Guest Lord McCunty Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. The odd bit of drilling and planing added in too. I just want to sit down after work and relax without a live episode of Tommy Walsh over the top. Still going post 9:00 some nights. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys everytime. God forbid anyone sit outside on the back lawn in a "quiet village" and listen to the birdsong. Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. Then shot again. Everyone has to make a bit of noise, I get it. But you seem to get these tosspot DIY Dan types that have gotta be "doing summat" all the fucking time. Shut the fuck up! Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 25 minutes ago, Lord McCunty said: I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. The odd bit of drilling and planing added in too. I just want to sit down after work and relax without a live episode of Tommy Walsh over the top. Still going post 9:00 some nights. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys everytime. God forbid anyone sit outside on the back lawn in a "quiet village" and listen to the birdsong. Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. Then shot again. Everyone has to make a bit of noise, I get it. But you seem to get these tosspot DIY Dan types that have gotta be "doing summat" all the fucking time. Shut the fuck up! Fuck off. We have a cunt next door who is addicted to mowing his lawn, hedge trimming, burning shit and rotating his veg patch. At 6.45am or recently he’s moved to 10.22pm before switching the fucking things off. He is known in the village simply as lawnmower man... or dickhead for short. He stands in his garden on the corner of the road and he waves at every inbred he knows, and the silly cunts bib their horns on there noisy shit box Japanese pick up trucks. Fucking inbred mother, sister, brother dad types with extra fingers and clef lips. Shouting hello nob head, hello ! As they drive past. He is a massive prick and I can only think he stops at night only to pop onto the ineterweb and sign into his account as APE. Now that would be a top cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 2 hours ago, Lord McCunty said: I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. The odd bit of drilling and planing added in too. I just want to sit down after work and relax without a live episode of Tommy Walsh over the top. Still going post 9:00 some nights. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys everytime. God forbid anyone sit outside on the back lawn in a "quiet village" and listen to the birdsong. Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. Then shot again. Everyone has to make a bit of noise, I get it. But you seem to get these tosspot DIY Dan types that have gotta be "doing summat" all the fucking time. Shut the fuck up! Fuck off. I don't think ownership of a leaf blower in itself, warrants the ritualistic execution you suggest...combined with a complete lack of sense on proper usage time will do. I own a top shelf leaf blower. Try to disembowel and "double tap" me, and I'll put every female member of your family to work whoring in a somali pirate village! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 3 hours ago, Lord McCunty said: I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. The odd bit of drilling and planing added in too. I just want to sit down after work and relax without a live episode of Tommy Walsh over the top. Still going post 9:00 some nights. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys everytime. God forbid anyone sit outside on the back lawn in a "quiet village" and listen to the birdsong. Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. Then shot again. Everyone has to make a bit of noise, I get it. But you seem to get these tosspot DIY Dan types that have gotta be "doing summat" all the fucking time. Shut the fuck up! Fuck off. Sorry about that. Did I mention, I'm also getting a skip in on Thursday, it'll be here for a few months while I do some stuff around the house and garden so I'll need to park across your drive, is that ok? Cheers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 3 hours ago, scotty said: Sorry about that. Did I mention, I'm also getting a skip in on Thursday, it'll be here for a few months while I do some stuff around the house and garden so I'll need to park across your drive, is that ok? Cheers. It will be full of other people's stuff in one hour, you are in Southampton. Just fly tip it around the A27 like everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said: It will be full of other people's stuff in one hour, you are in Southampton. Just fly tip it around the A27 like everyone else. Perfect timing for just such a venture, alfie. They are currently repairing the M27 bridge near me, so lots of piles of rubble already there, holes dug etc, ripe for exploitation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 10 hours ago, Lord McCunty said: I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. The odd bit of drilling and planing added in too. I just want to sit down after work and relax without a live episode of Tommy Walsh over the top. Still going post 9:00 some nights. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys everytime. God forbid anyone sit outside on the back lawn in a "quiet village" and listen to the birdsong. Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. Then shot again. Everyone has to make a bit of noise, I get it. But you seem to get these tosspot DIY Dan types that have gotta be "doing summat" all the fucking time. Shut the fuck up! Fuck off. Do you happen to live very near to Llandudno, by any chance? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 10 hours ago, Lord McCunty said: Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. I couldn’t agree more. What a pointless invention that serves no good purpose; other than to make an annoying, droning noise, much like @r-soles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 5 minutes ago, Bubba C said: I couldn’t agree more. What a pointless invention that serves no good purpose; other than to make an annoying, droning noise, much like @r-soles If that's the case, I think Arseholes drive belt is slipping hence the periodic unexplained loud rattles, probably the work of immigrants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 12 hours ago, Lord McCunty said: I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys every time. Fuck off. It's just @Panzerknacker and his significant other getting in some late night irish river dancing. Also do you live in a paper japanese origami house or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord McCunty Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 10 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: I don't think ownership of a leaf blower in itself, warrants the ritualistic execution you suggest...combined with a complete lack of sense on proper usage time will do. I own a top shelf leaf blower. Try to disembowel and "double tap" me, and