to Swarm. For the first time, the cunt made me laugh. I believe in positive reinforcement, but he has a long way to go before anybody actually "likes" him as a human being. Who says I'm a huperson being? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 36 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Sleeve, could you please think before wildly handing out likes to all and sundry, your recent like has pushed Bert into a 10% like average and now gives him a sort of tenous legitimacy. You can see what irresponsible liking can lead to cant you. Tenous? Cant? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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