Penny Farthing Posted December 25, 2018 Report Share Posted December 25, 2018 Why aren't there any fucking buses today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 25, 2018 Report Share Posted December 25, 2018 25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Good call. Or maybe 7.62 NATO. With arctic ice disappearing, Polar Bears are entering native villages then killing and consuming humans. Albert isn't human, but will a Polar bear kill and consume him? Only one way to find out...everybody willing to throw in a tenner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 On 12/24/2018 at 3:25 PM, Decimus said: An annual pension worth more than most on here, I'd wager. Even without an increase in wage or inflation, I'll be looking at close to 30k a year. Add to that my property portfolio, a similar pension from my awful fucking wife, and I'd say my retirement is going to be pretty fucking rosy. Of course, you'll be dead by then, so you'll never know. If all goes to plan, £30k will represent about 45 days of my pension entitlement. The inherited property portfolio, as you are aware, belongs to your better half - bear that in mind when Mrs D finds you surplus to requirements. I would add that I'm reasonably fit whereas you are a chain smoker who indulges in alcohol and drug binges so statistically you will, in all probability, pre-decease me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 3 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: If all goes to plan, £30k will represent about 45 days of my pension entitlement. The inherited property portfolio, as you are aware, belongs to your better half - bear that in mind when Mrs D finds you surplus to requirements. I would add that I'm reasonably fit whereas you are a chain smoker who indulges in alcohol and drug binges so statistically you will, in all probability, pre-decease me. Forgive me, maths is not my strong point. If 30k represents 45 days of your entitlement, that will leave you with a pension of just over 243k a year. I'm not as incredulous as I would have been had Monumental quoted this figure as you're clearly not a complete fucking fantasist idiot. Based on my own scheme, which I'm sure you are aware is one of the most generous, it would take 40 years of contributions based on a salary of around 380,000k per year. You'd also be in the top 1% of earners in the UK. You can understand me when I say, I don't fucking believe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 55 minutes ago, Decimus said: You can understand me when I say, I don't fucking believe it. That's because you're thinking in defined benefit scheme terms, increasingly rare these days. Lob some MC-level bonuses into a well-managed defined contribution pot over time and you'll soon build up a few million. This was a comparatively shit plan in the days of compulsory annuities, but much more attractive under current pension legislation. The trouble for me is that word "current". I instinctively distrust anything that the government can change its mind over later, so while I hold some pension funds for tax reasons, I prefer to salt the majority of my own meagre provisions elsewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Forgive me, maths is not my strong point. If 30k represents 45 days of your entitlement, that will leave you with a pension of just over 243k a year. I'm not as incredulous as I would have been had Monumental quoted this figure as you're clearly not a complete fucking fantasist idiot. Based on my own scheme, which I'm sure you are aware is one of the most generous, it would take 40 years of contributions based on a salary of around 380,000k per year. You'd also be in the top 1% of earners in the UK. You can understand me when I say, I don't fucking believe it. Kerching! Precisely. To be fair, I understand your scepticism but you work in the public service sector where only chief executives earn serious coin. You also probably just got in a final salary pension, so whilst very secure it will only provide a retirement that is "comfortable", which is subjective to say the least. Initially, I was employed by the public sector, but quickly realised that I did not want to do the same job for the next 35-40 years. I don't consider myself to be any cleverer than you but I know how to apply myself and take calculated risks. I also know what my skill set it is and who pays top dollar for them. Additionally I was prepared to invest time obtaining necessary post grad qualifications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 4 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: Kerching! Precisely. To be fair, I understand your scepticism but you work in the public service sector where only chief executives earn serious coin. You also probably just got in a final salary pension, so whilst very secure it will only provide a retirement that is "comfortable", which is subjective to say the least. Initially, I was employed by the public sector, but quickly realised that I did not want to do the same job for the next 35-40 years. I don't consider myself to be any cleverer than you but I know how to apply myself and take calculated risks. I also know what my skill set it is and who pays top dollar for them. Additionally I was prepared to invest time obtaining necessary post grad qualifications. Unbearable doesn’t even come close. You just can’t help yourself, can you? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 10 minutes ago, Iam Ape said: Unbearable doesn’t even come close. You just can’t help yourself, can you? I would give you all my 'likes' for this, if I had tme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 5 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: Kerching! Precisely. To be fair, I understand your scepticism but you work in the public service sector where only chief executives earn serious coin. You also probably just got in a final salary pension, so whilst very secure it will only provide a retirement that is "comfortable", which is subjective to say the least. Initially, I was employed by the public sector, but quickly realised that I did not want to do the same job for the next 35-40 years. I don't consider myself to be any cleverer than you but I know how to apply myself and take calculated risks. I also know what my skill set it is and who pays top dollar for them. Additionally I was prepared to invest time