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NHS Doctors Surgeries


Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches

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Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches

Right, let me assure you, I value the National Express as much the next working class man. However, my beef is the way the fucking Tories have managed to whittle it down to one appointment a month with a useless locum, installing a fob-off policy with ugly women who think they’ve got power at reception and an impossible phone in system in the morning that makes it impossible to get seen on the day. Which means no sleeping pills for Arthur. I dispair I really do. Bastards.

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1 hour ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

Right, let me assure you, I value the National Express as much the next working class man. However, my beef is the way the fucking Tories have managed to whittle it down to one appointment a month with a useless locum, installing a fob-off policy with ugly women who think they’ve got power at reception and an impossible phone in system in the morning that makes it impossible to get seen on the day. Which means no sleeping pills for Arthur. I dispair I really do. Bastards.

The NHS is a state-funded organisation left in turmoil under control of the last Labour government, and National Express is a gilt-edged example of a British private company doing rather well. Which distinction do you find difficult to grasp?

Stupid nomination.

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44 minutes ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

Right, let me assure you, I value the National Express as much the next working class man. However, my beef is the way the fucking Tories have managed to whittle it down to one appointment a month with a useless locum, installing a fob-off policy with ugly women who think they’ve got power at reception and an impossible phone in system in the morning that makes it impossible to get seen on the day. Which means no sleeping pills for Arthur. I dispair I really do. Bastards.

This nom is a work of Divine Comedy.

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Guest White van man
1 hour ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

Right, let me assure you, I value the National Express as much the next working class man. However, my beef is the way the fucking Tories have managed to whittle it down to one appointment a month with a useless locum, installing a fob-off policy with ugly women who think they’ve got power at reception and an impossible phone in system in the morning that makes it impossible to get seen on the day. Which means no sleeping pills for Arthur. I dispair I really do. Bastards.

I suggest you have a good nights sleep, then try again in the morning.

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1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

No need for sarcusm.

What are the odds on Albert pointing out your "error", do you reckon?

On a related note, I once tried to deliberately spell a word incorrectly, but I just couldn't go through with it. @Bubba C may have an explanation for this...

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2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

What are the odds on Albert pointing out your "error", do you reckon?

On a related note, I once tried to deliberately spell a word incorrectly, but I just couldn't go through with it. @Bubba C may have an explanation for this...

I think it likely that Albert will absolutely wet himself with excitement when he sees it. Blissfully unaware that it was an intentional follow on from your pointing out of Arthur's mistake, and of course frantically begin jabbing the 'cunt' button, not realising that he's using up all his allotted reactions and will not be able to lavish 'likes' on Pen, inevitably leading to her no longer sending him used Tena-Pads to sniff.

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Guest luke swarm
1 hour ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

Right, let me assure you, I value the National Express as much the next working class man. However, my beef is the way the fucking Tories have managed to whittle it down to one appointment a month with a useless locum, installing a fob-off policy with ugly women who think they’ve got power at reception and an impossible phone in system in the morning that makes it impossible to get seen on the day. Which means no sleeping pills for Arthur. I dispair I really do. Bastards.

why are you wasting your time pissing about seeing Doctors in Coach themed surgeries Arthur, surely you know that we have most of the professions lurking on this august site and that most problems can be dealt with here in a sensible measured fashion.

Now, whats the problem Mr Fuqs, Not sleeping well you say and feelings of anxiety keeping you awake at night, yes I see. Well there is a lot of it about and I am sure we can give you something to help. Here is a prescription that should settle the problem, take it directly to Poundland and buy the cheapest thick bleach available.......yes Domestos will be fine. Make sure you Drink at least half a litre at room temperature along with these caustic soda crystals I am providing.

Please call in again if the symptoms persist but I am confidant that the problem will disappear almost immediately. Close the door on your way out Mr Fucks      

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3 hours ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

Right, let me assure you, I value the National Express as much the next working class man. However, my beef is the way the fucking Tories have managed to whittle it down to one appointment a month with a useless locum, installing a fob-off policy with ugly women who think they’ve got power at reception and an impossible phone in system in the morning that makes it impossible to get seen on the day. Which means no sleeping pills for Arthur. I dispair I really do. Bastards.

