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Monumental cunt

Celebrity NHS frontline tv programme

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1 minute ago, Wolfie said:

Perhaps 'videon' is a special magazine-via-video 'build one as you buy' tutorial, in which its cult transgender readership subscribes to a new part, DVD and little bottle of poppers with each issue to eventually assemble a huge, brutal sex toy known as the 'Dildon'. Is this correct, Pen, you cock-juggling thundercunt?

I thought that a videon might be an audio visual, condensed DVD version of the bible, left in hotel rooms by odd people wearing corduroy.

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2 hours ago, cuntspotter said:

We are all going to die....probably on a trolley in a corridor.

Luxury 

Panzerknacker 

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On 6/17/2018 at 11:07 AM, r-soles said:

It's been said many times before, any celebrity themed show is a steaming pile of dog poo, just waiting for Wolfie to come and scoop it into his shit-bag.

anybody and everybody knows this, yet still they tune-in, because they don't want to be left out of the conversation when it's discussed over their latte break tomorrow morning, sad cunts.

We all know the programme we'd like to see on tv, the one with the magnificently monumental viewing figures, celebrity suicides.

Unfortunately no television company would have the balls to broadcast this ratings winning, family entertainment spectacular, how sad, too bad, never mind.

Fuck off!

Good use of the word monumental.

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On 6/18/2018 at 7:47 AM, cuntspotter said:

We are all going to die....probably on a trolley in a corridor.

Very true for most on here statistically speaking.  Although more than a few will be involved in a quick death with a rope, a tangerine and a gag I suspect.  Isn’t it called a Gary Speed wank when your Mrs goes to Tescos on a Saturday morning and you end up dead.

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21 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Very true for most on here statistically speaking.  Although more than a few will be involved in a quick death with a rope, a tangerine and a gag I suspect.  Isn’t it called a Gary Speed wank when your Mrs goes to Tescos on a Saturday morning and you end up dead.

My knees are done for MC .. not that you care with your fancy house and car.

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13 minutes ago, Penelope said:

My knees are done for MC .. not that you care with your fancy house and car.

You think your knees have got problems, I just watched a documentary about an 11 year old Indonesian kid that weighs 30 stone. He sits screaming until his mother gets him another 2 litres of chocolate ice cream, and then the silly bitch turns round and says she can't understand how he got so fat.

greedy fucking pork juggernaut.

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20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You think your knees have got problems, I just watched a documentary about an 11 year old Indonesian kid that weighs 30 stone. He sits screaming until his mother gets him another 2 litres of chocolate ice cream, and then the silly bitch turns round and says she can't understand how he got so fat.

greedy fucking pork juggernaut.

So did the programme go on about him being "I'll" or is he a just a fat greedy cunt? 

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22 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Very true for most on here statistically speaking.  Although more than a few will be involved in a quick death with a rope, a tangerine and a gag I suspect.  Isn’t it called a Gary Speed wank when your Mrs goes to Tescos on a Saturday morning and you end up dead.

What is a "Gary Speed wank"?

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16 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

So did the programme go on about him being "I'll" or is he a just a fat greedy cunt? 

He's a kid with an unusually large appetite, made worse by a thick mother scared to say no, for fear of a tantrum. Felt sorry for his dad, who wanted to go with the Doctors suggestion of gastric band surgery, but the mother didn't want to know, claiming that it might make him unhappy! 9 times out of 10, behind a problem kid, is a cunt parent.

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3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

What is a "Gary Speed wank"?

It’s a much more exotic “tesco sexual”.  Basically when a woman leaves a man in the house to go shopping he has a wank, hence he is a Tesco sexual.    A Gary Speed wank is similar circumstances but generally involves a rope and nose around the neck, a tangerine in the mouth and a corpse hanging in the garage when the Mrs gets home.  Porn still playing on the laptop with cock in hand.   Reminiscent of the latterly popular and briefly successful welsh football manager who was found mysteriously hanged in his garage following a bout of “depression” that nobody actually saw any signs of ever.  Cause of death was a Gary Speed wank on the Coroners report.

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1 hour ago, Penelope said:

My knees are done for MC .. not that you care with your fancy house and car.

Fancy house and car...isn’t that widely accepted as being fantasy?  I thought everyone on here had to live in a bedsit but read philosophy according to Roops.

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7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You think your knees have got problems, I just watched a documentary about an 11 year old Indonesian kid that weighs 30 stone. He sits screaming until his mother gets him another 2 litres of chocolate ice cream, and then the silly bitch turns round and says she can't understand how he got so fat.

greedy fucking pork juggernaut.

She not heard the ice cream ad .. Just One Cornetto?

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7 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

It’s a much more exotic “tesco sexual”.  Basically when a woman leaves a man in the house to go shopping he has a wank, hence he is a Tesco sexual.    A Gary Speed wank is similar circumstances but generally involves a rope and nose around the neck, a tangerine in the mouth and a corpse hanging in the garage when the Mrs gets home.  Porn still playing on the laptop with cock in hand.   Reminiscent of the latterly popular and briefly successful welsh football manager who was found mysteriously hanged in his garage following a bout of “depression” that nobody actually saw any signs of ever.  Cause of death was a Gary Speed wank on the Coroners report.

