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Cunt's getting exam results on the cunting BBC news


Neil

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fuck off will you with your over the top bollocks,I couldn't give a cow's cunt what you get.Some cunt just got so excited in telling everyone that he got some fucking high extinction grade that is as high as anyone could get,"oh congratulations " said the reporter "What subject did you get it in?" ........"computer gaming" Just fuck off you wanky cunts.

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9 hours ago, Neil said:

fuck off will you with your over the top bollocks,I couldn't give a cow's cunt what you get.Some cunt just got so excited in telling everyone that he got some fucking high extinction grade that is as high as anyone could get,"oh congratulations " said the reporter "What subject did you get it in?" ........"computer gaming" Just fuck off you wanky cunts.

I may have heard the same piece Neil. “ I have a triple distinction (with backflip, pike and tuck) in my BTEC in healthcare from Grimsby College, which is equal to three A stars at A level, so I’m weighing up Astrophysics at Cambridge or Eyelash Tinting at Preston”. 

What a load of utter wank. No educational standards anymore, everyone who can scrawl an X on the paper in crayon gets an A level (not the type Neil prefers), and then when they finally hit the wall of workplace reality, there’s lots of whining about how unfair it all is and how expectations are too high. I’ve (briefly) employed staff with 4 good A levels who struggled to work out a percentage or who were mystified by the concept of paragraphs. 

No wonder UK productivity is so low, when most adults would struggle to spell it. 

Still, eyelash tinting, eh? Good to have trade, my old Dad would have said. 

The only brief highlight at this time of year is the traditional shot of some fruity Sixth Formers from Cheltenham Ladies’ College on the front of The Telegraph, which I gather raises more old wood than the Mary Rose. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
9 hours ago, Neil said:

fuck off will you with your over the top bollocks,I couldn't give a cow's cunt what you get.Some cunt just got so excited in telling everyone that he got some fucking high extinction grade that is as high as anyone could get,"oh congratulations " said the reporter "What subject did you get it in?" ........"computer gaming" Just fuck off you wanky cunts.

It's better than getting excited about another cunt's excitement and to be so excited that you expressed your excitement for others to get excited about nothing.

giphy.gif
 

 

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Guest Wizardsleeve
Just now, scotty said:

That would indeed be proof of an infinite universe. 

I have recklessly squandered my likes, Scotto.  I'll properly compensate you tomorrow.  

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Guest Wizardsleeve
15 minutes ago, scotty said:

I'm falling asleep here anyway wizz, I shall leave you lot to your bickering and hasten to the arms of morpheus. 

All good sport, Scotty.  

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18 hours ago, Neil said:

fuck off will you with your over the top bollocks,I couldn't give a cow's cunt what you get.Some cunt just got so excited in telling everyone that he got some fucking high extinction grade that is as high as anyone could get,"oh congratulations " said the reporter "What subject did you get it in?" ........"computer gaming" Just fuck off you wanky cunts.

I must admit I fucking hate the same old lame reporting of exam result day.  They always go to some middle class school in Richmond and ask Titania how many A star plus GCSEs she has just got, and she blurts out that she has got all 15 !!!  Why not take the cameras to the poor inner city school where Raheem has just knifed a bruv in the playground for dissin his lack of results, you get me tho.   That is a more reflective view of exam result day to be honest.  I remember the day getting told by my maths teacher he was surprised I had passed.  I said, so am I Sir with you fucking teaching me.  Fuck off you cunt.

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On 8/15/2018 at 7:07 AM, Neil said:

fuck off will you with your over the top bollocks,I couldn't give a cow's cunt what you get.Some cunt just got so excited in telling everyone that he got some fucking high extinction grade that is as high as anyone could get,"oh congratulations " said the reporter "What subject did you get it in?" ........"computer gaming" Just fuck off you wanky cunts.

I imagine that the only certificate you've got is the one from your local constabulary which stipulates which parishes you are allowed to enter unsupervised.

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Guest sean5302
On 8/15/2018 at 8:03 AM, scotty said:

I got the results I needed to get into my preferred university in East Yorkshire; A, C, D, C. 

I'm on a highway to Hull. 

Can you speak the language?

