BBC's politically correct Hercule fuckin' Poirot

[and]

So, I settled down to watch the BBC's version of Hercule Poirot .

Not usually interested in historical drama about bloody foreigners, but it was Malkovich, who can usually put in a decent turn, so I gave it a go.

Imagine my disappointment when I find the BBC had hired a writer to turn Agatha Christie's mystery story into some politically correct, bullshit  propaganda, broadcast, probably to keep the LGBT brigade happy.

If the BBC wants to waste my licence fee spouting that sort of shite, they should do it with their own specially written screenplays for twatty, bum-fuck rug-munching, right-on, snowflakes and quit fucking about with a classic crime author.

What a shower of cunts !

[Roadkill]

What the fuck do you expect from the BBC in this day and age?

[Cuntybaws]

I just saw an advert for Vicks Sinex which only had white people in it. It was like going back in time.

[Cunty BigBollox]

You could have changed channels, or does your wife tell you what you can watch? Grow a pair.

[Neil]

2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I just saw an advert for Vicks Sinex which only had white people in it. It was like going back in time.

That's because the darkies keep losing them up their hooters

[Cunty BigBollox]

3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I just saw an advert for Vicks Sinex which only had white people in it. It was like going back in time.

Yes, but they were probably gay so that would be okay. Presumably it was dispensed from the tiny phallus shaped object being thrust into an orifice.

[Guest A Smashing Cunt]

The BBC have fucked every single bit of their output now with diversity and cultural marxism,they are beyond fucking woeful,other channels arent far behind tbh,its everywhere now,we are drowning in a sea of diversity and I cant see a fucking life raft.......

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

The Beeb WANTS a society of Jimmy Savile noncing, prancing faggot cunts.  The brave new world of multi-cultural acceptance.  

Take off, nuke the site from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure.

[Guest A Smashing Cunt]

37 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

The Beeb WANTS a society of Jimmy Savile noncing, prancing faggot cunts.  The brave new world of multi-cultural acceptance.  

Take off, nuke the site from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure.

Affirmative

[Guest N/A]

On 12/28/2018 at 5:12 PM, cooze said:

So, I settled down to watch the BBC's version of Hercule Poirot .

Not usually interested in historical drama about bloody foreigners, but it was Malkovich, who can usually put in a decent turn, so I gave it a go.

Imagine my disappointment when I find the BBC had hired a writer to turn Agatha Christie's mystery story into some politically correct, bullshit  propaganda, broadcast, probably to keep the LGBT brigade happy.

If the BBC wants to waste my licence fee spouting that sort of shite, they should do it with their own specially written screenplays for twatty, bum-fuck rug-munching, right-on, snowflakes and quit fucking about with a classic crime author.

What a shower of cunts !

Don’t tell me the victim was a murdered transgender confused gay cunt in drag, and the murderer was obviously a white Anglo Saxon male.  The good guys were a selection of gay female ugly butch cunts,  wheelchair bound black woman, Mr nice guy black man who didn’t steal anything, smoke anything or call his woman bitch, but he was a lazy cunt, no ones that good an actor to cover that up. The police were all effeminate, the English man was played by an Asian.  The English woman was played by a South African.  Iam amazed Poirot wasn’t turned into a black woman or Lezza just like Doctor Who.

[and]

On 12/28/2018 at 5:47 PM, Cunty BigBollox said:

Grow a pair.

I did grow a pear, but I had to ram it up my arse, along with a banana and a gerbil, I had loads of fun at the office party 😉

[Stubby Pecker]

On 12/28/2018 at 5:12 PM, cooze said:

So, I settled down to watch the BBC's version of Hercule Poirot .

Not usually interested in historical drama about bloody foreigners, but it was Malkovich, who can usually put in a decent turn, so I gave it a go.

Imagine my disappointment when I find the BBC had hired a writer to turn Agatha Christie's mystery story into some politically correct, bullshit  propaganda, broadcast, probably to keep the LGBT brigade happy.

If the BBC wants to waste my licence fee spouting that sort of shite, they should do it with their own specially written screenplays for twatty, bum-fuck rug-munching, right-on, snowflakes and quit fucking about with a classic crime author.

What a shower of cunts !

Mrs Pecker was watching some fucking shite on (surprise surprise) the BBC about school kids getting a taste of what education was like through history. Several make-up wearing, gender neutral boys were featured for historical accuracy of course. Had this been true to the times, these poofy little cunts would have been publicly flogged in front of the whole school then sent off for experimental brain surgery to cure them of their limp wristed tendency's. Or shot.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Had this been true to the times, these poofy little cunts would have been publicly flogged in front of the whole school then sent off for experimental brain surgery to cure them of their limp wristed tendency's. Or shot.

Imagine if you were indulging your camper-than-David Bellamy style naturalist ways during the Victorian age.

I can picture you now, mincing around the shores of lake Tanganyika in a rainbow T-shirt, your mutton chops styled and patterned with mini-butterflies.

One can only imagine the great Scot's consternation as you pranced up to him and lisped, "Ooooooooo I say, Doctor Livingstone I presume? Where have you been you naughty boy?!".