As a lad I bet you loved a ‘danger wank’.

Sitting in your room, you’d shout ‘mum, make me a cup of tea’ and then try and crack one out before she came upstairs with your four sugar, milky brew. 

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I'm sure there won't be a shortage of wannabee cunts beating a path to get their boats on camera, in hope that something comes of it and they can be taken away from their humdrum existence.

Most cunts who work for the NHS more than 2 years seem chronically depressed, always fucking moaning about how shit it is, but never do anything to change their life. Management do what the fuck they like and every cunt is too apathetic to oppose them. The unions have a nice little earner, collecting their subs and then get in the same bed for a menagerie a trois with HR and executive board.

If this programme is an example of what keeps us alive, I want us all dead for our own safety.

 

 

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11 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

It’s a much more exotic “tesco sexual”.  Basically when a woman leaves a man in the house to go shopping he has a wank, hence he is a Tesco sexual.    A Gary Speed wank is similar circumstances but generally involves a rope and nose around the neck, a tangerine in the mouth and a corpse hanging in the garage when the Mrs gets home.  Porn still playing on the laptop with cock in hand.   Reminiscent of the latterly popular and briefly successful welsh football manager who was found mysteriously hanged in his garage following a bout of “depression” that nobody actually saw any signs of ever.  Cause of death was a Gary Speed wank on the Coroners report.

Interesting theory MongC, I thought the INXS bloke perfected then ruined the art of stranglewanking. Another excepted theory is he was bummed rotten by Barry Bennell and didn't want it coming out and facing the shame of not chomping the dirty nonces cock off at the time

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On ‎6‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 11:03 PM, Monumental cunt said:

Just seen an advert for what can only be described as the worst Celebrity TV programme ever devised. Celebrity NHS Frontline.

i can’t think of anything more inappropriate than a set of TV cameras pouring over some poor unfortunates illness, pain and ultimate demise, whilst squeaky voiced fat non celebrity Anne Widdecombe and one legged wasn’t he the one who didn’t shoot his girlfriend Jonny Peacock, look on and make totally inappropriate comments.

This is going to be a shit fest of political statements, every nurse will be an angel, every porter a hero, every patient a tragedy.   I bet nobody will tell it how it should be told.

these fucking wards are a fucking sewer. They need a fucking good clean.   This woman has been in bed for 8 days, someone do something to move her about rather than saying, we aren’t allowed to lift people as we might get injured.  Scenes of endless beds full of browns and Kosovo’s will be edited and only poor white people and middle class accidents where Tarquinius has been deeply cut by a Guarvo fruit will be shown.  It clearly will have a shock moment possibly involving Leslie Grantham dying on set as the highlight of the week with Ange and fat Shaz holding on to his hand as he lays in a pool of his own piss in a corridor for the whole weekend, as all the doctors are playing golf.

I guess, Two Gay Phillapino ladyboys will,work as part time cleaners at the hospital for sure and will run the fucking show.  No doubt they will become stars and hopefully give up there jobs as cleaners. So making the hospital a more sterile place and deaths from acquired infections will drop 50%.

Not sure what the luv interest will be and who will get married or have a spread in Hello magazine after this Celerity show.  Total utter fucking BBC TV wank and I’m sure millions will watch it even though Germany v Spain has gone to penalties on the other side.

Cunts..

I saw a series about the NHS with Davina Fuck All MC. She has as much gravitas as a post-coital mayfly. It was cringe making as she's practically a prostitute and staff wanted to treat her for thrush, clap, aids and trench throat.  

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17 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

What is a "Gary Speed wank"?

It's also referred to as a "Milligan" after the popular MP for Eastleigh in 1992. Rather like starting up my old Capri, he used a bit too much choke. 

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5 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Interesting theory MongC, I thought the INXS bloke perfected then ruined the art of stranglewanking. Another excepted theory is he was bummed rotten by Barry Bennell and didn't want it coming out and facing the shame of not chomping the dirty nonces cock off at the time

Stubb's with a little imagination, and mastery of the language, you could turn that into a new hybrid sock puppet name...half Irish Catholic half russian hockey player paedo.  Something Aloyisus Kockov....Dirtynonces Kockov....Then turn the leaderboard upside down.  

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1 hour ago, Penelope said:

I remember you when you were "Scottish". 

Do ya pen..or do you perchance remember stubbers thinking I was a scot 

Panzerknacker 

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4 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

Do ya pen..or do you perchance remember stubbers thinking I was a scot 

Panzerknacker 

I've never been fooled Panzer, I've always known that you're Namibian.

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2 hours ago, Panzerknacker said:

Do ya pen..or do you perchance remember stubbers thinking I was a scot 

Panzerknacker 

Stubby can't think.

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