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Earl of Punkape

Cunts who don’t like Truffles

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With the arrival of Christmas I have recently arranged a consignment of this wonderful fungi from my Chelsea truffle broker.

White truffles from northern Italy are the dearest and should be thinly shaved onto fresh pasta dishes or with omelettes.

Black truffles from Périgord in France are particularly fine.The taste is not dissimilar to white but their perfume is less intense and musky, not dissimilar to women from central West Africa.

Obviously truffles are financially beyond the reach of ordinary cunts who are probably happier with a tin of creamed mushrooms anyway...

Fuck off.

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7 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said:

With the arrival of Christmas I have recently arranged a consignment of this wonderful fungi from my Chelsea truffle broker.

White truffles from northern Italy are the dearest and should be thinly shaved onto fresh pasta dishes or with omelettes.

Black truffles from Périgord in France are particularly fine.The taste is not dissimilar to white but their perfume is less intense and musky, not dissimilar to women from central West Africa.

Obviously truffles are financially beyond the reach of ordinary cunts who are probably happier with a tin of creamed mushrooms anyway...

Fuck off.

Christmas lunch in the cluhouse at Pott Shrigley?

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Chelsea truffle broker? Is this Polari? ie "I fancied some rough trade, so contacted my Chelsea truffle broker, and ended up with AIDS."

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4 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Chelsea truffle broker? Is this Polari? ie "I fancied some rough trade, so contacted my Chelsea truffle broker, and ended up with AIDS."

Its a posh hotel in the Cheshire peak district .. Punkape cleans the toilets.

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45 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said:

With the arrival of Christmas I have recently arranged a consignment of this wonderful fungi from my Chelsea truffle broker.

White truffles from northern Italy are the dearest and should be thinly shaved onto fresh pasta dishes or with omelettes.

Black truffles from Périgord in France are particularly fine.The taste is not dissimilar to white but their perfume is less intense and musky, not dissimilar to women from central West Africa.

Obviously truffles are financially beyond the reach of ordinary cunts who are probably happier with a tin of creamed mushrooms anyway...

Fuck off.

While I agree with your general sentiments about these wonderful little beauties punkers, they really don't travel well. A trip to the Adriatic coast is one of the best ways of discovering the joys of truffle munching, opposite Venice around Rovinj and Porec, or a long weekend in Norcia for the November truffle festival. 

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Punky, your comments, while mildly entertaining, are utter bollocks.  The only fungii you know are of the hallucinogenic shroom type.  It's the only way you can remain consistently cuntish.  

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3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Punky, your comments, while mildly entertaining, are utter bollocks.  The only fungii you know are of the hallucinogenic shroom type.  It's the only way you can remain consistently cuntish.  

I have it on good authority Punkers knows several 'fun guys'

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5 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

I have it on good authority Punkers knows several 'fun guys'

He's been updating his contacts from the stall partitions in the gents again?  

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2 hours ago, Lord Punkape said:

With the arrival of Christmas I have recently arranged a consignment of this wonderful fungi from my Chelsea truffle broker.

White truffles from northern Italy are the dearest and should be thinly shaved onto fresh pasta dishes or with omelettes.

Black truffles from Périgord in France are particularly fine.The taste is not dissimilar to white but their perfume is less intense and musky, not dissimilar to women from central West Africa.

Obviously truffles are financially beyond the reach of ordinary cunts who are probably happier with a tin of creamed mushrooms anyway...

Fuck off.

I expect you use truffles to tempt unsuspecting Gloucester Old Spots into your hovel. Lol.

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Just now, Iam Ape said:

I expect you use truffles to tempt unsuspecting Gloucester Old Spots into your hovel. Lol.

I bet he makes a noise like a truffle pig when he's sniffing pants at the golf club locker room.

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27 minutes ago, Iam Ape said:

I expect you use truffles to tempt unsuspecting Gloucester Old Spots into your hovel. Lol.

Ape will associate a truffle with something he might find in a box of downmarket supermarket chocolates.

He will then head for the baked bean aisle...

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1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Punky, your comments, while mildly entertaining, are utter bollocks.  The only fungii you know are of the hallucinogenic shroom type.  It's the only way you can remain consistently cuntish.  

Porcini is likely to be the name of one of your rent boys...

lol.

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9 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said:

Porcini is likely to be the name of one of your rent boys...

lol.

I loved that old Ian Dury song. 

Ceps and drugs and rock and roll. 

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4 hours ago, Lord Punkape said:

With the arrival of Christmas I have recently arranged a consignment of this wonderful fungi from my Chelsea truffle broker.

White truffles from northern Italy are the dearest and should be thinly shaved onto fresh pasta dishes or with omelettes.

Black truffles from Périgord in France are particularly fine.The taste is not dissimilar to white but their perfume is less intense and musky, not dissimilar to women from central West Africa.

Obviously truffles are financially beyond the reach of ordinary cunts who are probably happier with a tin of creamed mushrooms anyway...

Fuck off.

You're just a total fucking wanker, you wouldn't know the difference between vaseline and putty.

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7 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross said:

You're just a total fucking wanker, you wouldn't know the difference between vaseline and putty.

Another useless twat without an avatar.Also a tinned mushroom pleb beyond all doubt.

lol.

 

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4 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

Chelsea truffle broker? Is this Polari? ie "I fancied some rough trade, so contacted my Chelsea truffle broker, and ended up with AIDS."

The nearest you’ve ever got to finest fungi is having ringworm.

lol.

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9 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said:

Another useless twat without an avatar.Also a tinned mushroom pleb beyond all doubt.

lol.

 

Only when they're on the reduced shelf of course. Cunt probably spends most of his monthly PIP allowance his Cartoon Network subscription and fucking Beano comics (just to look at the pictures - reading is too difficult) before he gets around to buying food.

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Just now, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

Are you working at christmas in the clubhouse at Shrigley Hall .. bedding down in the potting shed?

I assume you’ll be in West Africa looking for a Mbongo.

lol.

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