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Steph McGovern of BBC Breakfast


Last Cunt Standing

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How is this humanly possible?...not her being pregnant but someone fucking blind enough to chuck their beans up her chuff.Im sure that was probably when sick appeared,when the poor fucker opened his eyes and realised he was fucking a horse.

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She is proof that the only pretty lesbos are the lipstick ones in blueys and they're usually fond of a bit of pork sword too.Dykes are dykes because no bloke would ever fucking go near them.

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1 hour ago, Neil said:

She is proof that the only pretty lesbos are the lipstick ones in blueys and they're usually fond of a bit of pork sword too.Dykes are dykes because no bloke would ever fucking go near them.

 A quick roll call of celebrity rugmunchers between overs from NW8.....

Toksvig S, Davidson R, Butcher P, Goodyear J, Balding C, Perkins S, Calman S, Cameron R, Black MP, M.

And now the fucking Teeside Homunculus joins the Dungaree Club.

Muffdivery might explain her pronounced masseter muscle I suppose, but I suspect Alex Jones won’t be joining her for another series of “Howay man, get yersel doon Aldi” or whatever it’s called. Bad for the homely Valleys girl brand, see.

I did once suggest dear Steph was appointed by a BBC Lesbian but I never expected herself to be a Fishknuckle. I thought women had more taste. 

Yuk. 

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Guest DrCunt
4 minutes ago, Neil said:

It's ironic that the only suitably extra large jowelled dyke that would ever have enough capacity to lick out her bucket sized fanny is herself.A cunt indeed

Jane Hill, another BBC comfortable shoe wearer, would be man enough for the job.

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  • 3 months later...

The undisputed ugliest Dyke in England will only just be finishing bathing her battered flaps in a postpartum sitz bath when it’ll be time to start her new morning gig on Channel 4 in 2020. I do hope the airwaves will be filled with sugary nonsense about her and the sardine-fingered girlfriend adjusting to motherhood. No doubt a fat cheque will accompany her new position as Britain’s answer to Ellen DeGeneres.

Boxtickery makes me wants to fucking vomit. 

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  • 2 months later...

This cunt is back on the BBC tonight. Quoting from the Radio Times:

"Easy Ways to Live Well, BBC One's new series, sees celebrity chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and presenter Steph McGovern tackle the latest science around health."

Why in the name of all the little fucks are they still throwing licence payers' money at this plug-ugly, sag-titted northern she-man? What possible qualifications does she have for this gig? Well, apparently, "My IBS regularly made me so bloated people thought I was pregnant."

Could someone watch this for me and report back on just exactly how awful it was? I don't think my stomach is strong enough to sit through any of it.

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1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

This cunt is back on the BBC tonight. Quoting from the Radio Times:

"Easy Ways to Live Well, BBC One's new series, sees celebrity chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and presenter Steph McGovern tackle the latest science around health."

Why in the name of all the little fucks are they still throwing licence payers' money at this plug-ugly, sag-titted northern she-man? What possible qualifications does she have for this gig? Well, apparently, "My IBS regularly made me so bloated people thought I pregnant."

Could someone watch this for me and report back on just exactly how awful it was? I don't think my stomach is strong enough to sit through any of it.

once, when utterly pissed, I fucked a shed. Or at least I thought it was shed until you got me thinking it might have been Steph McGovern instead CB. I feel debased and violated and my love of small wooden structures is in tatters

You oily heap of shit

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On a related BBC spaz presenter matter.....I wish that one armed bandida Lucy Martin would drop her insistence on going bare back and adopt a fucking prosthetic, or a twig, or a spatula or something, I missed the gist of the weather forecast again due to being mesmerised by her twitching fucking stump, for fucks sake.

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1 hour ago, BuggerLugs said:

On a related BBC spaz presenter matter.....I wish that one armed bandida Lucy Martin would drop her insistence on going bare back and adopt a fucking prosthetic, or a twig, or a spatula or something, I missed the gist of the weather forecast again due to being mesmerised by her twitching fucking stump, for fucks sake.

You wouldn't mind it for a cock.

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12 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

This cunt is back on the BBC tonight. Quoting from the Radio Times:

"Easy Ways to Live Well, BBC One's new series, sees celebrity chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and presenter Steph McGovern tackle the latest science around health."