I'll put every female member of your family to work whoring in a somali pirate village! Do you blow leaves into a pile and then pick them up, or do you simple waft them from one end of the garden to the other like most owners of these hideous machines? If its the former then I could commute your sentence to a mild birching.... With a rake handle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 8 hours ago, Lord McCunty said: Do you blow leaves into a pile and then pick them up, or do you simple waft them from one end of the garden to the other like most owners of these hideous machines? If its the former then I could commute your sentence to a mild birching.... With a rake handle. I couldn't agree more. Pointless wastes of metal, plastic and petrol. Wiz, have fucking word with yourself. Better still, employ some skinny Somali cunt to rake up the leaves, pansy would do it for 3 quid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 The amount of leaf fall absolutely smother the grass. It has to be tended to, and I don't want to spend all day about it. The blower piles them up, then we pick them up and dispose of properly...or we just put them in the road and set them a blaze. The atmosphere needs more smoke and CO2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 22, 2018 Report Share Posted May 22, 2018 21 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: The amount of leaf fall absolutely smother the grass. It has to be tended to, and I don't want to spend all day about it. The blower piles them up, then we pick them up and dispose of properly...or we just put them in the road and set them a blaze. The atmosphere needs more smoke and CO2. Never mind this Titchmarsh bollocks. Get your arse over to flidspack and introduce some common sense. Eavens has been frothing at the mouth with obscure, weird Australian fruit based lunacy. @Ape has deserted me and left me to try and control the mental bastard on my own, and quite frankly, I'm out of my depth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 35 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Never mind this Titchmarsh bollocks. Get your arse over to flidspack and introduce some common sense. Eavens has been frothing at the mouth with obscure, weird Australian fruit based lunacy. @Ape has deserted me and left me to try and control the mental bastard on my own, and quite frankly, I'm out of my depth. Jazz has brought death to the best thread on the Corner. Then he set the corpse on fucking fire. My participation would most likely only serve to derail it further, with my complete and utter contempt for the cunt. I'll give it consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 There's a clause in our deeds that permits access to our property by the next door neighbour [cunt as it happens , but his wifey has a tremendous rack] should their extension wall require maintenance or repairs .. so what do you think of that . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Never mind this Titchmarsh bollocks. Get your arse over to flidspack and introduce some common sense. Eavens has been frothing at the mouth with obscure, weird Australian fruit based lunacy. @Ape has deserted me and left me to try and control the mental bastard on my own, and quite frankly, I'm out of my depth. Some of my meds are in the post, and on their way to you. You'll be able to cope so much better by taken them as instructed. The only side-affects are that you may experience several bouts of weird Australian lunacy and the likes, which is small price to pay when it begins to become obvious that you need to stem your anger towards Alan Titchmarsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 On 5/22/2018 at 1:27 AM, Lord McCunty said: I wouldn't mind if there was a fucking racket for a few days, but it's constant "tap tap tappity tap" whenever you least expect it... for two fucking weeks. The odd bit of drilling and planing added in too. I just want to sit down after work and relax without a live episode of Tommy Walsh over the top. Still going post 9:00 some nights. I overhear his nagging bitch of a missus whining daily about new things she wants that she's "seen on' telly". He humbly obeys everytime. God forbid anyone sit outside on the back lawn in a "quiet village" and listen to the birdsong. Anyone who owns a leaf blower should be disemboweled and then shot. Then shot again. Everyone has to make a bit of noise, I get it. But you seem to get these tosspot DIY Dan types that have gotta be "doing summat" all the fucking time. Shut the fuck up! Fuck off. Are you quite sure that you haven't got an unwanted squatter residing up in your loft? I only mention this, as I'm currently holed-up in the attic of a 6 bed detached, without the owners knowing, albeit that I make as little noise as is possible. You may want to check if any foods have disappeared from your fridge without any reason. Also, count all of your dining chairs, as one of these is the first thing that goes astray. I'd also advise that you look to see if any of your clothes have gone missing, as I've got most of the cunt's clobber up here with me too. Anyway, from where I'm sat it's exceptionally entertaining to hear them down-below swearing blind that their home is haunted with poltergeist activities 7 days per week whilst they're not present, but hey, to fuck with them so long as I'm housed & fed for jack-shit in return, who gives a fuck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 5 hours ago, colonelkurtz said: There's a clause in our deeds that permits access to our property by the next door neighbour [cunt as it happens , but his wifey has a tremendous rack] should their extension wall require maintenance or repairs .. so what do you think of that . Aw Bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 23, 2018 Report Share Posted May 23, 2018 5 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Are you quite sure that you haven't got an unwanted squatter residing up in your loft? I only mention this, as I'm currently holed-up in the attic of a 6 bed detached, without the owners knowing, albeit that I make as little noise as is possible. You may want to check if any foods have disappeared from your fridge without any reason. Also, count all of your dining chairs, as one of these is the first thing that goes astray. I'd also advise that you look to see if any of your clothes have gone missing, as I've got most of the cunt's clobber up here with me too. Anyway, from where I'm sat it's exceptionally entertaining to hear them down-below swearing blind that their home is haunted with poltergeist activities 7 days per week whilst they're not present, but hey, to fuck with them so long as I'm housed & fed for jack-shit in return, who gives a fuck! It's probably the 'ectoplasm' in his wife's knicker drawer that's freaking them out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 24, 2018 Report Share Posted May 24, 2018 Hello @Punkape!! 😜 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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