Cunts that can't use a bog properly

[Guest Gareth Hunt]

Arrived at Leeds station this morning with 30mins to kill, before a meeting. Decided on quick visit to the station Wetherspoon's, for a piss, then a coffee.

Entered the bog antechamber, with door to bog proper just ahead. Fuck me, the smell. Like Meatloaf's cludgie on Boxing Day. Enter the bog proper and the miasma was palpable and stomach-churning. Ahead, a cubicle door open and the seat, floor and walls spattered with semi-liquid shit. Then, some poor cunt from the bar comes in to do the clean up. No gloves, just bare hands and a rag. Jesus.

Barman spends 60 seconds smearing the shit more with his grubby rag, then gives the rag and his hands a 5 second rinse under the tap and returns to duty. Then, when I head to the bar to get a coffee, the same barman is delivering plates of food to the tables. I'm feeling pleased that I swerved the £3.50 full English and stuck to coffee. Pity the poor saps on the receiving end of plates carried by those hardworking, multitasking hands. The origin of the problem, though, is the dirty, bestial cunt that hasn't learned how to use a shitter properly.

Gareth.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

12 minutes ago, Gareth Hunt said:

Arrived at Leeds station this morning with 30mins to kill, before a meeting. Decided on quick visit to the station Wetherspoon's, for a piss, then a coffee.

Entered the bog antechamber, with door to bog proper just ahead. Fuck me, the smell. Like Meatloaf's cludgie on Boxing Day. Enter the bog proper and the miasma was palpable and stomach-churning. Ahead, a cubicle door open and the seat, floor and walls spattered with semi-liquid shit. Then, some poor cunt from the bar comes in to do the clean up. No gloves, just bare hands and a rag. Jesus.

Barman spends 60 seconds smearing the shit more with his grubby rag, then gives the rag and his hands a 5 second rinse under the tap and returns to duty. Then, when I head to the bar to get a coffee, the same barman is delivering plates of food to the tables. I'm feeling pleased that I swerved the £3.50 full English and stuck to coffee. Pity the poor saps on the receiving end of plates carried by those hardworking, multitasking hands. The origin of the problem, though, is the dirty, bestial cunt that hasn't learned how to use a shitter properly.

Gareth.

Who teaches the class for people to learn this?  Somewhere, some cunt is giving tips on how to act a complete and utter fucking lowlife wanker (very Frank sounding) to even think of this.  

Find these cunts, and dip them slowly into running molten lava!  Their screams of pain and suffering should be the equivalent of the looks of disgust and horror on the faces of us decent civilized society types.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

What a shit nom!

I had to be first to say it.

Fuck you all.

[Roadkill]

Common problem with people suffering certain mental disabilities (spackers), most popular with those suffering autism or ADHD - often a coping mechanism - never pleasant to clean up. I lost any sense of sympathy for the dirty bastards shortly after I was called to clean up my first event at a small cafe that used to operate near where I live. It was a night-shift job that didn't start until the place was closed and they'd had the toilets out of order all day in the middle of summer - so it had plenty of time to ripen. The kicker was at the time I wasn't even supplied with stronger chemicals like bleach - I had Blue Spray for public areas and Red Spray for toilets, basically watered down soap with the antiseptic qualities of dishwater - so I had to buy a bottle of Domestos from the shop across the street, and the cunts at the cleaning company wouldn't even reimburse me because I'd broken their Health & Safety rules by using stronger chemicals - meaning I actually got a fucking warning.

Personally I think if the people with these problems can't control them they should be forcefully colostomised or shot.

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

24 minutes ago, Gareth Hunt said:

Arrived at Leeds station this morning with 30mins to kill, before a meeting. Decided on quick visit to the station Wetherspoon's, for a piss, then a coffee.

Entered the bog antechamber, with door to bog proper just ahead. Fuck me, the smell. Like Meatloaf's cludgie on Boxing Day. Enter the bog proper and the miasma was palpable and stomach-churning. Ahead, a cubicle door open and the seat, floor and walls spattered with semi-liquid shit. Then, some poor cunt from the bar comes in to do the clean up. No gloves, just bare hands and a rag. Jesus.

Barman spends 60 seconds smearing the shit more with his grubby rag, then gives the rag and his hands a 5 second rinse under the tap and returns to duty. Then, when I head to the bar to get a coffee, the same barman is delivering plates of food to the tables. I'm feeling pleased that I swerved the £3.50 full English and stuck to coffee. Pity the poor saps on the receiving end of plates carried by those hardworking, multitasking hands. The origin of the problem, though, is the dirty, bestial cunt that hasn't learned how to use a shitter properly.