Why in the name of all the little fucks are they still throwing licence payers' money at this plug-ugly, sag-titted northern she-man? What possible qualifications does she have for this gig? Well, apparently, "My IBS regularly made me so bloated people thought I was pregnant."

Could someone watch this for me and report back on just exactly how awful it was? I don't think my stomach is strong enough to sit through any of it.

My views on the Teeside homunculus are a matter of record. I’m bloody glad this latest televisual shite will never make its way over here, the drawling accent and prominent chin would confuse the Australian viewer hugely, who would conclude not unreasonably that some sort of chromosome issue was at play. Fuck knows what the nipper will look like. I haven’t given up on the IBS diagnosis myself, and look forward to the Hello photoshoot of a gurning Steph clutching a swaddled eight-pound turd. 

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8 hours ago, BuggerLugs said:

On a related BBC spaz presenter matter.....I wish that one armed bandida Lucy Martin would drop her insistence on going bare back and adopt a fucking prosthetic, or a twig, or a spatula or something, I missed the gist of the weather forecast again due to being mesmerised by her twitching fucking stump, for fucks sake.

The thumb stump has its own equity card, can be booked for weddings and bar mitzvahs, and is rumoured to be lined up for Question of Sport when old Ma Barker hangs up her V necked pullover. 

Bring back Suzanne Charlton I say. You’d never get through a forecast without wondering if one day she’d end up with her Dad’s hair. 

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13 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

This cunt is back on the BBC tonight. Quoting from the Radio Times:

"Easy Ways to Live Well, BBC One's new series, sees celebrity chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and presenter Steph McGovern tackle the latest science around health."

Why in the name of all the little fucks are they still throwing licence payers' money at this plug-ugly, sag-titted northern she-man? What possible qualifications does she have for this gig? Well, apparently, "My IBS regularly made me so bloated people thought I was pregnant."

Could someone watch this for me and report back on just exactly how awful it was? I don't think my stomach is strong enough to sit through any of it.

Good lady Jiggers had this cathode-ray piece of shit (the programme or La McGovern - take your pick) and I caught some of it, happily before tea, meaning the nausea it induced was controlable, you'll be pleased to hear.

One little vignette to send you into your Thursday: Ms McGovern had her turds checked for gastric function and general digestive tract well-being, and scored worse than a Minkie Whale force fed rancid chip fat its entire life.

Now if that little cameo isn't enough to sort out your premature ejaculation issues, then nothing will

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55 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Good lady Jiggers had this cathode-ray piece of shit (the programme or La McGovern - take your pick) and I caught some of it, happily before tea, meaning the nausea it induced was controlable, you'll be pleased to hear.

One little vignette to send you into your Thursday: Ms McGovern had her turds checked for gastric function and general digestive tract well-being, and scored worse than a Minkie Whale force fed rancid chip fat its entire life.

Now if that little cameo isn't enough to sort out your premature ejaculation issues, then nothing will

If one of these unfortunate leviathans was off the coast of Tyneside there's a good chance the poor cunt might suck down one of Stephs floaters instead of the aforementioned rancid chip fat. I'm guessing if given the choice Mr Minkie would take the latter.

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4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Now if that little cameo isn't enough to sort out your premature ejaculation issues, then nothing will

If by this you mean, "You will probably never, ever be able to cum again", then I very much fear you may be correct.

Oh well, I've had a good innings and it was fun while it lasted.

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  • 5 months later...
On 23/01/2020 at 15:27, Last Cunt Standing said:

My views on the Teeside homunculus are a matter of record. I’m bloody glad this latest televisual shite will never make its way over here, the drawling accent and prominent chin would confuse the Australian viewer hugely, who would conclude not unreasonably that some sort of chromosome issue was at play. Fuck knows what the nipper will look like. I haven’t given up on the IBS diagnosis myself, and look forward to the Hello photoshoot of a gurning Steph clutching a swaddled eight-pound turd. 

I thought I was safe from many things over here, but I’m broken-hearted to discover this fucker invading Australian screens now. The Steph Show, live from Yorkshire, with everyone’s favourite, La McGovern. What the fuck is going on over there if this is the best on offer? Nothing much has changed with her act it seems to me, tortured vowels and Why-aye fraudulent accentry mixed with chummy banter and winks to camera, though that could be a facial tic for all I know. The content of her magazine show is the usual One Show inspired dross. She could at least have the good grace to do a show with her strap-on displayed in the background like The Angel of The North. Cunt then, cunt now, cunt forever. 

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