Officialdom
Interjections
SOCIALISING    
Ellur, arm from 'ull - Good morning, I am from Hull
Summatup? - Is there something troubling you?
Parnta marld - A glass of dark beer
Arfa Larga - A smaller glass of beer of continental origin
Sner Berl - An egg-based liquer from Holland
Canaborryit? - May I borrow it?
It's marnanall - I am claiming joing-ownership
Shurrup orral bray yer - I recommend that you stop talking immediately
Yer for-ever mernin' - You do complain a lot
Ayer gorra bruvva? - Have you got a male sibling?
Watsyer bruvva carled? What is his name?
Ner smurkin' - You are not allowed to smoke
Arm off erm now, tarrar - An indication of imminent departure
      
FAMILY LIFE    
Stop balling yered off! - Be quiet!
Mimmams gunner chowatmi - I shall be in severe trouble with my mother
She's rurin' ered off - She is very upset
Gassunder - Chamberpot
Urmanaway - Australian Soap Opera
Fern Curls - Telecommunications. See also Curdlessferns
'Ull Delly Mell - Local newspaper
A star of Urmanaway
      
GAMES and PASTIMES    
Goangerided - Invitation to play a game of Hide and Seek
Plern block in tenfoot - Playing above game in an alleyway
E's a good doms larker - He plays dominoes well
Giz a croggie - Request for a ride on the crossbar of a bicycle
Bags foggy! - I would like to go first
Ullefsee - Rugby team
Bullyvard - Home ground of the above
Bluddy targers! - Hull City have lost again!
Urnly furls anurses - Popular TV series
Radiur Umbersard - Local radio station
Bluddy Targar - the legendary Ken Wagstaff
      
GARDENING    
Turd-stool - A fungus. Not to be confused with the mushroom
 
      
SHOPPING   
Gizza pennith 'gammy fruit - Could I please have some of those bruised apricots
Aypath of each - Fish and chips for half pence
Ar gorrit for narn narty narn - It cost me nearly ten pounds
I gorrit for nowt - I did not pay anything
It dunt tek farvs - This vending machine will not take my 5p coin
A penny all off - A short back and sides
Goin' on rerd - Goind shopping
Chantsav - as above
'ezzle rerd - Local thoroughfare
Boyziz - Local chain store
'ammonds - as above
British Erm Stairs - as above
Curlslur - Sliced cabbage
Kaylie - Sherbert
Spanish - Liquorice
Broken biccies - Damaged confectionary
Serp on a rerp - Cleansing bar on a string
British Erm Stairs
      
EMERGENCY/ILLNESS    
Me owsiz on fiyer darl narn narn narn - My house is ablaze. Please alert the emergency services.
Fiyer injin - Result of the above
Arv been brokken into - My house has been burgled
Gorra curled - I'm a bit stuffed-up today
Arfarted - Lack of commitment, or "I have broken wind"
Armalite - Type of rifle or "My trousers are on fire"
Av ad parls - I have been suffering from haemorrhoids
Arv bust me trowziz - My trousers appear to have broken
Osson flags - There is a horse on the pavement
 
Fiyer men with fiyer injin
THREATS/INSULTS or "Avin' a lot off"    
Worrawolly - I feel this person has made a food of himself
I'll bray yer eddin' - I may become agressive
E ad a right skate god - He was rather loud mouthed
I'll clip yer lug 'ole - Do be quiet
Shut yer cake 'ole - as above
 
      
WEATHER    
Snur on Frurm rurd - Winter in Longhill Estate
There's nur snur on the rurd - The road is clear of snow
I'm mafted - I'm rather hot
It's mafting - It's rather hot
It's siling down - It's raining
There's nur snur on the rerd
      
OFFICIALDOM  
Perp (the) - Head of the Catholic Church
Pearl Tax - The Community Charge
The Perp - alias the head of the Catholic Church
      
INTERJECTIONS    
Amgunna - I am going to....
Nowtinnit - Empty
I aren't - I am not
Dinntit? - Did it not?
Yiss - Affirmative
Err nerr - An expression of dismay
Dernt nerr - I do not know
Diddy farndowt - Did he find anything
Lerds and lerds - Plenty. See also Givin' it lerds
Canaborryit? - Could I perhaps use that for a second?
 
Copyright Remould Theatre Company © 1993 
 

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