Jump to content
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....
Crab

Juan Guaidó

Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I've never seen it. But I've always been sceptical regarding reports that it resembles an axe wound in an orangutan's back.

More of a silverbacks back these days I'd wager. Collars and cuffs

  • Like 1
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

PRESIDENTIAL PRESS RELEASE #2

Hi my loyal followers! Those fucking arseholes in Russia, China and India have decided to back my opponent, but have they got the balls and greenback bribes to make it happen? They can twist and plot against me but they will never overturn the democratic will of the Venezuelan people as expressed by the CIA and our oily friends in Washington, London and Europe. 

PS   King Billy had a good knees up despite receiving hospital treatment after a bit of flying masonary caught him in the mush. He carries our best wishes (and an American timed explosive device) in the air ambulance as he flies back to his travellers camp off the coast of Europe called jokingly round the world as "Great" Britain. Hand on heart. 

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

PRESS RELEASE #3

I President Juan have been personally welcomed into the gang of fresh faced good looking cunts playing at politics by Canada's leading man as reported below in the South Wales Argus. 

"Justin Trudeau has personally offered his support to Venezuela’s Juan Guaido ahead of a Lima Group meeting in Ottawa on the country’s political crisis. "

I wouldn't swap dear little Justin for all the Putins in the world. (Yes I would but he is on the side of my beast) 

Meanwhile my fellow Venezuelans keep crawling to the Colombian border for my food parcels and fists up everyone! Eh, I don't mean that. 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Press Release #4

A thousand apologies for the slight delay. I am speaking from my Miami Mafiosa luxury beachside penthouse on behalf of my great friend and anti-castro comrade Juan Guaidó. Goid luck mate. I know it's hard work and you're losing. But keep opening and shutting your mouth and making those not silly hand gestures and Uncle Sam will pension you off with a golden handshake. 

PS Richard Branson is a fan of yours. He's looking for a guinea p.... eh, test pilot for his next space launch so stand by for the call! 

Sincerely in your face

Franklin Virgüez

 

_20190220_141542.JPG

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/02/2019 at 14:35, Crab said:

PRESS RELEASE #3

I President Juan have been personally welcomed into the gang of fresh faced good looking cunts playing at politics by Canada's leading man as reported below in the South Wales Argus. 

"Justin Trudeau has personally offered his support to Venezuela’s Juan Guaido ahead of a Lima Group meeting in Ottawa on the country’s political crisis. "

I wouldn't swap dear little Justin for all the Putins in the world. (Yes I would but he is on the side of my beast) 

Meanwhile my fellow Venezuelans keep crawling to the Colombian border for my food parcels and fists up everyone! Eh, I don't mean that. 

 

 

 

Dear Juan  If you need any snow rest assured you can have as much as you want at a very favourable price. Always your amigo  Justin baby

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/02/2019 at 14:35, Crab said:

PRESS RELEASE #3

I President Juan have been personally welcomed into the gang of fresh faced good looking cunts playing at politics by Canada's leading man as reported below in the South Wales Argus. 

"Justin Trudeau has personally offered his support to Venezuela’s Juan Guaido ahead of a Lima Group meeting in Ottawa on the country’s political crisis. "

I wouldn't swap dear little Justin for all the Putins in the world. (Yes I would but he is on the side of my beast) 

Meanwhile my fellow Venezuelans keep crawling to the Colombian border for my food parcels and fists up everyone! Eh, I don't mean that. 

 

 

 

Fuck me theyve got an Argos in Wales now. Wow

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Fuck me theyve got an Argos in Wales now. Wow

Tune into my latest with the totally up front Franklin Virgüez. He was in Goodfellas wasn't he? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 20/02/2019 at 15:07, King Billy said:

Fuck me theyve got an Argos in Wales now. Wow

Pronounced "Arghhhhhhhhhhos". You can't miss it. It has phlegm all down the window

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Pronounced "Arghhhhhhhhhhos". You can't miss it. It has phlegm all down the window

Juan heard that! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 20/02/2019 at 15:05, King Billy said:

Dear Juan  If you need any snow rest assured you can have as much as you want at a very favourable price. Always your amigo  Justin baby

#Snow Patrol is Juan's favourite band. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

# Press Release 5

His Excellency President Juan. 

My fellow Venezuelans I hope you enjoyed my mash up at the border today. Those food parcels from the Land of Opportunity and Economic Sanctions courtesy of Washington moved me to tears. When it all kicked off it made me move to a place where I was able to watch the mayhem from a safe distance with my gold plated Gucci binoculars. As a bonus there were some nice views of Richard Branson's air stewardess entourage. They gave me the two fingered salute like this one modelling my new line in Venezuelan Patriot Swimwear. Hope you enjoy. I did! I'm sending her round to King Billy as my diplomatic envoy extraordinary. 

20190223_220154.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Crab said:

# Press Release 5

His Excellency President Juan. 

My fellow Venezuelans I hope you enjoyed my mash up at the border today. Those food parcels from the Land of Opportunity and Economic Sanctions courtesy of Washington moved me to tears. When it all kicked off it made me move to a place where I was able to watch the mayhem from a safe distance with my gold plated Gucci binoculars. As a bonus there were some nice views of Richard Branson's air stewardess entourage. They gave me the two fingered salute like this one modelling my new line in Venezuelan Patriot Swimwear. Hope you enjoy. I did! I'm sending her round to King Billy as my diplomatic envoy extraordinary. 

20190223_220154.jpg

 

On 20/02/2019 at 15:21, King Billy said:

Are you Susie Dent?

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Crab said:

# Press Release 5

His Excellency President Juan. 

My fellow Venezuelans I hope you enjoyed my mash up at the border today. Those food parcels from the Land of Opportunity and Economic Sanctions courtesy of Washington moved me to tears. When it all kicked off it made me move to a place where I was able to watch the mayhem from a safe distance with my gold plated Gucci binoculars. As a bonus there were some nice views of Richard Branson's air stewardess entourage. They gave me the two fingered salute like this one modelling my new line in Venezuelan Patriot Swimwear. Hope you enjoy. I did! I'm sending her round to King Billy as my diplomatic envoy extraordinary. 

20190223_220154.jpg

She’s definitely coming round isn’t she? I’ve just eaten 3 Viagra (100 mg) so I’m gonna be in trouble if this a wind up. Well someone’s gonna be in trouble if I have to go out on the prowl. Helloooo young lady. Don’t worry Billy won’t hurt you😝

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, King Billy said:

She’s definitely coming round isn’t she? I’ve just eaten 3 Viagra (100 mg) so I’m gonna be in trouble if this a wind up. Well someone’s gonna be in trouble if I have to go out on the prowl. Helloooo young lady. Don’t worry Billy won’t hurt you😝

Save some for the rest of Colombia where I'm currently holed up. LOL Juano Baby. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Crab said:

Save some for the rest of Colombia where I'm currently holed up. LOL Juano Baby. 

While your there mate can you grab me a farmers ?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...