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Decimus

Martin Lewis

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I absolutely fucking detest this little Louis Spence looking cunt. 

You can't browse an online news feed, open the paper, or turn on the telly in the morning without this parsimonious prick lisping on about his latest money saving scheme. I dread to think about the amount of business hours lost due to old cunts and idiots ringing and emailing insurance companies, councils, energy firms etc after this little Bonaparte runt has spent the morning screaming at them from Lorraine Kelly's couch to "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!"

Any penny-pinching wanker, who at this cunt's behest, spends five hours on the phone to "Dave" in Mumbai to move onto an energy tariff that's two pence a week cheaper, deserves to be sent back in time to .......

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On 10/02/2019 at 09:48, Decimus said:

I absolutely fucking detest this little Louis Spence looking cunt. 

You can't browse an online news feed, open the paper, or turn on the telly in the morning without this parsimonious prick lisping on about his latest money saving scheme. I dread to think about the amount of business hours lost due to old cunts and idiots ringing and emailing insurance companies, councils, energy firms etc after this little Bonaparte runt has spent the morning screaming at them from Lorraine Kelly's couch to "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!"

Any penny-pinching wanker, who at this cunt's behest, spends five hours on the phone to "Dave" in Mumbai to move onto an energy tariff that's two pence a week cheaper, deserves to be sent back in time to .....

 

Hangover?

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On 10/02/2019 at 09:48, Decimus said:

I absolutely fucking detest this little Louis Spence looking cunt. 

You can't browse an online news feed, open the paper, or turn on the telly in the morning without this parsimonious prick lisping on about his latest money saving scheme. I dread to think about the amount of business hours lost due to old cunts and idiots ringing and emailing insurance companies, councils, energy firms etc after this little Bonaparte runt has spent the morning screaming at them from Lorraine Kelly's couch to "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!"

Any penny-pinching wanker, who at this cunt's behest, spends five hours on the phone to "Dave" in Mumbai to move onto an energy tariff that's two pence a week cheaper, deserves to be sent back in time to .....

 

Are you sure that you still like him?

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On 10/02/2019 at 09:48, Decimus said:

I absolutely fucking detest this little Louis Spence looking cunt. 

You can't browse an online news feed, open the paper, or turn on the telly in the morning without this parsimonious prick lisping on about his latest money saving scheme. I dread to think about the amount of business hours lost due to old cunts and idiots ringing and emailing insurance companies, councils, energy firms etc after this little Bonaparte runt has spent the morning screaming at them from Lorraine Kelly's couch to "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!"

Any penny-pinching wanker, who at this cunt's behest, spends five hours on the phone to "Dave" in Mumbai to move onto an energy tariff that's two pence a week cheaper, deserves to be sent back in time to ..........

 

He is poorly this week with a throat ulcer, about which you can draw your own conclusions. 

The chiselling cunt typifies a certain type of obsessive, only too pleased to tell you their packed lunch cost eight pence and anyone who buys a sandwich at M&S is a profligate wanker who deserves to grovel for table scraps one day. It’s a weird mix of financial ambulance chasing, virtue signalling and one upmanship, and it stinks. Thankfully my days of worrying about whether my coffee is cheaper elsewhere are long behind me. 

What never features in his interminable spreadsheets, is time, which is a far more precious commodity than pound notes. Yes I might chip a fiver off my Sky package if I spend an hour on the phone to some call centre drone, but I can think of a couple of dozen better ways to spend my time. That so many cannot is quite sad. 

His act is not new. Watchdog, That’s Life, and Working Lunch all thrived on saving misers tuppence. 

Not that Lewis needs to follow his own tips, given he banked £80m from selling his website years ago. He should invest in some Kevlar. I remember reading some Banker reckoned his zealous drum banging for the PPI claims industry had cost the big four £10 Billion. I’d stay out of Paris Underpasses, you chippy little prick. 