[Penny Farthing]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Imagine if you were indulging your camper-than-David Bellamy style naturalist ways during the Victorian age.

I can picture you now, mincing around the shores of lake Tanganyika in a rainbow T-shirt, your mutton chops styled and patterned with mini-butterflies.

One can only imagine the great Scot's consternation as you pranced up to him and lisped, "Ooooooooo I say, Doctor Livingstone I presume? Where have you been you naughty boy?!".

I'm in Lichfield now @Decimus & @Stubby Pecker what do you think of that? 😉 

[Decimus]

59 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

I'm in Lichfield now @Decimus & @Stubby Pecker what do you think of that? 😉 

I think that you and Stubby should agree to meet at Kidderminster services. Then, hand-in-hand, slowly ride your mobility scooters out onto the fast lane of the A449.

[Jiggerycock]

It's depressing.

Watch any drama (BBC or otherwise) and you're pretty much able to deduce the plot and how it will all end up from the first episode, with only a few deaths and sex scenes for beeps and whistles as you meander your way there.

P.S Killing Eve was the biggest pile of shit going. Implausible plot, unbelievable characters, twee dialogue and the denoument (lets call it that for reference purposes) was absolutely stupid, with the sole intention of facilitating a second series of this tawdry shite.

But it had 'strong', ethnically diverse women in lead roles (with just a hint of lesbianism to keep tha sistahood and the perverts happy) and wimpy white blokes a-go go all over the show so that hit's the 'ker-ching' button with commissioning editors.

[Eric Cuntman]

3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Imagine if you were indulging your camper-than-David Bellamy style naturalist ways during the Victorian age.

I can picture you now, mincing around the shores of lake Tanganyika in a rainbow T-shirt, your mutton chops styled and patterned with mini-butterflies.

One can only imagine the great Scot's consternation as you pranced up to him and lisped, "Ooooooooo I say, Doctor Livingstone I presume? Where have you been you naughty boy?!".

David Bellamy, camp? Well that's just about ruined the 70s and 80s for me. No more misty reminiscences of Saturday mornings, enthralled by the secret worlds of pond-scum, lichen and leaf mould. And it turns out all that 'wummaging awound in the undergwowth' was just a preamble to Bellamy engaging in a 3 way bukkake daisy chain with Johnny Morris and Terry Nutkins!

Hopefully, things straightened out a bit when a 'past her sell-by' Michaela Strachan showed up, and gave those TV naturalists a taste of Pete Waterman's sloppy seconds.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Eric Cuntman

[Decimus]

44 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

P.S Killing Eve was the biggest pile of shit going. Implausible plot, unbelievable characters, twee dialogue and the denoument (lets call it that for reference purposes) was absolutely stupid, with the sole intention of facilitating a second series of this tawdry shite.

But it had 'strong', ethnically diverse women in lead roles (with just a hint of lesbianism to keep tha sistahood and the perverts happy) and wimpy white blokes a-go go all over the show so that hit's the 'ker-ching' button with commissioning editors.

This.

I was going to do a whole nomination about it, but I really couldn't be fucked with the usual wits piping up, their sloping brows furrowed whilst screaming at my avatar "Change channel stupid cunt, CHANGE CHANNEL!". Neil, I'm looking at you here, you fat, repetitive cunt.

Reading any review of this Killing Eve shit would lead you to believe that it is a dramatic masterpiece, a perfect balance of intelligent script writing, classical method acting and nuanced allegory. With startling conformity, every critic has recycled stock phrases such as "strong women", " smashing the patriarchy" and "a triumph for feminism and LGBTQ+#dirtyfaggotqueercuntrights." The highest praise seems to be reserved for the so called gender reversal of the series, wherein every male character is shown as an emasculated (some literally), wet, useless fucking sap in awe of the aforementioned"strong women".

The simple truth is, the two main actresses are fucking shit, and they don't even have the redeeming quality of being easy on the eye. The plot is as predictable as the final Scottish premier league table, and the only reason anyone at The Guardian, The BBC, The Huffington Post or The Metro online has creamed over it is because it ticks every single box of a mad, liberal, feminist dykes agenda.

Here's my review. It's fucking shit, don't bother watching it.

 

[Stubby Pecker]

4 hours ago, Decimus said:

Imagine if you were indulging your camper-than-David Bellamy style naturalist ways during the Victorian age.

I can picture you now, mincing around the shores of lake Tanganyika in a rainbow T-shirt, your mutton chops styled and patterned with mini-butterflies.

One can only imagine the great Scot's consternation as you pranced up to him and lisped, "Ooooooooo I say, Doctor Livingstone I presume? Where have you been you naughty boy?!".

You have a shockingly vivid imagination and perhaps some of the ludicrous scenarios you suggest are some kind of twisted, homo fantasy of yours? Even in you wildest dreams the local fer-gals of Tanganyika wouldn't back scuttle a festering blob of lard such as yourself and the crocs surely wouldn't touch you after the darkies had hacked you to death a chucked you in. 

Either way, wind your fucking neck in.

