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Decimus

Fucking Trains

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I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

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7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

You've composed this meandering, 'Bhowani Junction' claptrap, in order to get likes from Pen, haven't you? 

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Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

You've composed this meandering, 'Bhowani Junction' claptrap, in order to get likes from Pen, haven't you? 

I don't know what Bhowani Junction is, but for some reason it made me laugh.

I'm looking forward to Pen's inevitable dross.

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Just now, Decimus said:

I don't know what Bhowani Junction is, but for some reason it made me laugh.

I'm looking forward to Pen's inevitable dross.

It could bring Albert out of hiding too. If the cunt emoji suddenly starts appearing all over the place, we will know that his carer has managed to glue another touchscreen wand onto his deformed forehead with spunk.

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57 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

You haven't mentioned: cunt who spends the entire journey shouting down the phone, the cunt who sits in the middle of the seat, legs apart, daring some cunt to say "can I sit here?" The cunt wearing a huge "fuck off" back pack, the cunt who stands thee with his bollocks 5 inches from your face.

The last time I was on a train some loud window licker got on and went down the length of the train shouting "Not mind the gap but mind the gaps eh? Eh? Not mind the gap but mind the gaps eh? Eh?". 

Casey Jones was a cunt 

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43 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You haven't mentioned: cunt who spends the entire journey shouting down the phone, the cunt who sits in the middle of the seat, legs apart, daring some cunt to say "can I sit here?" The cunt wearing a huge "fuck off" back pack, the cunt who stands thee with his bollocks 5 inches from your face.

The last time I was on a train some loud window licker got on and went down the length of the train shouting "Not mind the gap but mind the gaps eh? Eh? Not mind the gap but mind the gaps eh? Eh?". 

Casey Jones was a cunt 

You've actually encountered Punky, then?  Surprising he tried that with a woman.  

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I don't know what Bhowani Junction is, but for some reason it made me laugh.

I'm looking forward to Pen's inevitable dross.

Weekday Cross Junction.

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

Norfolk is a fucking cesspit .. what do you fucking expect?

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I don't know what Bhowani Junction is, but for some reason it made me laugh.

I'm looking forward to Pen's inevitable dross.

You asked for it, it's started.  thus far two posts nobody can be bothered to entertain.  

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Just now, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

Norfolk is a fucking cesspit .. what do you fucking expect?

Rattled.

The railway system is fucked nationwide, in fact, shit as Greater Anglia is, it's one of the better franchises. Look at the shambles of Southern Rail for example.

Your successors should all be made redundant, and rail travel should be eradicated and consigned to the history books. 

It's not fit for purpose.

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3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Rattled.

The railway system is fucked nationwide, in fact, shit as Greater Anglia is, it's one of the better franchises. Look at the shambles of Southern Rail for example.

Your successors should all be made redundant, and rail travel should be eradicated and consigned to the history books. 

It's not fit for purpose.

here is what you deserve .. Leyland Bus's finest. Fit for the London to Norwich service and all you deserve.

1024px-153370_Stabled_At_Plymouth._18.03

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

The fucking train is fucking late
You fucking wait you fucking wait
You’re fucking lost and fucking found
Stuck in fucking Chickentown

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9 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

here is what you deserve .. Leyland Bus's finest. Fit for the London to Norwich service and all you deserve.

1024px-153370_Stabled_At_Plymouth._18.03

The franchises could probably lower the ticket prices by getting rid of a multitude of unskilled workers, cunts like yourself who spend a lifetime getting paid money for a job that a chimpazee could do.

Apparently, conductors for most franchises are paid between 21 and 25k a year. With full station automation and barriers, I hardly think it's necessary to pay some social outcast incapable of getting a real job anything more than minimum wage. Thankfully, they won't even get that, as regardless of strike actions, they'll all soon join you on the scrap heap.

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1 minute ago, Decimus said:

The franchises could probably lower the ticket prices by getting rid of a multitude of unskilled workers, cunts like yourself who spend a lifetime getting paid money for a job that a chimpazee could do.

Apparently, conductors for most franchises are paid between 21 and 25k a year. With full station automation and barriers, I hardly think it's necessary to pay some social outcast incapable of getting a real job anything more than minimum wage. Thankfully, they won't even get that, as regardless of strike actions, they'll all soon join you on the scrap heap.

You're rattled tonight Decs .. has Tim put you in your place?

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21 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Rattled.

The railway system is fucked nationwide, in fact, shit as Greater Anglia is, it's one of the better franchises. Look at the shambles of Southern Rail for example.

Your successors should all be made redundant, and rail travel should be eradicated and consigned to the history books. 

It's not fit for purpose.

There's a lot of Poles at my gym Deco, and the backs of their heads are squared off. 

Like a bear's head. 

This ursine similarity extends to their language skills, as none of the cunts speak English.

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34 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Rattled.

The railway system is fucked nationwide, in fact, shit as Greater Anglia is, it's one of the better franchises. Look at the shambles of Southern Rail for example.

Your successors should all be made redundant, and rail travel should be eradicated and consigned to the history books. 

It's not fit for purpose.

I bet that you've applied to a job as a conductor and failed the aptitude test.

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6 minutes ago, ratcum said:

There's a lot of Poles at my gym Deco, and the backs of their heads are squared off. 

Like a bear's head. 

This ursine similarity extends to their language skills, as none of the cunts speak English.

Trains have had a few uses in history, I'll give you that. One way tickets from Berlin to Auschwitz spring to mind.

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4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Trains have had a few uses in history, I'll give you that. One way tickets from Berlin to Auschwitzs spring to mind.

If they didn't waste money on HS2 they could put it where its needed in the whole UK network, but there is a lot of chicanery with HS2.

Fuck trains I want my flying car that 1979 bbc tomorrow's world said we would have by now.

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2 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Trains have had a few uses in history, I'll give you that. One way tickets from Berlin to Auschwitz spring to mind.

I've just realised this thread is about trains!

You boring fucker

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Just now, Alfie Noakes said:

 

Fuck trains I want my flying car that 1979 tomorrow's world said we would have by now.

I had  flying car back in 1983 .. it flew through some iron railings.

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1 minute ago, ratcum said:

I've just realised this thread is about trains!

You boring fucker

He's a fucking trainspotter what do you expect?

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1 minute ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

He's a fucking trainspotter what do you expect?

get your norks out you dirty flapper

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2 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

I had  flying car back in 1983 .. it flew through some iron railings.

I had a Yamaha that did that too, hence the dribbling spacktard that I am, thought I should get that in before the usual suspects chime in.

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7 minutes ago, ratcum said:

get your norks out you dirty flapper

I can understand him being so bitter after been turned down for the train cleaning job.

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3 minutes ago, The Bishop of Phlegm said:

I can understand him being so bitter after been turned down for the train cleaning job.

To be fair, I predicted that you would end up incensed.

Your replies clearly indicate that you are rattled as fuck over the justified cunting dished out to an industry which paid and continues to pay wages above and beyond the skillset of its employees.

Count yourself lucky that you managed to milk a paltry 20k a year from the system purely because you could push a button on a ticket machine, your successors will have to make do with retraining to become shelf stackers.

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