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I'm sure this is repeat bollocks but regardless he is a grade 1 uber cunt.Id like to save his funeral parlour the cost of seeing the cunt off and throw the prick off the shard

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34 minutes ago, Neil said:

I'm sure this is repeat bollocks 

I made a half-arsed attempt to negotiate the Byzantine fucking mess that is Proper's dog shit search function, but came to two conclusions:

1) Lacking the turbo, Asperger's fuelled obsession and determination of Bawsey, I decided to wait for him to inevitably do the job for me.

2) I hate this cunt enough to not care if he's been done before.

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29 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I made a half-arsed attempt to negotiate the Byzantine fucking mess that is Proper's dog shit search function, but came to two conclusions:

1) Lacking the turbo, Asperger's fuelled obsession and determination of Bawsey, I decided to wait for him to inevitably do the job for me.

2) I hate this cunt enough to not care if he's been done before.

Its not rocket science; using the advanced search facility, type "Lewis" and tick the "titles only" filter button.

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29 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I made a half-arsed attempt to negotiate the Byzantine fucking mess that is Proper's dog shit search function, but came to two conclusions:

1) Lacking the turbo, Asperger's fuelled obsession and determination of Bawsey, I decided to wait for him to inevitably do the job for me.

2) I hate this cunt enough to not care if he's been done before.

WARNING: may contain traces of Ding.

 

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37 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Its not rocket science; using the advanced search facility, type "Lewis" and tick the "titles only" filter button.

Cheers, I'd not thought of this.

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Having run out of washing detergent recently,  I was idly googling as to whether or not I could use shower gel in the machine instead of getting out of my pit and down to the shops. This took me to a money saving cuntspert page about homemade washing soap, involving boiling up scraps of old soap, adding soda, reducing the congealed mess to shavings and thereby saving oneself nearly thruppence a month. This advice ran to several pages. 

Martin Lewis is indeed a cunt. 

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On 10/02/2019 at 09:48, Decimus said:

I absolutely fucking detest this little Louis Spence looking cunt. 

You can't browse an online news feed, open the paper, or turn on the telly in the morning without this parsimonious prick lisping on about his latest money saving scheme. I dread to think about the amount of business hours lost due to old cunts and idiots ringing and emailing insurance companies, councils, energy firms etc after this little Bonaparte runt has spent the morning screaming at them from Lorraine Kelly's couch to "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!"

Any penny-pinching wanker, who at this cunt's behest, spends five hours on the phone to "Dave" in Mumbai to move onto an energy tariff that's two pence a week cheaper, deserves to be sent back in time .......

 

Try his WHEN YOU DON'T NEED A TV LICENCE page and you will become a groupie like all of us chisellers. 

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10 minutes ago, Crab said:

Try his WHEN YOU DON'T NEED A TV LICENCE page and you will become a groupie like all of us chisellers. 

I went three years at university, plus a year afterwards, without bothering to pay for a TV licence.

I don't need some dead-eyed Son of fucking David to tell me how to cheat the system and enjoy a free night of TV on the Shabbat.

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You can imagine this hyperventilating tit on his deathbead.

Here lies Martin lewis.

He never knew the names of the birds. He never saw the midsummer view down Wastwater from the summit of Great Gable. He never read the Russian poets or ate smoked salmon mousse out the arse of a Penthouse pet, whilst smashed up on Amyl Nitrate. He never knew the sheer joy of backing a 40/1 winner at Cheltenham or snaffling the last chocolate chip cookie. He never gazed upon the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or threw a a punch in anger or pogoed down the front of a gig or saw Carlos Acosta or heard Andre Previn or went to Oberammergau or did the Cresta Run or did pints of Guinness with Talisker chasers.

But by Christ he knew which broadband suppliers could save you tuppence ha'penny a month off your Internet bill!

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5 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

You can imagine this hyperventilating tit on his deathbead.

Here lies Martin lewis.

