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Fucking Idiots Who Take For Granted That Someone Will Give Way


Decimus

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Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of obscenities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

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Guest luke swarm
24 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of extremities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

a bit harsh if you don't mind me saying so, of course the correct way to negotiate these mini roundabouts is to stop, fully apply handbrake, stare intently at the other drivers all doing the same and all tut tutting, then  see whose nerve gives way first and dares to break this Mexican type standoff.  If one holds out long enough then all four contestants will attempt to enter this dangerous area en masse, leading to eye rolling and head shaking from these brave gladiators of the wasteland.  

Certainly this is Mrs Swarms tried and tested technique.  

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4 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

a bit harsh if you don't mind me saying so, of course the correct way to negotiate these mini roundabouts is to stop, fully apply handbrake, stare intently at the other drivers all doing the same and all tut tutting, then  see whose nerve gives way first and dares to break this Mexican type standoff.  If one holds out long enough then all four contestants will attempt to enter this dangerous area en masse, leading to eye rolling and head shaking from these brave gladiators of the wasteland.  

Certainly this is Mrs Swarms tried and tested technique.  

I'm not sure whether you're overly found of Mrs. S. I'm assuming that you wish her dead.

May I suggest that you hook her up with Mrs. D. and we then send them off toward Beachy head together in a Bedford Rascal stacked full of flammable substances and a Thelma and Louise soundtrack in the tape deck.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Decs, I can only recommend that if such an incident confront you again, just jump out of the car.  The bruises and scrapes from the landing will heal, but you will be alive.  If your conscious after the fall, you can witness a fine smash up, and collect life insurance.  

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of extremities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

Yeah,but she does give good head.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

A normal bloke with a fully functioning set of balls and a spine would be sitting on the right hand side of the car with the steering wheel in his hand when he's out with his missus. Are you scared of what's outside the closet??

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2 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

A normal bloke with a fully functioning set of balls and a spine would be sitting on the right hand side of the car with the steering wheel in his hand when he's out with his missus. Are you scared of what's outside the closet??

I imagine that the last time you were sober enough to clutch any wheel was 1976. Did they even have mini roundabouts then?

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Guest luke swarm
19 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

A normal bloke with a fully functioning set of balls and a spine would be sitting on the right hand side of the car with the steering wheel in his hand when he's out with his missus. Are you scared of what's outside the closet??

quite right quite right and you are absolutely correct to highlight Mr Decimus,s  weakness in this matter Drew.

By the way have they finally invented a side by side seat invalid mobility scooter, its about bloody time I say. 

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2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of extremities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

Similarly, my wife is also a stupid fucking cunt behind the wheel of a 2 tonne weapon. 

I’ve just shat myself on the way home from a night out as we careered at break-neck speeds around every corner; at a pace that would turn Lewis Hamilton white. What was the emergency (I don’t hear you ask)? “To make a green light”. 

I want her dead, without me in the car. 

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9 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Similarly, my wife is also a stupid fucking cunt behind the wheel of a 2 tonne weapon. 

I’ve just shat myself on the way home from a night out as we careered at break-neck speeds around every corner; at a pace that would turn Lewis Hamilton white. What was the emergency (I don’t hear you ask)? “To make a green light”. 

I want her dead, without me in the car. 

2 tonnes? 

I assume you've been looking at the Skoda Fabia through Range Rover tinted spectacles.

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3 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Similarly, my wife is also a stupid fucking cunt behind the wheel of a 2 tonne weapon. 

I’ve just shat myself on the way home from a night out as we careered at break-neck speeds around every corner; at a pace that would turn Lewis Hamilton white. What was the emergency (I don’t hear you ask)? “To make a green light”. 

I want her dead, without me in the car. 

Mrs peckers MO seems to be get as close to the car in front as possible. I find this slightly worrying as I'm not that confident of her concentration levels when she's banging about some random unimportant shite. 

