Last Cunt Standing Posted November 18, 2018 Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/18/gps-could-prescribe-bingo-and-dancing-after-english-trials-success So the latest wheeze brought to you by the paramilitary wing of the Department of Health, is that former colleagues dish out Mecca vouchers and Tap shoes. Apparently it’s a revelation that people who move about and have some occasional cognitive stimulation are generally in better health than those who don’t. However, despite all the many levers of influence Mr Hand-Cock could pull, its left to front line healthcare, just like every cunting thing else. In the last few years of my career, I was told I was well placed to check boilers for the elderly, identify terrorists in my waiting room, and defend the country from illegal immigrants. Medicine? Just haven’t got the time, Mate. Handing back my PREVENT Counter-Terrorism manual was a special joy, just before I left the building laughing like a pink Fat Man on Bangla Road. All serves to neatly distract the Press though, from an age-old truth; money is still the best predictor of health, which is why a walk from one end of Glasgow to the other will cost you 25 years of life expectancy, and significantly more on Old Firm day. As the country gets poorer, our expectations better adjust downward, too. Bingo and Dancing. What an utter load of Arse gravy. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 18, 2018 Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 I dunno about Tap Shoes, but I tried Tap Dancing and fell into the sink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 18, 2018 Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 Good idea. Some of these fuckers come into us and need to be told to get exercise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 The problem here is mobile phones. You can now do everything from the comfort of your armchair from playing on line bingo, socialising with friends on FuckFace or Twatter, you can even go fishing or play darts. So, my prescription would be, take the fat cunts internet access away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 Or the cunts could just take responsibility for their own corpulence, carcinogen uptake and general well-being? "What!!? These Marlboro King Size don't contain Vitamin C? I'm sure I read something on Instagram saying they did?" "I can't move out of my armchair and need to shovel cheese into every orifice because I've got a thyroid problem" (It's always a fucking thyroid problem with these Barbapapa clones) "My Sky-Q is on the blink so I think of got PTSD - you've got to write me a sick note!" "I start to photosynthesize if I see daylight, so I have to stay in bed all day with the curtains closed" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 15 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/18/gps-could-prescribe-bingo-and-dancing-after-english-trials-success So the latest wheeze brought to you by the paramilitary wing of the Department of Health, is that former colleagues dish out Mecca vouchers and Tap shoes. Apparently it’s a revelation that people who move about and have some occasional cognitive stimulation are generally in better health than those who don’t. However, despite all the many levers of influence Mr Hand-Cock could pull, its left to front line healthcare, just like every cunting thing else. In the last few years of my career, I was told I was well placed to check boilers for the elderly, identify terrorists in my waiting room, and defend the country from illegal immigrants. Medicine? Just haven’t got the time, Mate. Handing back my PREVENT Counter-Terrorism manual was a special joy, just before I left the building laughing like a pink Fat Man on Bangla Road. All serves to neatly distract the Press though, from an age-old truth; money is still the best predictor of health, which is why a walk from one end of Glasgow to the other will cost you 25 years of life expectancy, and significantly more on Old Firm day. As the country gets poorer, our expectations better adjust downward, too. Bingo and Dancing. What an utter load of Arse gravy. Fuck off. You should be knighted and put in charge of the BMA. My experiences of such things in my latter years in the health service were beyond fucking parody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 2 hours ago, cuntspotter said: You should be knighted and put in charge of the BMA. My experiences of such things in my latter years in the health service were beyond fucking parody. Were you actually qualified? Just asking like, you can't be too careful nowadays. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 53 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Were you actually qualified? Just asking like, you can't be too careful nowadays. If you mean qualified as in Certified, then the answer is yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Or the cunts could just take responsibility for their own corpulence, carcinogen uptake and general well-being? "What!!? These Marlboro King Size don't contain Vitamin C? I'm sure I read something on Instagram saying they did?" "I can't move out of my armchair and need to shovel cheese into every orifice because I've got a thyroid problem" (It's always a fucking thyroid problem with these Barbapapa clones) "My Sky-Q is on the blink so I think of got PTSD - you've got to write me a sick note!" "I start to photosynthesize if I see daylight, so I have to stay in bed all day with the curtains closed" Cigarettes with vitamin C? I know who's got a Denis Leary DVD on their shelf. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Cigarettes with vitamin C? He may have misheard "big C". