Last Cunt Standing Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 I’m partial to a Saturday night trip out from time to time, and last night ventured to see the comedy stylings of Jason Manford in the delightful Northern hamlet of Grimsby, after checking my vaccination record and stocking up on alcohol hand wipes. The show was good, if tarnished a little by the smell of body odour from the row behind and the disgusting fat creature to my left who got through two massive sacks of Doritos and a tub of ice cream during the show, before announcing to her pathetic weed of a man that she would “need to stop at Maccies cos I’ve got fuckin heartburn”. As Crazy Crazy Nights blasted out signalling chucking out time, everyone seemed to leave in good mood, chortling their way to the car park, yet as soon as the central locking kicked in the primate brain took over. 2000 cars all fighting to get out of a single lane exit. Cunts edging forward, revving at each other, flashing their lights, refusing to make eye contact. What utter cuntery, predictable as a fight in the Guinness tent at Cheltenham. It makes for an amusing spectacle though if you sit and glug your Thermos of coffee while these idiots all spike their blood pressure, which most of the wobbling blobs can ill afford. I’d go out more if it wasn’t for the public. Cunts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 Jason Manford? Grimsby? Idiot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I’m partial to a Saturday night trip out from time to time, and last night ventured to see the comedy stylings of Jason Manford in the delightful Northern hamlet of Grimsby, after checking my vaccination record and stocking up on alcohol hand wipes. The show was good, if tarnished a little by the smell of body odour from the row behind and the disgusting fat creature to my left who got through two massive sacks of Doritos and a tub of ice cream during the show, before announcing to her pathetic weed of a man that she would “need to stop at Maccies cos I’ve got fuckin heartburn”. As Crazy Crazy Nights blasted out signalling chucking out time, everyone seemed to leave in good mood, chortling their way to the car park, yet as soon as the central locking kicked in the primate brain took over. 2000 cars all fighting to get out of a single lane exit. Cunts edging forward, revving at each other, flashing their lights, refusing to make eye contact. What utter cuntery, predictable as a fight in the Guinness tent at Cheltenham. It makes for an amusing spectacle though if you sit and glug your Thermos of coffee while these idiots all spike their blood pressure, which most of the wobbling blobs can ill afford. I’d go out more if it wasn’t for the public. Cunts. Try leaving the Goodwood festival of speed, its fucking pandemonium Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Bubba C said: Jason Manford? Grimsby? Idiot. Sarah Millican in Skegness must have been sold out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted March 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Bubba C said: Jason Manford? Grimsby? Idiot. If it makes you feel better Bubbs, I went home and had a nice Speyside single malt over a challenging game of Backgammon. I would say I have fairly Catholic taste in entertainment if I didn’t think it would get me into trouble here on T’Corner. Oh, and while it goes without saying, fuck off and die you contemptible little maggot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted March 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 17 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Sarah Millican in Skegness must have been sold out. I don’t care for female stand ups Baws, and this particular cunt is as funny as finding a genital wart while having a piss on the plane home from a Bangkok stag do. Besides, the Embassy Theatre in Skegness is a bit chilly at this time of year and is very much a Summer run out in the car for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 18 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Sarah Millican in Skegness must have been sold out. I’ll raise you with Chris Ramsey in Hull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted March 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 1 minute ago, Bubba C said: I’ll raise you with Chris Ramsey in Hull. Goofy streak of piss hitching his trailer to the current trend for all things Geordie plays Kingston Upon Hole? I’d rather have Fourniers gangrene. Thanks for offering, mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 " It makes for an amusing spectacle though if you sit and glug your Thermos of coffee while these idiots all spike their blood pressure, which most of the wobbling blobs can ill afford. " Sat in your mum's Ford Fiesta in a car park drinking Lidl coffee from a thermos flask. Fuck me, you certainly know how to have a good time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 4 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Sat in your mum's Ford Fiesta in a car park drinking Lidl coffee from a thermos flask. Fuck me, you certainly know how to have a good time. That's the fucking high life in Grimsby, that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted March 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 41 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: " It makes for an amusing spectacle though if you sit and glug your Thermos of coffee while these idiots all spike their