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Apologists for drink driving celebrities


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25 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

The Daily News, Friday 23 March 2018:

TV presenter Ant McFartlin has been found dead at his home in Twickenham, Surrey.

The news follows allegations of drink-driving, in which he was taken to a south London police station for questioning following a collision last week involving three vehicles.

Mr McFartlin, who hosted several prime-time TV shows alongside celebrity co-presenter Dicklan Connelly, was found at approximately 10.40am by a male housemaid at his private London residence, apparently self-strangled with fishnet stockings while wearing a pair of pink Loubouton designer stilettos.

It is believed a large battery-operated toy had become lodged into his rectum.

Police also said the corpse of the 42-year-old man, who had the remains of a ‘Cream Egg laced with diazepam’ in his mouth, is alleged to have a stretched anus the size of a ‘Cheshire golf bag’.

The coroner confirmed a large quantity of cocaine was also found in his blood, and reports of numerous bottles of vodka are thought to be circling around the press at large.

In June 2017, McFartlin famously checked himself into rehab for drink and drug addictions. It was revealed he had been battling a prescription drug addiction after a botched knee operation left him with only one testicle.

He is survived by his former wife, Lucy. It is known he had requested ‘I’ve been a-caught haddawayin’ ma todger… There’s nee way I’m gettin’ out o-this one, pet’ on his headstone.

Excellent, any chance of a truce?

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18 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

Dodgy Russian and fuckable daughter get sludged , shite so called celeb gets shitfaced  .... .  What shall we run with boss ? ... Basically anything that diverts attention from NHS in meltdown or defenceless toddlers decapitated in Syrian air strikes. Politicos and media - cunts one and all swimming in a sea of shit.

Rape, runaway wives, other people's lives, 
Births, deaths, money left, 
Murder, divorce, suicide. 
Political intrigues, hospital cases, British weapons to foreign places, 
Earthquake, flood, bodies in the mud, 
Poison clouds, a cast of thousands.

The gunman opened fire! (Especially for you...)

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Have you seen his missus? I think I would be permanently pissed if I had to stick my cock anywhere near that. No wonder he preffered the arse of his co-star.

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6 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Have you seen his missus? I think I would be permanently pissed if I had to stick my cock anywhere near that. No wonder he preffered the arse of his co-star.

She's an absolute fucking pig and no mistake.

I've seen sexier sows at an abbatoir, bolt gun to their heads and shit dribbling down their fat hairy trotters.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

She's an absolute fucking pig and no mistake.

I've seen sexier sows at an abbatoir, bolt gun to their heads and shit dribbling down their fat hairy trotters.

As somebody has already mentioned, the fucking frying pan headed twat was already blind when he met her. 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
7 hours ago, Punkape said:

There’s nothing wrong with drinking and driving......it’s perfectly legal.The trick is sticking to a sensible limit and not driving when you’re shitfaced.

 

But what if you're pissed and you're on your way to your favourite dogging site with your mum because your wife is too pig fucking ugly to raise a Stubby?, surely that's illegal? 

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Guest judgetwi
28 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Have you seen his missus? I think I would be permanently pissed if I had to stick my cock anywhere near that. No wonder he preffered the arse of his co-star.

You’d think with all their dough she could afford some decent clothes. Even glammed-up she looks like some old dog on grab a granny night down the Bigg Market.

I reckon he’s going back into rehab to have a crack at some of those nurses. Crafty Geordie cunt.

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Guest Lady Penelope
7 hours ago, Punkape said:

There’s nothing wrong with drinking and driving......it’s perfectly legal.The trick is sticking to a sensible limit and not driving when you’re shitfaced.

 

Well that means that you should not drive sober or not, as you are permanently shit-faced.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
2 minutes ago, Your Lady Penelope said:

Well that means that you should not drive sober or not, as you are permanently shit-faced.

Is that from the "chocolate beard" that his punters pay to give him?

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2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

The Daily News, Friday 23 March 2018:

TV presenter Ant McFartlin has been found dead at his home in Twickenham, Surrey.

The news follows allegations of drink-driving, in which he was taken to a south London police station for questioning following a collision last week involving three vehicles.

Mr McFartlin, who hosted several prime-time TV shows alongside celebrity co-presenter Dicklan Connelly, was found at approximately 10.40am by a male housemaid at his private London residence, apparently self-strangled with fishnet stockings while wearing a pair of pink Loubouton designer stilettos.

It is believed a large battery-operated toy had become lodged into his rectum.

Police also said the corpse of the 42-year-old man, who had the remains of a ‘Cream Egg laced with diazepam’ in his mouth, is alleged to have a stretched anus the size of a ‘Cheshire golf bag’.

The coroner confirmed a large quantity of cocaine was also found in his blood, and reports of numerous bottles of vodka are thought to be circling around the press at large.

In June 2017, McFartlin famously checked himself into rehab for drink and drug addictions. It was revealed he had been battling a prescription drug addiction after a botched knee operation left him with only one testicle.

He is survived by his former wife, Lucy. It is known he had requested ‘I’ve been a-caught haddawayin’ ma todger… There’s nee way I’m gettin’ out o-this one, pet’ on his headstone.

Fucking hell, I didn't think Neil would do it. 

