Earl of Punkape Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 After I saw a swan swimming through the effluent in the Cherwell it put me right off swan as an edible feast. Eat shit! Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 19, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Cunty BigBollox said: After I saw a swan swimming through the effluent in the Cherwell it put me right off swan as an edible feast. Eat shit! Lol My swan will be hand picked from a private estate near Thame. Enjoy your Aldi Turkey crown... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 21 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said: Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. Another standard output from the Pukeape executable. It’s just a shame the executable doesn’t execute itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 The only cunts who eat swans are the filthy Eastern Europeans, who have no respect for the law when they kill them. Goose is OK, but very fatty. Turkey is for fucking cat food. As for all the accoutrements cunts put with it, fucking vile. Personally, I have rib of beef from the local farm. This year we are being lazy cunts and eating out at the local Galvin restaurant. True Christians ie fundamentalist nut jobs, do not celebrate Christmas day as a holy day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Queefer Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 33 minutes ago, The Beast said: The only cunts who eat swans are the filthy Eastern Europeans, who have no respect for the law when they kill them. Goose is OK, but very fatty. Turkey is for fucking cat food. As for all the accoutrements cunts put with it, fucking vile. Personally, I have rib of beef from the local farm. This year we are being lazy cunts and eating out at the local Galvin restaurant. True Christians ie fundamentalist nut jobs, do not celebrate Christmas day as a holy day. More perplexing are those pikeys who choose capon " A castrated domestic cock fattened for eating " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Lord Punkape said: Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. I take it that this 'friend' of yours will be an integral part of your 3-trannybird spit-roast, comprising of Spatch-cocked Woodcock, Peacock & Turkeycock all on the bone. Edited November 19, 2018 by 'eavensabove Bernard Mathews Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 (edited) It's no secret that I fuck off for Christmas. I can't be arsed to peel me sprouts whilst straining to hear 'Gone With The Wind' from me kitchen. Once yer kids have growed up, going away during the Season of Yule is the best fucking move that you can make as a parent. Over the years I've tried the fucking lot: Overpriced Xmas lunches via Just Eat; Hampers from Fortitude & Mansions and renting a Villa in Stockton-On-Tees, and all three suck. I opt for 1st Class services and amenities away from it all, and its the one day of the year that me tent gets a good airing on Alderney. A quick hop from Southampton airport and I'm dining on top nosh in the outskirts of St. Anne. Edited November 19, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 Christmas fare for me is a time-honoured tradition - deep-fried Chocolate Orange. It's as close as I ever get to actual fruit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 19, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 4 hours ago, Iam Ape said: Another standard output from the Pukeape executable. It’s just a shame the executable doesn’t execute itself. Ape will stuff his fish smelling, battery farmed Tesco Turkey with “best before” beans .It will be washed down with Lambrini.... lol. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said: Ape will stuff his fish smelling, battery farmed Tesco Turkey with “best before” beans .It will be washed down with Lambrini.... lol. We all know what you will be having stuffed over Xmas, don’t we? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 4 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said: Ape will stuff his fish smelling, battery farmed Tesco Turkey with “best before” beans .It will be washed down with Lambrini.... "Sitting here in Queens, eating refried beans, We're in all the magazines, gulpin' down Thorazines" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: "Sitting here in Queens, eating refried beans, We're in all the magazines, gulpin' down Thorazines" "I'm friends with the president, friends with the pope, we're making a fortune selling daddy's dope" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 5 hours ago, Lord Punkape said: Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. Agreed. Turkey should be banned and the only fowl cunts can have for their Christmas meal is Canada Goose, punishable by death. Within a few years these feral alien cunts will be wiped out from the UK. Muntjac deer for New Year, Signal Crayfish for Easter and Grey Squirrel for birthdays. Job done. Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 3 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: It's no secret that I fuck off for Christmas. I can't be arsed to peel me sprouts whilst straining to hear 'Gone With The Wind' from me kitchen. Once yer kids have growed up, going away during the Season of Yule is the best fucking move that you can make as a parent. Over the years I've tried the fucking lot: Overpriced Xmas lunches via Just Eat; Hampers from Fortitude & Mansions and renting a Villa in Stockton-On-Tees, and all three suck. I opt for 1st Class services and amenities away from it all, and its the one day of the year that me tent gets a good airing on Alderney. A quick hop from Southampton airport and I'm dining on top nosh in the outskirts of St. Anne. Why not make it a longer break, you deserve it. Starting right now would be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 44 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Agreed. Turkey should be banned and the only fowl cunts can have for their Christmas meal is Canada Goose, punishable by death. Within a few years these feral alien cunts will be wiped out from the UK. Muntjac deer for New Year, Signal Crayfish for Easter and Grey Squirrel for birthdays. Job done. Fuck off Too dry, and difficult to stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Lord Punkape said: Ape will stuff his fish smelling, battery farmed Tesco Turkey with “best before” beans .It will be washed down with Lambrini.... lol. 'Everyone is welcome at Tesco'. A piss poor Christmas ad, which would have been much better with 'Even that boring cunt Ape' written in. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 19, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 10 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Too dry, and difficult to stuff. Indeed and no wonderful fat for roast spuds or a delicious cassoulet.A spare jar of goose fat should also be reserved for your local prostitute who are always grateful... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: Agreed. Turkey should be banned and the only fowl cunts can have for their Christmas meal is Canada Goose, punishable by death. Within a few years these feral alien cunts will be wiped out from the UK. Muntjac deer for New Year, Signal Crayfish for Easter and Grey Squirrel for birthdays. Job done. Fuck off Will never happen. It takes a howitzer shell to kill the fuckers. They've been on the pest list for several years, meaning they can be shot any time of the year, with no discernable impact on the population. Who would spend £2 per non-toxic shot cartridge to shoot something that's barely edible? Wild Pink Footed or Greylag goose is the way to go for Christmas. Punkape, shove a 40lb turkey on your head and suffocate you odious little poof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 41 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Why not make it a longer break, you deserve it. Starting right now would be good. What, and break-away from a traditional Xmas? Ged out of 'ere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 Judy, will take everybody's giblets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 16 minutes ago, DrCunt said: Will never happen. It takes a howitzer shell to kill the fuckers. They've been on the pest list for several years, meaning they can be shot any time of the year, with no discernable impact on the population. Who would spend £2 per non-toxic shot cartridge to shoot something that's barely edible? Wild Pink Footed or Greylag goose is the way to go for Christmas. Punkape, shove a 40lb turkey on your head and suffocate you odious little puff. He did that last year... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 Joe Weider anabolic megapack (''the key to greater definition - and turns your cock into a clitoris"), with a Whey and Banana shake, half a dozen choline and inositols, some dessicated liver tablets and a handful of ketamine chewables. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: Too dry, and difficult to stuff. I would have thought you'd have well basted your Canada Goose first. Maybe it's the saltiness of the baste that's making it dry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Lord Punkape said: Firstly Christmas Dinner is for peasants.The meal should be eaten at lunchtime with all participants having been to a Christian Service in the morning. The traditional roast should be goose.Turkey is acceptable for lower-middle classes provided the bird is free range. For the better connected, such as myself, a better version of goose is roast Swan which I’ve arranged for the Punkapes through a friend in Oxford. Fuck off. Have to disagree, Punkers. Casa De Wiz shall be serving a brilliant, prime standing rib roast with herb crusted layer, twice baked potato, fresh salad, and an assortment of home baked biscuits and fine confections. The lorry full of liquor is expected to deliver this week. You're NOT invited. Religious nutters take a crossbow bolt to the heart upon approach! LOL Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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