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Quaint village pubs


Neil

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9 hours ago, Neil said:

For 'Quaint' read outdated,run by some city dwelling cunt,Sunday roast murdering shitholes.Its like going back in time entering these fucking flea pits ,the usual yokel strategically placed at the end of the bar drinking from a pewter tankard that looks like it's been dug up and sporting a beard that has more wildlife in it than the local woods.Ipod plugged into big fuck off Toshiba speakers blaring out 80's fucking tripe,a pool table with less cloth on it than biafran school kid and a dart board bulging with more bristles than the chins in the front row of a Mecca bingo hall.Usually fronted by some cockney fucking knob that thinks he can make money out of the locals who have become an expert in making half a bitter last all fucking day.'Bistro' my fucking arse.Signs on the wall advertising a quiz night that will be attended by one man and his fucking dog,and as for the Sunday carvery,fuck me,I thought my missus couldn't fucking cook but it turns out she could get a job in any of these fucking time machines. Raze the cunts to the ground.

mine's a pint of Leper's Pus landlord

then a lick of Betty's hotpot 

betty.jpg

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

It's a hard "g" you soft cunt - as in "gimboid".

Oh, silly me, so embarrassing. English teaching slag- hard g at the end of sssslaaagggG

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
19 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I'm sorry, but I've really got nothing else left to say.

I'm logging off now. 

Aye run away, like a whipped cur.

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5 hours ago, Decimus said:

Great places to take the kids if you are tiring of them breathing.

The play area usually consists of a fibre glass tree, the interior of which is full of broken Hooch bottles from the 90's and AIDS infected used condoms.

If the kids manage to avoid slashing a major artery and contracting a fatal disease, you can always bank on them being abducted by the ever-present village nonce who can reliably be found furiously masturbating into a pack of pork scratchings in an adjoining hedgerow.

#Maddieisdead.

You've visited the Forest of Dean then?

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Guest Wizardsleeve
1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Unions been on strike, he's down on his luck.

It's true!  Now if only that slag Gina would kick in, they'd be half way there/  

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

Occasionally when I'm very bored I go on Google maps, head to the south of England, and zoom in until all the parochial wee shithole villages appear. Some dickhead town that only exists because two roads intersect, but has been there since the fucking Domesay book. Then I look for the pub in that village, look it up on Trip Advisor, and then read all the one star reviews. 

 

Most of those reviews verify what Neil asserts here. All the local cunts say "best roast beef ever", the insular fuckwits. 

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3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Occasionally when I'm very bored I go on Google maps, head to the south of England, and zoom in until all the parochial wee shithole villages appear. Some dickhead town that only exists because two roads intersect, but has been there since the fucking Domesay book. Then I look for the pub in that village, look it up on Trip Advisor, and then read all the one star reviews. 

That's a very "spectrum" thing to do. Ask me how I know.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

That's a very "spectrum" thing to do. Ask me how I know.

We're all on the spectrum somewhere. Just ask my Allen Key collection. 

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On 20/03/2018 at 10:50 AM, Neil said:

For 'Quaint' read outdated,run by some city dwelling cunt,Sunday roast murdering shitholes.Its like going back in time entering these fucking flea pits ,the usual yokel strategically placed at the end of the bar drinking from a pewter tankard that looks like it's been dug up and sporting a beard that has more wildlife in it than the local woods.Ipod plugged into big fuck off Toshiba speakers blaring out 80's fucking tripe,a pool table with less cloth on it than biafran school kid and a dart board bulging with more bristles than the chins in the front row of a Mecca bingo hall.Usually fronted by some cockney fucking knob that thinks he can make money out of the locals who have become an expert in making half a bitter last all fucking day.'Bistro' my fucking arse.Signs on the wall advertising a quiz night that will be attended by one man and his fucking dog,and as for the Sunday carvery,fuck me,I thought my missus couldn't fucking cook but it turns out she could get a job in any of these fucking time machines. Raze the cunts to the ground.

Did this nom years ago and still totally agree.   Shite fucking cuntry pubs carveries are absolute wank holes.   I hate them even more if they are frequented by pretentious londonistas and the price of the Calvery is therefore £30 per head. 

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6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Did this nom years ago and still totally agree.   Shite fucking cuntry pubs carveries are absolute wank holes.   I hate them even more if they are frequented by pretentious londonistas and the price of the Calvery is therefore £30 per head. 

I bet you prefer a flat roofed pub any day you boring fucking twat.

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On 20/03/2018 at 10:02 PM, Tata Steely Dan said:

Occasionally when I'm very bored I go on Google maps, head to the south of England, and zoom in until all the parochial wee shithole villages appear. Some dickhead town that only exists because two roads intersect, but has been there since the fucking Domesay book. Then I look for the pub in that village, look it up on Trip Advisor, and then read all the one star reviews. 

 

Most of those reviews verify what Neil asserts here. All the local cunts say "best roast beef ever", the insular fuckwits. 

Occasionally, when I’m very bored, I begin reading some of the shit you post on CC. Within a picosecond or two, I regret it. Fuck off.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
22 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Tell us about Portugal Ape ?

What really happened ?

 

22 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Tell us about Portugal Ape ?

What really happened ?

Is your new name PortugalApe ? 

 

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