When I pointed this out it didn't go down to well, neither did the fact that I've never had a prang, any points or speeding fines. Whereas my lovely wife has recently had to attend to speed awareness course for constantly being caught over the limit and has kept the local Renault dealer afloat with the catalogue of repair work thanks to those pesky fucking bollards that won't stay still.

 

 

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3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of extremities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

Pile of shit. 

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2 hours ago, luke swarm said:

quite right quite right and you are absolutely correct to highlight Mr Decimus,s  weakness in this matter Drew.

By the way have they finally invented a side by side seat invalid mobility scooter, its about bloody time I say. 

With an auto pilot Tesla tech.

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3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of extremities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

Have you considered it might have been a suicide attempt after years of being married to an impotent and disgusting cunt like you?

Imagine her disappointment looking at your dangling little slug hiding beneath your overhanging gut. You make me sick 

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3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Another nom based upon the antics of my idiot fucking wife whilst traversing the highways of Great Britain.

There is a mini roundabout near our house and if we want to head toward the city and semi-civilisation we turn right at it. This morning as we headed toward said roundabout to sample the delights of Norwich, a huge van with a trailer full of hay bales approached from the left of the mini roundabout. I could see that it wasn't slowing down and was about to career straight into the side of us, so kindly took the opportunity to save our lives by telling her to open her fucking eyes and brake.

Cue a stream of extremities directed at me about "How it's my fucking right of way, why should I look, it's his fucking fault". Despite trying to explain to her for ten minutes that just because it's your right of way you shouldn't drive with your eyes fucking closed whilst hoping for the best, the stupid fucking cunt still cannot grasp the fact that she needs to account for the fact that other drivers can be just as fucking thick as shit as her.

What a stupid fucking cunt.

You should go to the local hardware store and buy a heavy duty sledge hammer.Go home and use it to cave in your wife’s skull.Phone the police straight away afterwards......

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7 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Have you considered it might have been a suicide attempt after years of being married to an impotent and disgusting cunt like you?

Imagine her disappointment looking at your dangling little slug hiding beneath your overhanging gut. You make me sick 

 

39 minutes ago, Frank said:

Pile of shit. 

Let's compare the above two posts. One is from a member widely considered to be perhaps the thickest cunt to ever drape his nit-filled ponytail over Proper's welcome mat. The other is from the self-proclaimed big hitter and "best one on here".

Proof if proof was necessary that spastic trumps narcissist every single time.

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7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

 

Let's compare the above two posts. One is from a member widely considered to be perhaps the thickest cunt to ever drape his nit-filled ponytail over Proper's welcome mat. The other is from the self-proclaimed big hitter and "best one on here".

Proof if proof was necessary that spastic trumps narcissist every single time.

Given the self divulged comments about ones wife, I can only say the mats in my car are not very welcoming and are more downtrodden.

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17 minutes ago, Decimus said:

 

Let's compare the above two posts. One is from a member widely considered to be perhaps the thickest cunt to ever drape his nit-filled ponytail over Proper's welcome mat. The other is from the self-proclaimed big hitter and "best one on here".

Proof if proof was necessary that spastic trumps narcissist every single time.

Agreed, Stubby blew frank clean out of the water with that one. I'm going to have to give him a like for it. No offence.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Frank's continued presence on the corner as a "player," is ceremonial at best.  He hit his peak early, and fell from the skies not with a fiery descent, but a noticeable thud, like a ripe melon dropped from the roof of glenfell tower

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11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Agreed, Stubby blew frank clean out of the water with that one. I'm going to have to give him a like for it. No offence.

None taken. I'd give him one myself (matron) but I'm currently allocating my daily allowance to John Bull.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
48 minutes ago, Punkape said:

You should go to the local hardware store and buy a heavy duty sledge hammer.Go home and use it to cave in your wife’s skull.Phone the police straight away afterwards......

Spoken like a true catholic.  Have you thought of changing your name to Tomás de Torquemada?

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