Gareth.

What a load of rubbish, the nearest you've been to Leeds is watching "Final Score".

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

19 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Common problem with people suffering certain mental disabilities (spackers), most popular with those suffering autism or ADHD - often a coping mechanism - never pleasant to clean up. I lost any sense of sympathy for the dirty bastards shortly after I was called to clean up my first event at a small cafe that used to operate near where I live. It was a night-shift job that didn't start until the place was closed and they'd had the toilets out of order all day in the middle of summer - so it had plenty of time to ripen. The kicker was at the time I wasn't even supplied with stronger chemicals like bleach - I had Blue Spray for public areas and Red Spray for toilets, basically watered down soap with the antiseptic qualities of dishwater - so I had to buy a bottle of Domestos from the shop across the street, and the cunts at the cleaning company wouldn't even reimburse me because I'd broken their Health & Safety rules by using stronger chemicals - meaning I actually got a fucking warning.

Personally I think if the people with these problems can't control them they should be forcefully colostomised or shot.

That option is too expensive, and shooting them is too quick.  Something slow and excruciatingly painful would be nice....perhaps being forced to read all of Albert and Pen's posts just before being shoved into an array of rotating knives.  

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said:

That option is too expensive, and shooting them is too quick.  Something slow and excruciatingly painful would be nice....perhaps being forced to read all of Albert and Pen's posts just before being shoved into an array of rotating knives.  

Wanker, dreamer, etc.

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said:

That option is too expensive, and shooting them is too quick.  Something slow and excruciatingly painful would be nice....perhaps being forced to read all of Albert and Pen's posts just before being shoved into an array of rotating knives.  

Maybe streamline the whole process by having that squeaky voiced cunt Keith Lemon read them out over loudspeaker as they're getting minced for added misery.

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Maybe streamline the whole process by having that squeaky voiced cunt Keith Lemon read them out over loudspeaker as they're getting minced for added misery.

Get a real life, stop hiding.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Earl Albert of Ross said:

Get a real life, stop hiding.

Tell me where you live then - I'll come visit.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

3 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Maybe streamline the whole process by having that squeaky voiced cunt Keith Lemon read them out over loudspeaker as they're getting minced for added misery.

I think the Geneva Convention prohibits that.  They're fine with burning nerve gasses and rotating knives, but the mongy voices are out of order immoral.  

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Tell me where you live then - I'll come visit.

SS1 2NF

Come and get me, please.

[Eric Cuntman]

9 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross said:

SS1 2NF

Come and get me, please.

Southend council flat.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Southend council flat.

Also better known as festering cesspit of disease pustules and bowel incontinence.  

[Roadkill]

Just now, Wizardsleeve said:

Also better known as festering cesspit of disease pustules and bowel incontinence.  

And thus we find ourselves placed elegantly back to the main topic of the nom. Nice work, Wiz.

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

Come on, you lot, find me.

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Southend council flat.

Bedsit actually, much more up market than your bus shelter.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

And thus we find ourselves placed elegantly back to the main topic of the nom. Nice work, Wiz.

I have my moments, Roadie!  

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

Just now, Wizardsleeve said:

I have my moments, Roadie!  

When?

Please elaborate.

[camberwell gypsy]

25 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross said:

Come on, you lot, find me.

Supported Housing. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Supported Housing. 

Grenfell Tower?  

[Eric Cuntman]

10 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Grenfell Tower?  

Allah's toast-rack.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

32 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Allah's toast-rack.

I have often pondered whether the cunts who enjoyed bacon sarnies made the final leg of the journey?  

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said:

I have often pondered whether the cunts who enjoyed bacon sarnies made the final leg of the journey?  

It's the one thing that's truly led me to distrust Islamists Wiz. I can live with the hate preaching, stabbings, vehicular homicides and suicide bombings... but there is something fundamentally fucking wrong with people who don't eat bacon sandwiches or jumbo sausage sticks with fried onions and brown sauce. 

The sick fucking cunts. I want them all dead.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It's the one thing that's truly led me to distrust Islamists Wiz. I can live with the hate preaching, stabbings, vehicular homicides and suicide bombings... but there is something fundamentally fucking wrong with people who don't eat bacon sandwiches or jumbo sausage sticks with fried onions and brown sauce. 

The sick fucking cunts. I want them all dead.

May their blood spray in fountains for their crossing the boundaries of good taste.  An unprovoked attack of linguisting stupidity, but it needed saying.