55 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

David Bellamy, camp? Well that's just about ruined the 70s and 80s for me. No more misty reminiscences of Saturday mornings, enthralled by the secret worlds of pond-scum, lichen and leaf mould. And it turns out all that 'wummaging awound in the undergwowth' was just a preamble to Bellamy engaging in a 3 way bukkake daisy chain with Johnny Morris and Terry Nutkins!

Hopefully, things straightened out a bit when a 'past her sell-by' Michaela Strachan showed up, and gave those TV naturalists a taste of Pete Waterman's sloppy seconds.

Your fucking cunt. That's my childhood memories torn to shreds then, much like the imaginary arseholes of the 3 protagonists should a 30 stone silver-back join the fray.

[Jiggerycock]

44 minutes ago, Decimus said:

This.

I was going to do a whole nomination about it, but I really couldn't be fucked with the usual wits piping up, their sloping brows furrowed whilst screaming at my avatar "Change channel stupid cunt, CHANGE CHANNEL!". Neil, I'm looking at you here, you fat, repetitive cunt.

Reading any review of this Killing Eve shit would lead you to believe that it is a dramatic masterpiece, a perfect balance of intelligent script writing, classical method acting and nuanced allegory. With startling conformity, every critic has recycled stock phrases such as "strong women", " smashing the patriarchy" and "a triumph for feminism and LGBTQ+#dirtyfaggotqueercuntrights." The highest praise seems to be reserved for the so called gender reversal of the series, wherein every male character is shown as an emasculated (some literally), wet, useless fucking sap in awe of the aforementioned"strong women".

The simple truth is, the two main actresses are fucking shit, and they don't even have the redeeming quality of being easy on the eye. The plot is as predictable as the final Scottish premier league table, and the only reason anyone at The Guardian, The BBC, The Huffington Post or The Metro online has creamed over it is because it ticks every single box of a mad, liberal, feminist dykes agenda.

Here's my review. It's fucking shit, don't bother watching it.

 

At the risk of this turning into our own little 'menage a deux' (resulting in Punkers going into a Miggs-like death-wank) - right on to every last word!

I thought it was only me doing the whole 'Emperors New Clothes' thing with this nonsense.

Wife and daughter went into paroxysms as the credits rolled on the final episode, so I felt it only right to give them a  (metaphorical) cuff round the lug-holes for being so bloody mauve.

An opportunity to shoot the blonde totty is passed up for a gratuitous  few frames of  (Sandra) Camel T(oh) reclining on the bed (cheeky!). 

The promise of a bit of mutual gusset-typing (based on the premise of, well, fuck all really, but still...here we bloody go, you think.....),  but hey up (spoiler alert) she stabs the blonde totty instead (probably something to do with the inherently sexist nature of penetration in a very real and visceral sense...or something....) only to have a fit of regret - but then the blonde totty, blood spurting from a slashed artery, magically disappears in a cloud of suspended disbelief.

What a pile of molten horseshit!

[camberwell gypsy]

On 12/28/2018 at 5:12 PM, cooze said:

So, I settled down to watch the BBC's version of Hercule Poirot .

Not usually interested in historical drama about bloody foreigners, but it was Malkovich, who can usually put in a decent turn, so I gave it a go.

Imagine my disappointment when I find the BBC had hired a writer to turn Agatha Christie's mystery story into some politically correct, bullshit  propaganda, broadcast, probably to keep the LGBT brigade happy.

If the BBC wants to waste my licence fee spouting that sort of shite, they should do it with their own specially written screenplays for twatty, bum-fuck rug-munching, right-on, snowflakes and quit fucking about with a classic crime author.

What a shower of cunts !

Cooze, my dad nearly kicked the TV screen in when the ad for Admiral insurance came on and the admiral in it was a woman. 

[Cuntybaws]

32 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Cooze, my dad nearly kicked the TV screen in when the ad for Admiral insurance came on and the admiral in it was a woman. 

Whatever marketing cunt came up with that kooky set of "characters" needs to be keelhauled through a mass of necrotic barnacles before being dangled from the yardarm by their genitals while a circling school of tiger sharks work themselves into a feeding frenzy below, waiting for them to fall.

[camberwell gypsy]

5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Whatever marketing cunt came up with that kooky set of "characters" needs to be keelhauled through a mass of necrotic barnacles before being dangled from the yardarm by their genitals while a circling school of tiger sharks work themselves into a feeding frenzy below, waiting for them to fall.

Have you ever considered becoming a Bond villain? You make Zorin seem like postman Pat. 

[Decimus]

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Whatever marketing cunt came up with that kooky set of "characters" needs to be keelhauled through a mass of necrotic barnacles before being dangled from the yardarm by their genitals while a circling school of tiger sharks work themselves into a feeding frenzy below, waiting for them to fall.

You gotta pick a pocket or two Baws, you gotta pick a pocket of two.

[Mrs Roops]

Killing Eve was a ripping good yarn which doesn't pretend to be anything other than a dark comedy. If people must stick their heads up their own arses and over-analyse then I suppose it's a story about obsession. I thought the series was superb - Jodie Comer is especially good as the assassin who may or may not be a psychopath.