He never knew the names of the birds. He never saw the midsummer view down Wastwater from the summit of Great Gable. He never read the Russian poets or ate smoked salmon mousse out the arse of a Penthouse pet, whilst smashed up on Amyl Nitrate. He never knew the sheer joy of backing a 40/1 winner at Cheltenham or snaffling the last chocolate chip cookie. He never gazed upon the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or threw a a punch in anger or pogoed down the front of a gig or saw Carlos Acosta or heard Andre Previn or went to Oberammergau or did the Cresta Run or did pints of Guinness with Talisker chasers.

But by Christ he knew which broadband suppliers could save you tuppence ha'penny a month off your Internet bill!

Leave him alone he's  brilliant. 

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6 hours ago, scotty said:

Having run out of washing detergent recently,  I was idly googling as to whether or not I could use shower gel in the machine instead of getting out of my pit and down to the shops. This took me to a money saving cuntspert page about homemade washing soap, involving boiling up scraps of old soap, adding soda, reducing the congealed mess to shavings and thereby saving oneself nearly thruppence a month. This advice ran to several pages. 

Martin Lewis is indeed a cunt. 

Link? 

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23 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

You thick fucking bog dweller. It's only myself and Neil that demonstrates there is at least some intelligence in Norfolk.

I normally wouldn't find it necessary to ask this question, but consider it a testament to your spectacular fucking stupidity when I say...You do realise that I was being sarcastic, don't you?

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30 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

You thick fucking bog dweller. It's only myself and Neil that demonstrates there is at least some intelligence in Norfolk.

As to why I relocated to Suffolk.

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7 hours ago, scotty said:

Having run out of washing detergent recently,  I was idly googling as to whether or not I could use shower gel in the machine instead of getting out of my pit and down to the shops. This took me to a money saving cuntspert page about homemade washing soap, involving boiling up scraps of old soap, adding soda, reducing the congealed mess to shavings and thereby saving oneself nearly thruppence a month. This advice ran to several pages. 

Martin Lewis is indeed a cunt. 

My late Aunt Bess, swore by using salt. Armed with only natures finest ingredients and a healthy dollop of elbow grease she would, whirlwind-like, set about her cleansing chores with a cut spud and a walnut in hand, and cut through grime quicker than that cunt on tv can shout FLASH. Elbow grease aside, she ended up in rehab with Housemaids Knee, but me vests & smalls still brush-up whiter than Persil could only dream about. 

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15 hours ago, scotty said:

Having run out of washing detergent recently,  I was idly googling as to whether or not I could use shower gel in the machine instead of getting out of my pit and down to the shops. This took me to a money saving cuntspert page about homemade washing soap, involving boiling up scraps of old soap, adding soda, reducing the congealed mess to shavings and thereby saving oneself nearly thruppence a month. This advice ran to several pages. 

Martin Lewis is indeed a cunt. 

Did you get to the money saving tip involving turning condoms inside out?

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25 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Did you get to the money saving tip involving turning condoms inside out?

I don't doubt that economising on prophylactics is covered somewhere on Pennypinchers Anonymous, CBB. They'll scrape a few miserly savings from practically anything, there's probably a tip involving clingfilm. 

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13 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

You can imagine this hyperventilating tit on his deathbead.

Here lies Martin lewis.

He never knew the names of the birds. He never saw the midsummer view down Wastwater from the summit of Great Gable. He never read the Russian poets or ate smoked salmon mousse out the arse of a Penthouse pet, whilst smashed up on Amyl Nitrate. He never knew the sheer joy of backing a 40/1 winner at Cheltenham or snaffling the last chocolate chip cookie. He never gazed upon the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or threw a a punch in anger or pogoed down the front of a gig or saw Carlos Acosta or heard Andre Previn or went to Oberammergau or did the Cresta Run or did pints of Guinness with Talisker chasers.

But by Christ he knew which broadband suppliers could save you tuppence ha'penny a month off your Internet bill!

To fair to Mr Lewis I've never done that either.

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11 hours ago, Decimus said:

I normally wouldn't find it necessary to ask this question, but consider it a testament to your spectacular fucking stupidity when I say...You do realise that I was being sarcastic, don't you?

Maybe, but you were being honest as well...

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