blood pressure, which most of the wobbling blobs can ill afford. " Sat in your mum's Ford Fiesta in a car park drinking Lidl coffee from a thermos flask. Fuck me, you certainly know how to have a good time. My mother has been dead for twelve years you Cunt. Happy Mothers Day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 Any thoughts about Mablethorpe or Sutton-on-sea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 6 hours ago, Your Lady Penelope said: Any thoughts about Mablethorpe or Sutton-on-sea? Ah, Mablethorpe, when the tide's out you can't see the sea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Albert Ross said: Ah, Mablethorpe, when the tide's out you can't see the sea. That's like Southport when the sea is in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 On 11/03/2018 at 9:50 AM, Last Cunt Standing said: I’m partial to a Saturday night trip out from time to time, and last night ventured to see the comedy stylings of Jason Manford in the delightful Northern hamlet of Grimsby, after checking my vaccination record and stocking up on alcohol hand wipes. The show was good, if tarnished a little by the smell of body odour from the row behind and the disgusting fat creature to my left who got through two massive sacks of Doritos and a tub of ice cream during the show, before announcing to her pathetic weed of a man that she would “need to stop at Maccies cos I’ve got fuckin heartburn”. As Crazy Crazy Nights blasted out signalling chucking out time, everyone seemed to leave in good mood, chortling their way to the car park, yet as soon as the central locking kicked in the primate brain took over. 2000 cars all fighting to get out of a single lane exit. Cunts edging forward, revving at each other, flashing their lights, refusing to make eye contact. What utter cuntery, predictable as a fight in the Guinness tent at Cheltenham. It makes for an amusing spectacle though if you sit and glug your Thermos of coffee while these idiots all spike their blood pressure, which most of the wobbling blobs can ill afford. I’d go out more if it wasn’t for the public. Cunts. So let me get this right. You go to a place where a lot of other people are attending. You park in a car park where a lot of other people are parking. Then you cry like a bitch because they don’t stand aside and let you out first! Who the fuck are you, Elton fucking John? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 9 hours ago, judgetwi said: So let me get this right. You go to a place where a lot of other people are attending. You park in a car park where a lot of other people are parking. Then you cry like a bitch because they don’t stand aside and let you out first! Who the fuck are you, Elton fucking John? It seems to me the good Doc lives his life like a candle in the wind! Probably a bender with a glued on wig 'an all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted March 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 6 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: It seems to me the good Doc lives his life like a candle in the wind! Probably a bender with a glued on wig 'an all. I’m Still Standing, though. Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 3 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I’m Still Standing, though. Cunt. I won't let your mum go down on me on second thoughts... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 8 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I’m Still Standing, though. Cunt. 4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: I won't let your mum go down on me on second thoughts... If you two want to meet up, Saturday night's alright for fighting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 14 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: If you two want to meet up, Saturday night's alright for fighting. Name the train station, you can ref it with Mike Tyson as a special enforcer. Make sure it's near a Premier Inn mind, as I've got a discount card and I own Lenny Henry one from last time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: If you two want to meet up, Saturday night's alright for fighting. They can meet at Crocodile Rock, just off the Yellow brick Road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 50 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: If you two want to meet up, Saturday night's alright for fighting. But not if you've arranged to meet Eric the Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 7 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: They can meet at Crocodile Rock, just off the Yellow brick Road. Or in the club at the end of the street. Oh look, Pen's pretending to be a 22 year old male again. The last time she was one of those, Chamberlain was PM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Or in the club at the end of the street. Oh look, Pen's pretending to be a 22 year old male again. The last time she was one of those, Chamberlain was PM. Pen's been pretending to be many things for a long time now...interesting, original, funny, human, female, normal....failed across the spectrum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: Pen's been pretending to be many things for a long time now...interesting, original, funny, human, female, normal....failed across the spectrum. No, she/he/it is definitely on the spectrum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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