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1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

But what if you're pissed and you're on your way to your favourite dogging site with your mum because your wife is too pig fucking ugly to raise a Stubby?, surely that's illegal? 

I'm hoping the "raise a Stubby" shit was coincidence as I refuse to be associated with Punkapes nefarious doging activities especially if his family are involved, as you suggest.

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Guest Lady Penelope
58 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Is that from the "chocolate beard" that his punters pay to give him?

If chocolate is involved it could be that his civil partner is a Belgian Chocolatier called Hercule.

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Guest Erroreptile404
9 hours ago, Punkape said:

There’s nothing wrong with drinking and driving......it’s perfectly legal.The trick is sticking to a sensible limit and not driving when you’re shitfaced.

 

Yeah  but where's the fun in that?

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

I'm sick of the blindly moronic notion "unless you've personally X or Y...". Chavs say it to try and seem more important and significant than they are. As a pointless phrase it is up there with "try walking a mile in my shoes", as said by people that have made a litany of stupid, self-destructive decisions and think they've earned bragging rights at the end of it.

China are making inroads into Africa. We're slowly becoming an insignificant backwater. This is, in part, because we pander to all of this "but what about?" mentality all of the time. Tiny, single-percentile minorities that we have to cater to and hold up the entire shebang every time. Simply to not hurt their feelings. Some times you have to call a cunt a cunt.

Drink drivers are always cunts, without exception. Alcoholics are self destructive, and deserve zero sympathy simply because of the collateral damage they inflict. I find it hard to muster any sympathy for anybody who is buckling under the stress of being a minted professional Geordie with a massive forehead. 

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9 hours ago, Punkape said:

There’s nothing wrong with drinking and driving......it’s perfectly legal.The trick is sticking to a sensible limit and not driving when you’re shitfaced.

 

We’ve had this discussion many times before, and the resounding conclusion has always been that you’re a fucking idiot. You’ve stated several times on here that you’ve driven your “Range Rover” back from “the club” after drinking all afternoon. Either you’re a bullshitting wanker, or you’re a mindless, selfish moron. Which is it?

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11 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

I'm sick of the blindly moronic notion "unless you've personally X or Y...". Chavs say it to try and seem more important and significant than they are. As a pointless phrase it is up there with "try walking a mile in my shoes", as said by people that have made a litany of stupid, self-destructive decisions and think they've earned bragging rights at the end of it.

China are making inroads into Africa. We're slowly becoming an insignificant backwater. This is, in part, because we pander to all of this "but what about?" mentality all of the time. Tiny, single-percentile minorities that we have to cater to and hold up the entire shebang every time. Simply to not hurt their feelings. Some times you have to call a cunt a cunt.

Drink drivers are always cunts, without exception. Alcoholics are self destructive, and deserve zero sympathy simply because of the collateral damage they inflict. I find it hard to muster any sympathy for anybody who is buckling under the stress of being a minted professional Geordie with a massive forehead. 

Social commentary straight from the bottom of a can of Tennent's Super. 

Wheesht your drunken proselytising and chuck yourself out of the fifth floor of your disgusting Glaswegian tenement building.

Fucking idiot.

 

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I'm hoping the "raise a Stubby" shit was coincidence as I refuse to be associated with Punkapes nefarious doging activities especially if his family are involved, as you suggest.

Maybe you're a latent Punkgapearse "admirer"?

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32 minutes ago, Ape said:

We’ve had this discussion many times before, and the resounding conclusion has always been that you’re a fucking idiot. You’ve stated several times on here that you’ve driven your “Range Rover” back from “the club” after drinking all afternoon. Either you’re a bullshitting wanker, or you’re a mindless, selfish moron. Which is it?

In my younger days I wrote off one car on a roundabout on the way back from all night japes.(To be fair the roundabout was completely new and I had no idea it was there).

I wrote off another car whilst racing a pal back across country after a great session at the Grand National after backing the winner.I rolled it into ditch......lol.

Involvement with the plod was fortunately and carefully avoided.

Lol. 

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Guest Lady Penelope
3 minutes ago, Punkape said:

In my younger days I wrote off one car on a roundabout on the way back from all night japes.(To be fair the roundabout was completely new and I had no idea it was there).

I wrote off another car whilst racing a pal back across country after a great session at the Grand National after backing the winner.I rolled it into ditch......lol.

Involvement with the plod was fortunately and carefully avoided.

Lol. 

What about the scandal at Couts?

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4 minutes ago, Punkape said:

In my younger days I wrote off one car on a roundabout on the way back from all night japes.(To be fair the roundabout was completely new and I had no idea it was there).

I wrote off another car whilst racing a pal back across country after a great session at the Grand National after backing the winner.I rolled it into ditch......lol.

Involvement with the plod was fortunately and carefully avoided.

Lol. 

Such a shame you weren’t seriously injured or killed.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
49 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Wheesht your drunken proselytising and chuck yourself out of the fifth floor of your disgusting Glaswegian tenement building.

Fucking idiot.

 

Irish Parents, Scottish Grandparents, and you're giving me shite? 

I'm surprised you have any energy left to come on here and post shit, after a hard day solving the World's issues at Norfolk Country Council. Where will we put the new dog shite bin in Wroxham? Shall we shut the library in Cromer and sell the building to developers? Fucking burning issues of the day right there.

Cunt. 

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