Last Cunt Standing Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 The intellectual titans at ITV continue to redefine barrel-scraping shite with their latest Saturday night attempt at a game show. For the unindoctrinated, shaven headed oirish cheeky chappy twat Dermot fucks about with models, and sadly not the Lucy Pinder variety. Various groups of pub bores in entry shield specs then pontificate about how hard to flick a marble, with multiple practice attempts to pad the 60 minute run time. Lingering shots of nicotine-stained index fingers and tattooed callosities abound as these imbeciles hover over a tiny replica newspaper which needs flicking three inches for 50 grand. What the fuck the producers were smoking I don’t know, but I imagine they were reading Jonathan Swift. I’m already looking forward to next weeks tombola round, followed by a nerve biting guess the weight of the cake. I realise it’s all bread and circuses for the legions of flat-roofed pub inhabitants, but Jesus fucking Christ this is awful. Magnus Magnusson must be spinning in his burning longship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 8 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: The intellectual titans at ITV continue to redefine barrel-scraping shite with their latest Saturday night attempt at a game show. For the unindoctrinated, shaven headed oirish cheeky chappy twat Dermot fucks about with models, and sadly not the Lucy Pinder variety. Various groups of pub bores then pontificate about how hard to flick a marble, with multiple practice attempts to pad the 60 minute run time. What the fuck the producers were smoking I don’t know. I’m already looking forward to next weeks tombola round, followed by a nerve biting guess the weight of the cake. I realise it’s all bread and circuses for the legions of flat-roofed pub inhabitants, but Jesus fucking Christ this is awful. Magnus Magnusson must be spinning in his burning longship. How on earth do you find out about this kind of shit, unless you habitually watch ITV? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted February 10, 2019 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 5 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: How on earth do you find out about this kind of shit, unless you habitually watch ITV? Visiting the lower branches of the family tree on a farewell tour I’m afraid. Never been more glad to be out of here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 52 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Visiting the lower branches of the family tree on a farewell tour I’m afraid. Never been more glad to be out of here. Where are you going? Switzerland for a final treatment I hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 \i was more hoping that LCS was moving to some place where his death will be long, painful and without hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Visiting the lower branches of the family tree on a farewell tour I’m afraid. Never been more glad to be out of here. Why are you afraid .. are the bums and local drug dealers chasing after you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I realise it’s all bread and circuses for the legions of flat-roofed pub inhabitants, but Jesus fucking Christ this is awful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted February 10, 2019 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 2 hours ago, The Bishop said: Why are you afraid .. are the bums and local drug dealers chasing after you? 2 hours ago, The Bishop said: \i was more hoping that LCS was moving to some place where his death will be long, painful and without hope. 2 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Where are you going? Switzerland for a final treatment I hope. Thanks Gents, your warm words drip with the milk of human kindness and are most appreciated. Get fucked. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted February 10, 2019 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 13 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: David Mitchell is just this side of acceptable to me, though every time I see him pop up on that Call My Bluff rip off, I do wonder whether Victoria Coren Mitchell realises she married a man one tenth as funny as her father. Right before she pegs him mercilessly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 You can get a small fortune by starting off with a large fortune at Redcar or Ascot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 9 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: The intellectual titans at ITV continue to redefine barrel-scraping shite with their latest Saturday night attempt at a game show. For the unindoctrinated, shaven headed oirish cheeky chappy twat Dermot fucks about with models, and sadly not the Lucy Pinder variety. Various groups of pub bores in entry shield specs then pontificate about how hard to flick a marble, with multiple practice attempts to pad the 60 minute run time. Lingering shots of nicotine-stained index fingers and tattooed callosities abound as these imbeciles hover over a tiny replica newspaper which needs flicking three inches for 50 grand. What the fuck the producers were smoking I don’t know, but I imagine they were reading Jonathan Swift. I’m already looking forward to next weeks tombola round, followed by a nerve biting guess the weight of the cake. I realise it’s all bread and circuses for the legions of flat-roofed pub inhabitants, but Jesus fucking Christ this is awful. Magnus Magnusson must be spinning in his burning longship. The dreaded oh so smooth Dermot is enough to make you throw up. So he finally was allowed out of the X Factor cage to go it alone. Ha ha ha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 11 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: How on earth do you find out about this kind of shit, unless you habitually watch ITV? He watches it so we don't have to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: He watches it so we don't have to Have You, ever had a windfuall? You know, a small fortune? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 11, 2019 Report Share Posted February 11, 2019 Dermot O'Leary, a Poundshop Terry Wogan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 11, 2019 Report Share Posted February 11, 2019 32 minutes ago, cooze said: Dermot O'Leary, a Poundshop Terry Wogan! I wish they'd get the fat legged cunt a suit that fits, his thighs look like 2 ham hocks forced into a Tubigrip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crab Posted February 11, 2019 Report Share Posted February 11, 2019 1 hour ago, cooze said: Dermot O'Leary, a Poundshop Terry Wogan! 1 hour ago, cooze said: Dermot O'Leary, a Poundshop Terry Wogan! That's where you got your cheap looking pouch. 99p. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 11, 2019 Report Share Posted February 11, 2019 1 hour ago, cooze said: Dermot O'Leary, a Poundshop Terry Wogan! At least he's less hitable than that chinstrap bearded Ryland cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 11, 2019 Report Share Posted February 11, 2019 22 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Have You, ever had a windfuall? You know, a small fortune? She can't sell what she nicks at full retail price, Eavens. Combine her inability to price stolen goods properly at a boot sale and the empty liquor bottles in foot space of the back seat, and it becomes clear, she will always live in poverty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 12, 2019 Report Share Posted February 12, 2019 (edited) 21 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: She can't sell what she nicks at full retail price, Eavens. Combine her inability to price stolen goods properly at a boot sale and the empty liquor bottles in foot space of the back seat, and it becomes clear, she will always live in poverty. A 'windfall' to most pikey's is a bruised apple, nicked from some cunt's orchard. They can't even be arsed to go scrumping. I'd wager that our Gyp's can knock-up a fair Strudel or a Tart tatty Tan, with a brace of cox pippin. Edited February 12, 2019 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 6 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: A 'windfall' to most pikey's is a bruised apple, nicked from some cunt's orchard. They can't even be arsed to go scrumping. I'd wager that our Gyp's can knock-up a fair Strudel or a Tart tatty Tan, with a brace of cox pippin. I see by the time your post was written, you're still on the naughty step. No matter, no less truth to what you say. On a somewhat related side note, I still want to watch Pen die a slow, excruciating, violent death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 6 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: A 'windfall' to most pikey's is a bruised apple, nicked from some cunt's orchard. They can't even be arsed to go scrumping. I'd wager that our Gyp's can knock-up a fair Strudel or a Tart tatty Tan, with a brace of cox pippin. I can knock up a Gypsy Tart. Mind you Neil's probably knocked a few up himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I can knock up a Gypsy Tart. Mind you Neil's probably knocked a few up himself. A lovely way to talk about your beloved husband. Make sure he puts your coin collection back on top of the wardrobe before he forces himself on you tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 12 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: I see by the time your post was written, you're still on the naughty step. No matter, no less truth to what you say. On a somewhat related side note, I still want to watch Pen die a slow, excruciating, violent death. Did you watch last nights New Year's fireworks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 On 11/02/2019 at 19:43, camberwell gypsy said: At least he's less hitable than that chinstrap bearded Ryland cunt. Oh, I see, you want to suck his cock? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 On 11/02/2019 at 19:25, Crab said: That's where you got your cheap looking pouch. 99p. Victoria's Secret, she kept it secret so cunts like you wouldn't come sniffing around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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