Having spent the last fuck knows how many years in the triage room of various A&E's, I hear this fucking load of old wank all the time. "My GP does fuck all, the receptionist is a fucking nosey cunt". There aren't any appointments because the poor cunts at the surgery are full to the fucking rafters of time wasting cunts already. The phone is fucking red hot with hypochondriacs and panicking morons who can't self care with a stupid fucking minor illness. Now, most days and nights, the waiting rooms of A&E's are full of these incapable cunts.

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Guest Lady Penelope
14 minutes ago, The Beast said:

Having spent the last fuck knows how many years in the triage room of various A&E's, I hear this fucking load of old wank all the time. "My GP does fuck all, the receptionist is a fucking nosey cunt". There aren't any appointments because the poor cunts at the surgery are full to the fucking rafters of time wasting cunts already. The phone is fucking red hot with hypochondriacs and panicking morons who can't self care with a stupid fucking minor illness. Now, most days and nights, the waiting rooms of A&E's are full of these incapable cunts.

My experience is that GP surgeries and hospitals are full of contagious cunts and I visit them as little as possible.

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10 minutes ago, The Beast said:

Having spent the last fuck knows how many years in the triage room of various A&E's, I hear this fucking load of old wank all the time. "My GP does fuck all, the receptionist is a fucking nosey cunt". There aren't any appointments because the poor cunts at the surgery are full to the fucking rafters of time wasting cunts already. The phone is fucking red hot with hypochondriacs and panicking morons who can't self care with a stupid fucking minor illness. Now, most days and nights, the waiting rooms of A&E's are full of these incapable cunts.

I've always been impressed in the main by the performance of the NHS and the professionalism of the clinical staff. I do however take issue with the changes to the way you can make an appointment recently implemented by the surgeries round here, and probably in many areas. You used to ring your surgery, speak to the receptionist and they would arrange your appointment. Now you are put through to a central call centre and kept on hold for 20+ minutes, if you actually visit the surgery and ask to make an appointment, the receptionist tells you that they aren't allowed to make face to face appointments and you must persevere with the centralised call centre. It does beg the question, what the fuck does a receptionist do if they no longer arrange patient appointments. Someone I know telephoned 3 days in a row and was kept on hold for 20 minutes each time before hanging up in frustration. Unacceptable.

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Guest luke swarm
12 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I've always been impressed in the main by the performance of the NHS and the professionalism of the clinical staff. I do however take issue with the changes to the way you can make an appointment recently implemented by the surgeries round here, and probably in many areas. You used to ring your surgery, speak to the receptionist and they would arrange your appointment. Now you are put through to a central call centre and kept on hold for 20+ minutes, if you actually visit the surgery and ask to make an appointment, the receptionist tells you that they aren't allowed to make face to face appointments and you must persevere with the centralised call centre. It does beg the question, what the fuck does a receptionist do if they no longer arrange patient appointments. Someone I know telephoned 3 days in a row and was kept on hold for 20 minutes each time before hanging up in frustration. Unacceptable.

that's the whole point of these centralised call centres Eric, create a wall and obstruct as much as possible. Its a ploy employed by all large shit corporations to dissuade the hapless cunts who they are meant to serve from bothering them.

But be assured of one thing, your call is important to them, its just that the two poor overworked minimum wage cunts they have got answering the phones are desperately trying to hold their at bursting point bladders because they are not even allowed to go for a piss in case they get a disciplinary for not meeting their target of 300 calls an hour. Bag of shite country its turning into.   

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4 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

that's the whole point of these centralised call centres Eric, create a wall and obstruct as much as possible. Its a ploy employed by all large shit corporations to dissuade the hapless cunts who they are meant to serve from bothering them.

But be assured of one thing, your call is important to them, its just that the two poor overworked minimum wage cunts they have got answering the phones are desperately trying to hold their at bursting point bladders because they are not even allowed to go for a piss in case they get a disciplinary for not meeting their target of 300 calls an hour. Bag of shite country its turning into.   

I imagine you're right on the money with that synopsis Luke. It's not going to be long before golfers are going to be put through to call centres in Bangladesh, who will then arrange appointments for AIDS clinics in Cheshire. Lunacy.

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4 hours ago, Wolfie said:

The NHS is a state-funded organisation left in turmoil under control of the last Labour government, and National Express is a gilt-edged example of a British private company doing rather well. Which distinction do you find difficult to grasp?

Stupid nomination.

Rat Junior travelled on something called Megabus Lupo.

I had to have him fumigated and boiled when he got home.

Later the family agreed that he should be destroyed

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