Trinket collectors

[Bubba C]

You know the cunts, a set of keys with enough shit jangling on it to rival a prison warden.

Their shitty homes, filled to the fucking brim with souvenirs from their package holiday, sold to them by “a local” who’s simply peddling made in Taiwan bullshit to anyone gullible enough to stop. 

The final fucking straw, is the weird cunt who keeps currency from their travels. And I’m not talking about the many millions that most of CC’s members have stuffed under their mattresses, but the people who hold on to a few Turkish Lira as it reminds them of their exotic holiday. 

Fuck right off. 

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

You know the cunts, a set of keys with enough shit jangling on it to rival a prison warden.

Their shitty homes, filled to the fucking brim with souvenirs from their package holiday, sold to them by “a local” who’s simply peddling made in Taiwan bullshit to anyone gullible enough to stop. 

The final fucking straw, is the weird cunt who keeps currency from their travels. And I’m not talking about the many millions that most of CC’s members have stuffed under their mattresses, but the people who hold on to a few Turkish Lira as it reminds them of their exotic holiday. 

Fuck right off. 

The key ring thing seems to be a theme with the female of the species. The average woman's keys weigh around 2lb, this is comprised of plastic meerkats, shopping trolley tokens, encapsulated photos of family, those glass beady eye things that cunts bring back from Turkey, small fluffy toys and Cornish Piskies, 

and one front door key.

[Jiggerycock]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The key ring thing seems to be a theme with the female of the species. The average woman's keys weigh around 2lb, this is comprised of plastic meerkats, shopping trolley tokens, encapsulated photos of family, those glass beady eye things that cunts bring back from Turkey, small fluffy toys and Cornish Piskies, 

and one front door key.

Which, once located clitoris-like after much searching, and used to gain access to their shrine to pre-packaged notional 'good taste', they are swept away by a tsunami of Danbury  and Franklin Mint plates, commemorating a load of risible toot no one cares about.

[Bubba C]

18 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The key ring thing seems to be a theme with the female of the species. The average woman's keys weigh around 2lb, this is comprised of plastic meerkats, shopping trolley tokens, encapsulated photos of family, those glass beady eye things that cunts bring back from Turkey, small fluffy toys and Cornish Piskies, 

and one front door key.

So you’ve met my dear mother then? 

You forgot the pound-shaped token thing for shopping trolleys. Which cost them £3 to buy. 

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

So you’ve met my dear mother then? 

You forgot the pound-shaped token thing for shopping trolleys. Which cost them £3 to buy. 

No, look again.

[camberwell gypsy]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The key ring thing seems to be a theme with the female of the species. The average woman's keys weigh around 2lb, this is comprised of plastic meerkats, shopping trolley tokens, encapsulated photos of family, those glass beady eye things that cunts bring back from Turkey, small fluffy toys and Cornish Piskies, 

and one front door key.

My key ring has a car key and front door key

 

.....a back door key, a cork screw, bottle opener, knuckle duster, lucky gonk, leather cosh, safe deposit box key, toy otter (or seal not sure which), tool for smashing car windows (just in case my car door won't open. Honest), small bronze Anne Boleyn figure what I nicked sorry, bought from Hampton Court gift shop

[camberwell gypsy]

.....a key which opens fuck all but it's on there just in case I find the fucking door it actually does open, small flashlight.....

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, camberwell gypsy said:

My key ring has a car key and front door key

 

.....a back door key, a cork screw, bottle opener, knuckle duster, lucky gonk, leather cosh, safe deposit box key, toy otter (or seal not sure which), tool for smashing car windows (just in case my car door won't open. Honest), small bronze Anne Boleyn figure what I nicked sorry, bought from Hampton Court gift shop

What about the blobs of baked plasticine that your grandkids make for you at school?

[Bubba C]

8 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

.....a back door key, a cork screw, bottle opener, knuckle duster, lucky gonk, leather cosh, safe deposit box key, toy otter (or seal not sure which), tool for smashing car windows (just in case my car door won't open. Honest), small bronze Anne Boleyn figure what I nicked sorry, bought from Hampton Court gift shop

I’d have thought the key to your back door would involve a splash of Hai Karate and a full English. 

Lol. 

[Guest DrCunt]

These types are all car boot wankers. They shoehorn crap that should have gone to landfill two decades ago into every room of their house in the deluded belief that something in there might be worthy of taking to the Antiques Roadshow.