obtaining necessary post grad qualifications. I'm well aware that with the right ambition and drive the private sector offers a wealth of opportunities and money. Alas it was never for me, I've always preferred to take the easiest path possible whilst reaping relatively generous benefits. I'll be happy to coast to a comfortable retirement whilst spending a career in a stress free environment. I'll never have 100's of thousands of pounds at my disposal, but I'll never have to worry about money either. Each to their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: I would give you all my 'likes' for this, if I had tme. Withers, I really hope this is all one of your little jokes. Despite you being a complete and utter fucking wanker, I don’t like the thought of you, or anyone else for that matter, being in the state you say you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Decimus said: I'm well aware that with the right ambition and drive the private sector offers a wealth of opportunities and money. Alas it was never for me, I've always preferred to take the easiest path possible whilst reaping relatively generous benefits. I'll be happy to coast to a comfortable retirement whilst spending a career in a stress free environment. I'll never have 100's of thousands of pounds at my disposal, but I'll never have to worry about money either. Each to their own. I expect she chooses to moderate this fucking place to keep herself in touch with reality - all that wealth could turn someone into a conceited, self-centred braggart, if they didn’t do something to “keep it real”. I’m on @Monumental cunt‘s side from now on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Decimus said: I'm well aware that with the right ambition and drive the private sector offers a wealth of opportunities and money. Alas it was never for me, I've always preferred to take the easiest path possible whilst reaping relatively generous benefits. I'll be happy to coast to a comfortable retirement whilst spending a career in a stress free environment. I'll never have 100's of thousands of pounds at my disposal, but I'll never have to worry about money either. Each to their own. Decs old fiend, I had a drug induced dream just now. Roops was on her hubby's new boat off the Horn of Africa, and she was being fucked to death by 3 Somalian pirates. It was so real, in so much, as surely, they couldn't miss her with AK-47s' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 4 hours ago, Iam Ape said: Unbearable doesn’t even come close. You just can’t help yourself, can you? I was aiming for insufferable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Iam Ape said: I expect she chooses to moderate this fucking place to keep herself in touch with reality - all that wealth could turn someone into a conceited, self-centred braggart, if they didn’t do something to “keep it real”. I’m on @Monumental cunt‘s side from now on. The Corner is an odd place to come if you're looking for reality. For me its simply a guilty pleasure, a piece of whimsy, nothing more, nothing less. Well maybe a good scrap now and then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 3 hours ago, Decimus said: I'm well aware that with the right ambition and drive the private sector offers a wealth of opportunities and money. Alas it was never for me, I've always preferred to take the easiest path possible whilst reaping relatively generous benefits. I'll be happy to coast to a comfortable retirement whilst spending a career in a stress free environment. I'll never have 100's of thousands of pounds at my disposal, but I'll never have to worry about money either. Each to their own. The way things are going, retirement will be reduced to a pikey's con game. Live in the here and now; eat, fornicate, drink, and slate the world's cunts. For variety, change the order occasionally. You can't take the money with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 7 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: The Corner is an odd place to come if you're looking for reality. For me its simply a guilty pleasure, a piece of whimsy, nothing more, nothing less. Well maybe a good scrap now and then. I’m not looking for reality here - the exact opposite in fact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 On 12/25/2018 at 2:16 PM, ratcum said: Albert, you've gone fuckin mad! If a Korean dog eats another dog is it a cannibal, or just a Korean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Roadkill said: If a Korean dog eats another dog is it a cannibal, or just a Korean? Its ethnic Chinese. Do you like puppy dog stew? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 1 hour ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said: Its ethnic Chinese. Do you like puppy dog stew? Too stringy for my liking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 1 hour ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said: Its ethnic Chinese. Do you like puppy dog stew? I'm a sucker for those big puppy dog eyes looking up at me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 On 12/25/2018 at 3:16 PM, ratcum said: Ratty, is that you putting money in the case? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 19 hours ago, Iam Ape said: Withers, I really hope this is all one of your little jokes. Despite you being a complete and utter fucking wanker, I don’t like the thought of you, or anyone else for that matter, being in the state you say you are. Drip. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 23 minutes ago, Frank said: Drip. Who’s the other homosexual in this video? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 34 minutes ago, Iam Ape said: Who’s the other homosexual in this video? I don't know, but he's got a very shiny helmet... ETA: Yes, I know it's a visor, but "shiny helmet" was ever-so-marginally more amusing. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 27, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 38 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I don't know, but he's got a very shiny helmet... ETA: Yes, I know it's a visor, but "shiny helmet" was ever-so-marginally more amusing. Fucking hell, has Frank got polio? Look at the state of his little F.D.R. legs hanging over the side, the Tiny Tim looking cunt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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