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 20 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/18/gps-could-prescribe-bingo-and-dancing-after-english-trials-success So the latest wheeze brought to you by the paramilitary wing of the Department of Health, is that former colleagues dish out Mecca vouchers and Tap shoes. Apparently it’s a revelation that people who move about and have some occasional cognitive stimulation are generally in better health than those who don’t. However, despite all the many levers of influence Mr Hand-Cock could pull, its left to front line healthcare, just like every cunting thing else. In the last few years of my career, I was told I was well placed to check boilers for the elderly, identify terrorists in my waiting room, and defend the country from illegal immigrants. Medicine? Just haven’t got the time, Mate. Handing back my PREVENT Counter-Terrorism manual was a special joy, just before I left the building laughing like a pink Fat Man on Bangla Road. All serves to neatly distract the Press though, from an age-old truth; money is still the best predictor of health, which is why a walk from one end of Glasgow to the other will cost you 25 years of life expectancy, and significantly more on Old Firm day. As the country gets poorer, our expectations better adjust downward, too. Bingo and Dancing. What an utter load of Arse gravy. Fuck off. Pay people to cycle and walk to work. This would save the NHS a few quid in the long run. I'm owed about 50 grand in back pay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Cigarettes with vitamin C? I know who's got a Denis Leary DVD on their shelf. I knew I'd heard it somewhere before. The photosynthsize thing was half-remembered from 'The Young Ones' too Sometimes - fuck it, a lot of the times - this stuff really does write itself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 On 11/18/2018 at 5:28 PM, 'eavensabove said: I dunno about Tap Shoes, but I tried Tap Dancing and fell into the sink. Get yer fuckin' coat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 9 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Were you actually qualified? Just asking like, you can't be too careful nowadays. I was a registered nurse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 7 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: I was a registered nurse. Show us your stocking tops, you saucy minx. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 9 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: I was a registered nurse. Yeah. We all heard about that. You were the only ward sister without numbers on the thermometer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 22 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: I was a registered nurse. Has Frank asked you to be his live in carer yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 15 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Has Frank asked you to be his live in carer yet? It is only a matter of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 39 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: I was a registered nurse. Big fucking deal. So are Rolf Harris and Gary Glitter. (edit: misread "nurse".) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 On 11/18/2018 at 5:06 PM, Last Cunt Standing said: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/18/gps-could-prescribe-bingo-and-dancing-after-english-trials-success So the latest wheeze brought to you by the paramilitary wing of the Department of Health, is that former colleagues dish out Mecca vouchers and Tap shoes. Apparently it’s a revelation that people who move about and have some occasional cognitive stimulation are generally in better health than those who don’t. However, despite all the many levers of influence Mr Hand-Cock could pull, its left to front line healthcare, just like every cunting thing else. In the last few years of my career, I was told I was well placed to check boilers for the elderly, identify terrorists in my waiting room, and defend the country from illegal immigrants. Medicine? Just haven’t got the time, Mate. Handing back my PREVENT Counter-Terrorism manual was a special joy, just before I left the building laughing like a pink Fat Man on Bangla Road. All serves to neatly distract the Press though, from an age-old truth; money is still the best predictor of health, which is why a walk from one end of Glasgow to the other will cost you 25 years of life expectancy, and significantly more on Old Firm day. As the country gets poorer, our expectations better adjust downward, too. Bingo and Dancing. What an utter load of Arse gravy. Fuck off. I know many a wealthy person who has drunk a bottle of plonk by 11am. They don’t live in Glasgow, but will die at the same rate. its all about no being too much of a cunt. if you want to live on fried confectionary and a pint of heavy, then don’t expect to get the Queen telegram at 100. fucking cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 9 hours ago, cuntspotter said: It is only a matter of time. What will you do when he asks for a sits bath with a raging erection and his usual lecherous grin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said: What will you do when he asks for a sits bath with a raging erection and his usual lecherous grin. He will then discover why I carry a large mallet with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: He will then discover why I carry a large mallet with me. No possibility of proactive application, then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 10 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: He will then discover why I carry a large mallet with me. Tommy Mallet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 16 hours ago, cuntspotter said: I was a registered nurse. Night Nurse you daft old cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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