This stems from cunts turning up on the show claiming to have bought something worth several grand for 50p from a car boot. They don't realise that these rare "finds" are probably nicked or it's some impossibly middle classed tosser turning up with an "heirloom" bought 2 weeks before at a vastly overinflated price that allows them to demonstrate just how rich and fucking thick they are.

So... The trinket collectors fill their houses with utter shit that festers for 30 years before their unfortunate relatives have to clear the house out and take it back to another car boot for some other fuckwit to buy.

[camberwell gypsy]

.....small flashlight that don't work, a plastic thing on a keyring, a small Watney's red barrel that I've had since I was a kid,  a brass Lion of St.Mark.....

[Decimus]

Jubilee tea sets, plastic Japanese cat ornaments, a kitchen full of redundant JML products, a shelf full of quartz rocks and fossils, a giant copy of that fucking awful painting where the dogs are smoking whilst playing cards, and a garden full of trouserless gnomes and ceramic frogs.

Welcome to Chez Stubby.

Lol

Fuck off.

[Guest Queefer]

1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

I’d have thought the key to your back door would involve a splash of Hai Karate and a full English. 

Lol. 

A bunch of petrol station flowers and a large bottle of Diamond White should give "access all areas"

[Guest Queefer]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Jubilee tea sets, plastic Japanese cat ornaments, a kitchen full of redundant JML products, a shelf full of quartz rocks and fossils, a giant copy of that fucking awful painting where the dogs are smoking whilst playing cards, and a garden full of trouserless gnomes and ceramic frogs.

Welcome to Chez Stubby.

Lol

Fuck off.

You forgot the nearly complete set of Esso1966 world cup coins , the vast collection of miniature spirit bottles and the Spanish flamenco dancer toilet roll holder 

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, Queefer said:

You forgot the nearly complete set of Esso1966 world cup coins , the vast collection of miniature spirit bottles and the Spanish flamenco dancer toilet roll holder 

Stubby is horrendously bent and doesn't like football. As for the rest, I've no doubt that he owns them, but without the aid of a speculum and a torch, I wouldn't be able to see them lodged seven inches up his arsehole.

[Neil]

On 11/02/2019 at 16:17, camberwell gypsy said:

.....small flashlight that don't work, a plastic thing on a keyring, a small Watney's red barrel that I've had since I was a kid,  a brass Lion of St.Mark.....

Oh fuck,these genuinely are my ol woman's keys

[Bubba C]

14 minutes ago, Queefer said:

A bunch of petrol station flowers and a large bottle of Diamond White should give "access all areas"

Fuck the flowers, she’d probably get down on her knees for all the Esso Tiger tokens found under the seat of a car.

 

[Eric Cuntman]

9 minutes ago, Neil said:

Oh fuck,these genuinely are my ol woman's keys

At least Mrs Neil has a sensibly arranged key ring.

I notice what looks like a couple of Abus padlock keys, you don't actually allow her access to the cellar do you?

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

At least Mrs Neil has a sensibly arranged key ring.

I notice what looks like a couple of Abus padlock keys, you don't actually allow her access to the cellar do you?

I assume that he's got some sort of Fritzl operation going on down there, a stud partitioned compartment where he keeps Claudia Lawrence.

[Eric Cuntman]

9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I assume that he's got some sort of Fritzl operation going on down there, a stud partitioned compartment where he keeps Claudia Lawrence.

'It puts the lotion on its' skin, or else it gets the hose again'

[Decimus]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

'It puts the lotion on its' skin, or else it gets the hose again'

Ernie bangs the sound and no one's spoken since half-past four.

[camberwell gypsy]

19 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Fuck the flowers, she’d probably get down on her knees for all the Esso Tiger tokens found under the seat of a car.

 

More like the 1971 Centenary collection of every team thats won the FA cup, coins. In their blue presentation holder. 

I can't upload pics on my phone.

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

 

I can't upload pics on my phone.

Thank fucking God.

[Neil]

On 11/02/2019 at 17:14, camberwell gypsy said:

More like the 1971 Centenary collection of every team thats won the FA cup, coins. In their blue presentation holder. 

I can't upload pics on my phone.

Oh fuck again,You mean like these?

[and]

40 minutes ago, Neil said:

Oh fuck again,You mean like these?

I'll give you 50p for 'em.