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Fucking Trains


Decimus

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3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

To be fair, I predicted that you would end up incensed.

Your replies clearly indicate that you are rattled as fuck over the justified cunting dished out to an industry which paid and continues to pay wages above and beyond the skillset of its employees.

Count yourself lucky that you managed to milk a paltry 20k a year from the system purely because you could push a button on a ticket machine, your successors will have to make do with retraining to become shelf stackers.

Amused .. not rattled.

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37 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

If they didn't waste money on HS2 they could put it where its needed in the whole UK network, but there is a lot of chicanery with HS2.

Fuck trains I want my flying car that 1979 bbc tomorrow's world said we would have by now.

And the silver foil jumpsuits, and the full roast dinner in a little pill. 

It's clear that Maggie Philbin and that noncey looking cunt in beige trousers were lying, and that woggle eyed bitch Judith Hann.

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4 hours ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

People like you should be made travel 3rd class even if you have the wherewithal to pay for a more comfortable passage.

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11 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

even if you have the wherewithal to pay for a more comfortable passage.

I doubt that you have the wherewithal to pay for a "more comfortable passage". I imagine that the passages you frequent on your minimum pink pound wage are warty and as rough as an electric sander.

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16 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

People like you should be made travel 3rd class even if you have the wherewithal to pay for a more comfortable passage.

Whereas people like you should be made to travel in a closed cattle truck.

To Poland.

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Guest 'eavensabove
4 hours ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

Delays, were never heard of on the Auschwitz Express, and lost luggage was simply utilised rather than being claimed for without a hope in hell of getting your brolly back. 

Train travel used be an enjoyable experience. Sure, the poxy things have never run on time, but at least one could have a compartment to oneself, draw the curtains, take a shit,  and get from Waterloo to Dover, hop the ferry for your Duty Freebies and back again for a the price of Platform ticket, without some half-bit 'Ticket Inspector' giving you the third degree for not having a valid Return...  The railway network isn't the problem. There's more than enough track for choo-choos to frequent, but the trains themselves are no more than a tinplate trailer with doors that cant be opened unless the pissed-up dork of a driver opens the fuckers. I say 'Drivers' but they hardly dive, do they, and what happened to the whistle and the cunt with a flag wearing a cap? They've even taken away the net luggage racks, come hammocks, upon which one could get a kip or hide... Bring back steam, allow folks to smoke, and the trains will be reborn again.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
54 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

People like you should be made travel 3rd class even if you have the wherewithal to pay for a more comfortable passage.

What would you know about comfortable passages?  The only passages you are even remotely acquainted with are part of your Cambodian rent boy's arse(s).

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Guest 'eavensabove
4 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

What would you know about comfortable passages?  The only passages you are even remotely acquainted with are part of your Cambodian rent boy's arse(s).

I'd wager that he took a ride on The Flying Scotsman. 

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13 hours ago, Decimus said:

I haven't had a car all week, so I have had the misfortune to travel to work via the pitiful British Railway Network.

First off, it is absolutely fucking disgusting that the cost of a ticket to travel a mere 20 miles comes to £11.00. I wouldn't mind paying this if I was ferried all the way to Norwich on an Orient Express style locomotive with silver service. Instead, I have found myself travelling on the same model of train that I used to catch to Norwich games in 1997. They've obviously lost a few carriages since then though, as every service has been formed of one shit tin. One freezing cold fucking carriage, with no heating, seats covered in chewing gum, and standing room only for any cunt unlucky enough to join the journey beyond the second stop.

Not content with bleeding people fucking dry only to squash them inside Norfolk's answer to the Black Hole of Calcutta, 70% of my journeys have encountered significant delays due to "A late departing train on the branch line". As most of the local network is single track, any issue at either end results in having to sit freezing to death in Lingwood whilst awaiting an incoming rust bucket from fuck knows where.

The British Railway network is unfit for purpose. Tracks should be ripped up, profiteering franchises liquidised, and any cunt who disagrees shot.

Plus ca change.

Heres an earlier thought on this subject from one of my former colleagues:

 

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
20 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It could bring Albert out of hiding too. If the cunt emoji suddenly starts appearing all over the place, we will know that his carer has managed to glue another touchscreen wand onto his deformed forehead with spunk.

I don't hide, unlike so many on here.

You're the one who hides (behind a screen and other places).

Come on, come and get me, you insipid piece of dog shit!

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Guest Alfie Noakes
33 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Two posts into this campaign and it's already looking like a meltdown.

superb.

I see you have already lit the blue touch paper.

This should be good.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/11/2019 at 10:32 PM, Decimus said:

I doubt that you have the wherewithal to pay for a "more comfortable passage". I imagine that the passages you frequent on your minimum pink pound wage are warty and as rough as an electric sander.

Here is the job for you Decs

https://apply.abellio.com/vacancies/4571/trainee_senior_conductor_crewe/?d=5

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6 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

No wonder train prices are so high when they're paying some fucking monkey 31k a year to stamp a bit of paper.

I remember the recent strikes when they were protesting about conductors being phased out, and the feeling of pleasure I derived when giving them both fingers as I drove past Norwich railway station.

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45 minutes ago, Decimus said:

No wonder train prices are so high when they're paying some fucking monkey 31k a year to stamp a bit of paper.

I remember the recent strikes when they were protesting about conductors being phased out, and the feeling of pleasure I derived when giving them both fingers as I drove past Norwich railway station.

Get on board Decs .. "ALL TICKETS & PASSES PLEASE!". £47k as a driver!!

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15 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

£47k to drive one of these @Decimus .. why work for a living?

1024px-153370_Stabled_At_Plymouth._18.03

I kid you not, the majority of Greater Anglia's branch line stock consists of these monstrosities.

They were old and fucking shit when I used to get on one to school in Acle during the 90's, twenty years later and the cunts are still hurtling around Norfolk at 20mph. 

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