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"Oooh, I'm not very good on sport"


Jiggerycock

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Guest 'eavensabove
13 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Specifically, women (it's always women) on game shows who utter this phrase, armed with the knowledge that they're pretty much going to be asked a question about sport.

If you don't want the re-enforcement of gender stereotypes LEARN MORE SHIT ABOUT SPORT!

But Jiggers, it's not so much about the questions, it's the shit that these gameshows all are. Every cunt on them seems to be as gormless as those that present them. As for myself I know enough about sport to know that most of it is a load of old bollocks, full of cheats and money-grabbing arse-wipes and gaysters...

Here's your starter for 10 no conferring. 

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Guest 'eavensabove
3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I'm not very good on soap operas, but I can live with that.

Are you any good on soap though, or not on your lifeboy?  As I recall, Popeye used to say "put this in your Palmolive, gaa gaaa gaaa gaaa," but it never got him on any gameshows. 

Edited by 'eavensabove
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Just now, camberwell gypsy said:

Watched a  bit of 'millionaire' last night. Some HR woman. Question was 'Flute is: A. Percussion B. String C. Brass or D. Woodwind 

She asked the audience and 2% thought it was a stringed instrument. This dozy fucker actually came away with 125k

Fucking hell. Everyone knows its percussion. And here's me scrubbing floors on minimum wage...

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Guest 'eavensabove
3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Watched a  bit of 'millionaire' last night. Some HR woman. Question was 'Flute is: A. Percussion B. String C. Brass or D. Woodwind 

She asked the audience and 2% thought it was a stringed instrument. This dozy fucker actually came away with 125k

I see Panza on The Generation Game. He came away with the sliding doors & conveyor belt.

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1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

Specifically, women (it's always women) on game shows who utter this phrase, even being forearmed with the knowledge that they're pretty much going to be asked a question about sport.

If you don't want the re-enforcement of gender stereotypes LEARN MORE SHIT ABOUT SPORT!

Good nom. I think there’s a certain subset of quiz show fodder that are only put on because they are at least as thick and ugly as the average daytime viewer. Tipping Point with housewives favourite Ben Shepherd is a case in point. 

Deidre Massive-Specs, you’re a retired fish gutter from Cleethorpes, here’s your first question;

Q. Between 1990 and 1999, Peter Schmeichel was a famous goalkeeper for which English Premier League winning Football Club?

A. Erm....Germany?

Then if you do get past the intellectual assault course of such questions, you’ve got to play with a giant version of the seaside coin pusher to bag ten grand. 

Malcolm Muggeridge was a Cunt, but bang on in many ways. 

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Guest Ollyboro

"Oooh, I don't know that one. I wasn't even born then."

Because, obviously, a person can only know about something if it occurred during their lifetime. Which makes history redundant. It's one of the reasons why I walk around with a permanently itchy arse and heavily skidded undercrackers. Because wiping your arse was invented before I was born. Ditto The Race Relations Act.

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13 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Good nom. I think there’s a certain subset of quiz show fodder that are only put on because they are at least as thick and ugly as the average daytime viewer. Tipping Point with housewives favourite Ben Shepherd is a case in point. 

Deidre Massive-Specs, you’re a retired fish gutter from Cleethorpes, here’s your first question;

Q. Between 1990 and 1999, Peter Schmeichel was a famous goalkeeper for which English Premier League winning Football Club?

A. Erm....Germany?

Then if you do get past the intellectual assault course of such questions, you’ve got to play with a giant version of the seaside coin pusher to bag ten grand. 

Malcolm Muggeridge was a Cunt, but bang on in many ways. 

Yeah!

Or

'Vitas Gerulaitis was a) An American tennis player or b) a type of vaginal yeast infection?"

"Oooooh that's a tricky one.

Toblerone?"

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Guest 'eavensabove
49 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Yeah!

Or

'Vitas Gerulaitis was a) An American tennis player or b) a type of vaginal yeast infection?"

"Oooooh that's a tricky one.

Toblerone?"

There's a few on here that could apply for a contester appearance on Blankety Blank, however I digress. 

I did rather well on Mastermind with my specialist subject being 'Pass.'  I answered all of my questions correctly, but the General Knowledge let me down big time and I was pipped to the post by a Dulux colour-chart enthusiast who knew every shade of beige.  

Edited by 'eavensabove
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40 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said:

As a kid I would sit through Ask the Family just to hear my old man mutter stuff like  " You condescending patronising know all middle class twat" .. and that was just at the presenter.

 

I imagine your father would not have enjoyed Only Connect. Still, it’s nice to see some lads on the Autistic Spectrum venture forth from the Warhammer shop and talk to a woman. Even if it is the insufferably smug Ms Coren Mitchell. 

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39 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I imagine your father would not have enjoyed Only Connect. Still, it’s nice to see some lads on the Autistic Spectrum venture forth from the Warhammer shop and talk to a woman. Even if it is the insufferably smug Ms Coren Mitchell. 

"Roll one D6 with disadvantage for stiffy control"

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1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I imagine your father would not have enjoyed Only Connect. Still, it’s nice to see some lads on the Autistic Spectrum venture forth from the Warhammer shop and talk to a woman. Even if it is the insufferably smug Ms Coren Mitchell. 

Massive fucking tits mind 

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Guest Ollyboro

Not anymore, I'm afraid. She's the shape of an overused beanbag these days. No doubt Mitchell has gone from not believing his good luck to not believing his bad luck. I shudder to think how much her Greggs pie bills come to. Her stools must be particularly unpleasant. I reckon Mitchell spends an inordinate amount of time snapping them.

Edited by Ollyboro
Cunt spittle
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Guest 'eavensabove
28 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Not anymore, I'm afraid. She's the shape of an overused beanbag these days. No doubt Mitchell has gone from not believing his good luck to not believing his bad luck. I shudder to think how much her Greggs pie bills come to. Her stools must be particularly unpleasant. I reckon Mitchell spends an inordinate amount of time snapping them.

Her tits Only Connect with her knees. She was Ben Elton's inspiration for an Upstart Crow, having seen the rushes of her chubby-hubby up to his elbows whilst going knackers-deep side-saddling her cleavage. She rubbed off on him to such an extent that he started thinking the unthinkable, followed suit, and became a professional poker. 

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Guest DrCunt
42 minutes ago, Neil said:

She'd get a full house from me,one in the gob and one up the rear whilst motor boating those jugs,lucky posh fucker

I'm with you on this one, Neil. She's thinking man's crumpet and I've zero doubt she's utterly filthy.

I must admit though, her norks were rather intimidating when she was pregnant. Think the rampaging breasts in Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQLwRuyj6tKaAt5ftEWjMg

 

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Guest 'eavensabove
8 minutes ago, DrCunt said:

I'm with you on this one, Neil. She's thinking man's crumpet and I've zero doubt she's utterly filthy.

I must admit though, her norks were rather intimidating when she was pregnant. Think the rampaging breasts in Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQLwRuyj6tKaAt5ftEWjMg

 

Two's up with Neil, eh? Which one of you's taking her arse? This is more like a thinking mans nightmare, DrC

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Guest DrCunt
2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Two's up with Neil, eh? Which one of you's taking her arse? This is more like a thinking mans nightmare, DrC

Steady on 'eavens. No one mentioned going two up except you, and if you're putting that in your wank bank with the suspect porn that you've posted on here in the past I'm going to hunt you down and smash your glass collection.

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