Jump to content
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

Recommended Posts

Just now, Frank said:

I’ve just had a huge row with my daughter over her refusal to stop saying ‘can I get’. I won’t stand for it, ape. 

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Iam Ape said:

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

Has she ever told you that you’re a weak father?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Iam Ape said:

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

You boring fucking cunt

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Iam Ape said:

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

Very good Indian on Hucclecote road, generally though the place is a fucking dump even by Glawster standards

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Frank said:

I’ve just had a huge row with my daughter over her refusal to stop saying ‘can I get’. I won’t stand for it, ape. 

That's the first sensible comment you've made in three years frank. I concur wholeheartedly, imho such revolting behaviour should result in the disinheritance of whatever pittance you had earmarked for her. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Iam Ape said:

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

Please describe the colour and consistency of the vomit.Did you extract nice morsels in the vomit for your own consumption ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

Blocking Brexit could cause far-right surge - Grayling

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46847169

 

There’s only one thing to do. Gather every member of the Commons and Lords in the Palace of Westminster. ( an offer of free taxpayers money will do the trick )

Lock the doors and burn the fucking place to the ground.

Sorted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

There’s only one thing to do. Gather every member of the Commons and Lords in the Palace of Westminster. ( an offer of free taxpayers money will do the trick )

Lock the doors and burn the fucking place to the ground.

Sorted.

So you want them to REMAIN.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/22/2018 at 10:09 PM, Iam Ape said:

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

Fucking lightweight. When she's found face down in someones garden covered in piss, then I'll tip my hat to her. Better still, lying in someones fish pond 😉

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Fucking lightweight. When she's found face down in someones garden covered in piss, then I'll tip my hat to her. Better still, lying in someones fish pond 😉

Indeed. Those Koi carp are worth a fucking fortune. Did you carry them back to the caravan in your handbag full of piss?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎12‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 10:09 PM, Iam Ape said:

My daughter had to be extracted from a “gathering” last night, at a respectable house in Hucclecote, as she was pissed out of her head. The parents of the host child were oblivious to what was going on, until my daughter threw up everywhere. Once home she rambled on and on about how much she loved me, which was actually quite nice. After an hour with her head down the toilet, she was unceremoniously dumped in her bed. She has learned a harsh lesson in the evils of drink. However, despite all this shit, she has never, ever, said “can I get”.

I'd say that you have a potential problem on your hands, seeing as your daughter is only 6.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

So there you have it, your vote was irrelevant, whether you voted leave or remain, that shower of self-serving parasitic cunts in Westminster get to play around with politics and do whatever the fuck they want, just remember that the next time you're invited to cast your vote, it means NOTHING!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
48 minutes ago, cooze said:

 

So there you have it, your vote was irrelevant, whether you voted leave or remain, that shower of self-serving parasitic cunts in Westminster get to play around with politics and do whatever the fuck they want, just remember that the next time you're invited to cast your vote, it means NOTHING!

I don't know what you're moaning about. You'll get a no deal Brexit and all power and control will once again be in the hands of the upstanding and trustworthy members of our beloved parliament. Isn't that what you wanted?

Brexit means Brexit.

Lol

Fuck off.

  • Cunt 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That both sides of the Brexit debate consider last night's vote as a victory shows how utterly bizarre British Politics is right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

That both sides of the Brexit debate consider last night's vote as a victory shows how utterly bizarre British Politics is right now.

And of course the media .. the BBC especially who are trying to manipulate rather than to report factually. Interesting that they are only reporting on leavers who they say have changed their minds and ignore remainers who might well now have become leavers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

That both sides of the Brexit debate consider last night's vote as a victory shows how utterly bizarre British Politics is right now.

I think how shit May's WA was (past-tense entirely apt) was the only thing the paramilitary wings of both sides could unite around

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

And of course the media .. the BBC especially who are trying to manipulate rather than to report factually. Interesting that they are only reporting on leavers who they say have changed their minds and ignore remainers who might well now have become leavers.

Pen some facetious cunt on here recently suggested that you might possess a tranny set of rattling cock and balls. Say it ain’t so. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Frank said:

Pen some facetious cunt on here recently suggested that you might possess a tranny set of rattling cock and balls. Say it ain’t so. 

The is a rampant rabbit in the draws somewhere and a stopcock under the sink but I have neither testicles or a penile appendage but why destroy certain peoples fantasies?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

The is a rampant rabbit in the draws somewhere and a stopcock under the sink but I have neither testicles or a penile appendage but why destroy certain peoples fantasies?

Phew. There’s been a lot of shit and some of it sticks. One Alfie Noakes is plenty. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×